Kmorton3 Posted December 4, 2016 Share Posted December 4, 2016 Hello, I'm I writing today because I need some advice on my current situation with my boyfriend. My boyfriend [26 male] & I [22 female] met at my job; we had be seeing each other for 3 months before it turned into a relationship [almost 2 months now]. Everything was good until 3 days ago After we had met with our friends for dinner we stayed behind to have quality time with each other like we always do. We were talking and It got on the to the topic of me wanting him to meet my mom. He tells me that basically he doesn't want to meet mom, [even though I met his parents] because he doesn't see our relationship like that. That really hurt my feelings! i said "so what am I? some girl your just dating?" All he said was "that make me feel bad when you say it like that" and "i haven't been giving you what you deserve". And he kept saying he loved who was as person and that it wasnt my fault. At that point i was upset that I zoned out. He asked if I was ok and I told him I was fine and that I needed to go home. He said ok told me to text him to let him know I'm home and he gave me a kiss. I did text and he said ok. Next day, my heart felt unsettled because I was hurt by his words. I wanted to meet ulwith him and talk to him about how I felt. So, i messaged him to do so, and he ignored me for a whole 6 hours. I texted him again saying "i really think we need to talk" 2 hours go by and he reply with "I'm sorry I'm not going to be able make it out tonight I have a lot going on". That got me even more mad because 1. He ignored me 2. Now he is using excuses to not see me and I'm upset. SO i replied saying "i get the feeling that maybe we should just be friends". No reply! At that point i was fed up because i font understand how he could treat me like this I have always been good to him,respected him, and given him his space, and have been there when he needs me. Now he is giving me the cold shoulder when i am trying to express my feelings i dont get it. The next day we worked together we avoided each other. And my plan was to do so until after the shift was over and then we could talk. But the next thing i know he leaves early! He didn't even say anything to me, but told my Co worker whom he is paired with that it was an emergency. She tells me what happen and my heart drops. I'm thinking that something bad happened, so i texted him to let me know if everything was ok! I was sad that I started to cry! I care about him a lot! Everyone us asking me what happened and i dont know because he hasn't responded. Come to find out he left because he got fired! My boss had to tell me. I don't know why he would make bad choices to put his self in that situation. But I'm worried now because he hasn't said anything to me, and I don't know if ill hear from him again he has just left me hanging! And I know he is ignoring me because he is on social media with his friends. I just don't understand why he would do that to me because i have treated him good, I'm not one to nag, or be clingy, i respect his space. But what he is doing is disheartening and I'm not sure what to do! Link to comment
Hollyj Posted December 4, 2016 Share Posted December 4, 2016 Because he is a coward. Please do not reach out agin, as you have done enough. I too, would be insulted if someone told me that that saw they no future. I'm sorry, but this guy has left the relationship. It's over. I hope to god that you do not want this guy back? He has been very disrespectful to you. You deserve better!! Link to comment
mel9090 Posted December 4, 2016 Share Posted December 4, 2016 He doesn't deserve you. You two obviously want different things. He disrespected you, probably not intentionally, but still he did it. Get over him, now you be the one who ignores him, don't care and don't ask about him. Even if he tries to each you out IGNORE. You deserve better. He for sure has his reasons but he could have done all this with more respect and more dignity. Ignoring is never a way. Link to comment
Kmorton3 Posted December 4, 2016 Author Share Posted December 4, 2016 I know im just confused because he has never dont that to me before. And its very hurtful because im left hanging with bo explanation of what is going on between us. I thought he was on of thgood guys. Im going to give it time but, if he doesnt reach out that will be very disappointing. Link to comment
Kmorton3 Posted December 4, 2016 Author Share Posted December 4, 2016 And to be honest even though i was dissapointed that he wont meet my mom. Im pretty understanding that maybe he isnt there in the relationship yet. But him ignoring me made things 10 times worse. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted December 4, 2016 Share Posted December 4, 2016 Yes, he was out of line, yet it seems like he already had one foot out the door. Since you now know what he's made of, I wouldn't go back for more. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted December 4, 2016 Share Posted December 4, 2016 And to be honest even though i was dissapointed that he wont meet my mom. Im pretty understanding that maybe he isnt there in the relationship yet. But him ignoring me made things 10 times worse. He told you that he doesn't see a future with you. That should be all the info you need to know. Hear what he has told you, not what yo are trying to interpret. Please do not respond to this jerk, he will string you along. Link to comment
Birdie Posted December 4, 2016 Share Posted December 4, 2016 He did give you an explanation, he doesn't see a future with you. What more is there to say? It'll just be lots of words going in circles with, in the end, the same answer. Link to comment
Silverbirch Posted December 4, 2016 Share Posted December 4, 2016 Holly is right. I think it sounds like he just decided you were not right for him. I have been in position with a person I simply saw as a friend - never a date or anything physical. He seemed to think that because he was nice to me that I should want to be with him. He wouldn't accept that I didn't want to be in a relationship with me, and the more pressure I felt from him, the more repelled I felt. I know you are upset, but he is not obliged to keep telling you over and over that he does not want a serious relationship with you. You need to move on and go full No Contact. That means no stalking his social media. I know I must sound harsh, but doing what you are doing will keep you in pain even longer. I've been dumped several times myself and know how hard it can be. I didn't handle any if my breakups well, and regret staying in contact with people who did not want to be in relationship with me. It took away from my dignity and self-respect. Link to comment
Kmorton3 Posted December 4, 2016 Author Share Posted December 4, 2016 damn it I thought he was one of the good guys! Link to comment
Kmorton3 Posted December 4, 2016 Author Share Posted December 4, 2016 Also, i forgot to mention he kept say he liked the way things were in our relationship so far. And that he didnt see our relationship in that way by meeting mom. at first i took it as he doesnt take me or the relationship seriously. then I also thought maybe he thinks im moving to fast and isnt ready to meet my parents.My mom told me he may think its like step towards marriage, but thats not the case at all! Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted December 4, 2016 Share Posted December 4, 2016 No, he just doesn't want to be a serious boyfriend to you. He liked things the way they were going because it was a casual thing for him and he didn't have to make any steps toward a bigger commitment. When he realized that's what you wanted, he bailed. It's not that he isn't ready. He'd have said so if that were the case. But he told you he doesn't see your relationship the way you do. Though you may have cared a lot about him, he doesn't feel the same about you, unfortunately. I know it hurts a lot, but it's better that you found out now than continuing with someone who wasn't looking to make it serious with you. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted December 4, 2016 Share Posted December 4, 2016 Also, i forgot to mention he kept say he liked the way things were in our relationship so far. And that he didnt see our relationship in that way by meeting mom. at first i took it as he doesnt take me or the relationship seriously. then I also thought maybe he thinks im moving to fast and isnt ready to meet my parents.My mom told me he may think its like step towards marriage, but thats not the case at all! So, you met his mom and then he changed his tune? Is that true? If so, something may have happened there to change his mind. For example, she might not have liked you. Link to comment
Kmorton3 Posted December 4, 2016 Author Share Posted December 4, 2016 I forgot to mention that he also was saying that he liked the way our relationship was so far. When I mentioned about him meet meeting my mom that when he said that he didnt see our relationship that way [i guess he means that serious]. AT why be my bf if you dont take me seriously. Then I also thought maybe thinks its a step towords marriage or something and he is freaking out, thats what my mom thinks. But, none the less the silence from him is mean. Ill give him some space. Link to comment
Kmorton3 Posted December 4, 2016 Author Share Posted December 4, 2016 No, I have met his parents and they like me! He told me so! And his friends love me! So i font get the big deal! Link to comment
JaggerJim Posted December 4, 2016 Share Posted December 4, 2016 I take it he does not see a future with you, so he would rather not meet your mother. I'd find someone else. Link to comment
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