Jump to content

Being left for another man by my ex girlfriend


ayrivera

Recommended Posts

My and my ex gf broke up 7 months ago back in late April. We had bad fights and she stated she was unhappy. She then proceeded to have an active social media presence by liking all the status and picture of a guy we knew mutaually for 2 years. Me and the guy were friends. I met his mother, his sister and I been to house on several occasions. Me and my ex would hang out with him on several occasions. I tried to beg for her back. It it did not work. I confronted her about the guy and if she liked him and she said no. There was plenty of evidence suggesting otherwise. My worst fears were confirmed this past Monday as they are now in an offical relationship. I am have been in a living hell since last spring. I love this girl with al my heart. She was my first and I was hers. This new guy is everything I am not. He is much taller, older, more financially stable and better looking. He was my friend. The betrayal by both of them is unbearable. I found out about them recently through a friend. They both blocked me on social media to both hide and avoid me confronting them. I would never do this to anyone, let alone someone I shared 5 years with in my ex girl. I am in love with her very much still. The pain I feel is numbing. I have tried to date other women but it's not the same. I don't know how people can do this to another human being. My integrity and honor would not let me date the girl of someone I knew personally. My ex gf is a whole different person. She was sweet, caring and faithful...how should proceed with this? I still love her and would want to have her back...I know is foolish..but I can't help what my heart feels.

Link to comment

Please don't be sad. She was single and allowed to date anybody,

 

Love is a two way street. She didn't love you back. Give yourself some time. You will heal and will date again.

 

It hurts right now but you will find the perfect girl for you in the future.

 

Cheer up. Go have some fun.

Link to comment
She also said she would not hurt me like that when I talked to her about it but she did anyway.

 

So she is a completely different person, you feel she has betrayed you, but also say you want her back...why? You will never trust her again. The fights would be even worse.

 

You were having bad fights and she expressed to you that she was unhappy. She had probably been contemplating leaving for a while, hence, why she appeared to have moved on so quickly while you were left heartbroken. The relationship in her heart, had run its course.

 

What have you been up to the past 7 months? It sounds as though you aren't ready to date. Take some to heal and get past this so your heart will be open to letting someone else in.

Link to comment

I semi understand what you are going through. If u read my post I made yesterday.... I'm heart broken. The guy I was dating I thought I was his first for alot we talked about a life together even tried making a baby ( in a short time crazy I know but love makes u want crazy things) anyways I got blind sided... he was still hooked on his ex apparently and left me for her...and every dam thing he ever told me was a lie.

 

It's heart breaking to have someone chose someoNE else over you. Just know your worth more. One day you will be someone's first and only choice! !!

Link to comment

Lots of "get over it" type posts here but many that are right you deserve and will find better.

 

But wanted to chime in and say you are right. They'd both betrayed you and these things do happen all the time but it doesn't make it ok that it happened to you five years with someone and a friend... the worst kind of betrayal.

 

My cousins childhood best friend chose his ex wife and mother of his kids over him recently. And now his kids have to see that guy. It's worse but does not minimize your pain.

 

Hang in there, build yourself up, become an amazing man and rewards will come. You deserve such better treatment.

Link to comment

Sorry to hear mate.

 

I went through a very similar experience to you 2 years ago. GF broke up with me out of no where (no fighting either) and a few months later moved in with the guy who she said was just like a brother to her.

 

It hurts but you are doing the right things by bettering yourself. It takes time and you will in time know what you need in life to move on, don't rush things as they come to you when they are meant too.

Link to comment

I know exactly how you feel because my story played out like yours but with a slight twist... I work with both of them! Just like you did, I had a strong, strong feeling something was up between my gf at the time and him but she kept denying it. Then out of nowhere she breaks up with me with some bs story then two days later she is dating the other guy.

 

I am grateful everyday that she did this to me now rather than later because it could have been a lot worse. It frees me up to be in a relationship with someone I can trust who isn't a cheater.

Link to comment

Yeah. I would not wish this pain on anyone else other than them. While they are happy I am hear in my own personal hell. I hope one day they fee what I feel. Idk. I know I am being bitter. But I can't help but feel justified. Their relationship started out on sea of negative events. The fact that they have to hide from me to fee and ease speaks volumes. Idk. The get over it line is valid. However it is much easier said than done. This pain won't ever go away. It will subside, but not go away.

Link to comment

This unfortunately is very common so you learned a lesson about girls...and even if you got her back now it would never be the same as she's dumped you for someone else so there's really no going back to the way things were as everything has changed ...it sucks but it's part of life.

Link to comment
This new guy is everything I am not. He is much taller, older, more financially stable and better looking.

 

What's his number? Just kidding.

 

First loves can be the hardest ones to let go of. But she's gone. And she's in a relationship. Your time is over for her.

 

I think you really need to block her on social media. It makes it harder to move on when you are still seeing her life there.

 

And it might not hurt you to see a therapist for a session or two.

Link to comment

My friend, I'm gonna surprise you: You don't love her.

 

You don't love this girl, but you're keeping a perfect image of her in your mind. You bring all those good memories, probably from the beginning of your relationship and you completely ignore the bad side of her. I know what it is like to be left for some other guy. 2 months ago, my ex girlfriend of 7 month (who seemed to be the most perfect girl I had ever met) left me for a guy from work who she barely knew. When I found out about it, I realized that I wasn't dating a girl, but a tennis ball which was bouncing from one guy to another.

 

You see, you're idealizing her in your mind. You think that you still love her but it's not true. You're just attached to her and you bring back memories from the past. Don't do this. Dude, I've had a few girlfriends in my life who seemed to be "this one" and my relationship ended with all of them. But when one of my relationship ended there always appeared someone better. There are plenty more fish in the sea. Don't worry. You'll find somebody better. Try to focus on yourself, on your career, on your job, studies, I don't know. But do something with your life and don't think about that girl - she's just bouncing from one guy to another. And it's a sign that she really can't be trusted. Don't be bothered. Leave her alone and let her live her pathetic life.

 

And about your "friend"

there's an old saying "No sex with your bro's ex". Keep that in mind. Him and your ex don't respect you. Why would you even want to have such people in your life? You're better than him and better than your ex.

 

Good luck!

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...