My brother has become a monster

This is really, really long. I've been dealing with this alone for a very long time.

Growing up, my brother was really fun. We liked a lot of the same things, and we always laughed and joked with each other. Yeah, there were disagreements, but any friendship has those. Then things took a turn for the worse and he got really REALLY opinionated. IT was as if he had a negative opinion about everything, from protesters to homosexual people to just about everything except whatever fit into his tiny, narrow-minded world. He began to absolutely despise things just because I liked them; he'd make excuses to just to make himself hate the things I like. Then he went to college. I was glad when he left, and I always dreaded his return every weekend (parents paid for college). He was still insufferable and an absolute monster.

Then he failed out of college. When he came back from that, he was even more awful for about a month, then the weirdest thing happened. He suddenly turned around. His confidence took such a big hit that he just stopped being a monster and started to open his mind. He started to accept and embrace many of the things he previously loathed, even homosexual people, which I thought impossible for him (he was really a jerk). I felt we were finally getting along. Like my friend had returned from an age long-forgotten.

We were great for a really long time. We had both been writing stories for quite a while; since I was in 6th grade, actually. We had a lot of these stories, so, seeing as things were going so swimmingly between us, we decided to collaborate. Thus, The Collaboration was born. And with it Moonay. Moonay is a character my brother made. But that's not all Moonay is. She has absolutely no flaws. The problem is Moonay is essentially a perfected version of my brother, or at least what my brother thinks is perfect. She got pampered and treated like a goddess. None of the other characters mattered anymore. She's absolutely perfect at everything, and that's unrealistic. I understand that a flawless character is bad storytelling, but it's quite evident my brother doesn't.

Anyway, The Collaboration ended up getting canceled, and the reason why will astound you. I started to play my brother's favorite games with Japanese dialogue. Oh, no! Woe be to he who plays games in Japanese! My brother was so shocked at my "betrayal" that he just moved along to giving Moonay her own story and left The Collaboration in the dust. See, the problem was he was too narrow-minded to accept a different voice language, so he began to feel "betrayed". Anyway, we kept working on our respective stories, with The Collaboration in the past.

Things got rockier from there. He suddenly started to get jealous that I liked things more than his story (which is, to the surprise of nobody, basically just a way to worship and enshrine Moonay), and he eventually decided to start a second collaboration with me. Dubbed "Collab 2", this was supposed to fix all the problems of Collab 1. We both promised it wouldn't die like Collab 1.

Months, maybe even a year later, things got even worse. I kept pushing for my characters to get equal representation, and he refused to listen to reason. The point of a "collaboration" is to represent both sides fairly, is it not? Anyway, we cancelled Collab 2 because of a nasty argument over some stupid stories! I vowed never to write again, but you know what he did? He stole all my characters! And everything! Can you even believe that?!? Then, after about 3 months, I decided to start writing again, and, long story short, he was so jealous of me paying attention to something that isn't his story that he forced me to cancel that too. And guess what? He stole THAT story AND it's characters too!

Fast forward to now, where I am writing another story, which I made the mistake of sharing with him. Any time I like ANYTHING or show ANY amount of affection toward even freakin' Pokémon, he gets jealous and starts to hate it. On top of that, he has an opinion about EVERYTHING; and woe be to he who disagrees with it. Over the years of dealing with this, I've learned to stop expressing my opinion and keep to myself about ANYTHING he doesn't agree about, simply to keep the façade of peace we have set up. I ended up giving up on the Japanese Voiceover thing just so we could at least have a few things in common. I'm plagued by anxiety day in and day out, and there is NO trust between us at all anymore. He does this thing where he'll obviously be sniping at me rudely, then the moment I call him out on it, he says it was a joke and blames me for being paranoid. It's really frustrating. I've confronted him about our situation, and it's quite clear he does not want to change. As long as he can worship his goddess Moonay, nothing matters to him. He's even given up on having children in favor of his sick obsession. He thinks everything has to fit into his narrow-minded world, or it's wrong and needs to be hated and shunned and insulted and destroyed. Sound familiar?

Anyway, thanks for listening (or reading I guess). I am not interested in suicide because I do not want to disappoint my Mom and Dad. My brother sometimes threatens to commit suicide, but the moment I mention that I'm gonna tell Mom or Dad, he begs for forgiveness and stops. He's pathetic and he's not my brother anymore. He's a waste of space, and he's caused me no end of trouble, including a crippling anxiety about everything that is quite difficult to live with. It's gotten to the point where I just feel absolutely nothing, and that scares me. I just don't care anymore, and I'm looking for a way to escape so I don't have to deal with it anymore. Should I give up on him?

Do you have other friends? He sounds flawed and irritating, why keep working with him? Can you move out and not live with him? You might find you have more space for him when you aren't living with or collaborating with him.

Oh I'm not collaborating with him ever again, that's for sure. Right now we're both living with our parents, so moving out isn't an option until that's done. As with other friends, he gets really jealous which is hard to deal with if I don't pamper him for a while afterward. I'm currently just taking the hit and dealing with him until I can escape.

pretend you've suddenly become the most boring, unimaginative person ever, with not an original thought in your mind. you don't even have an opinion on any of his interests. "i dunno man". "sounds cool bruh".

he can steal all the stories he wants and achieve nothing with them because of his uncanny fixation on idolizing a stagnantly pampered (infantized?), persona stunted in a state reeking of the "safety of the womb".

you don't have to give up the stories and characters he stole.continue your work individually. worst case scenario there'll be 2 versions for the public to enjoy. if ppl can put cinderella in porn, why can't your characters leap to an alternative reality created by someone else.

write at the library.

i feel for him in a way, because he clearly is projecting something disturbing onto everyone and everything, as to rid himself of it. his idealized goddess the only way for him to attain his ego-ideal...it becomes clear why he needs this project, this character...and why he projects all this hate...to have this unattainable ego-ideal of perfection he feels he needs to match to be acceptable...he must feel so UNacceptable and unworthy as he is that it's honestly sad.

i feel for you too. it's exhausting and taxing and you're always expecting his next scene, he eats up all your nervous resources...so i mean it-- be as boring as you can. he'll have to find a new target, or he'll implode in the absence of someone to vomit his negativity onto...to the point your parents and his teachers will notice...and release you of the responsibility for his balance, which you have provided him to your own detriment by offering him an outlet for his frustration.

i think the worst part for you is the feeling of losing your brother to some evil twin of his almost. and it'll be painful to watch his descents and painful to be there with trepidation, expecting nothing good and hoping for it as well, in phases when he seems to be cured-or not- by either others, himself, creativity or life's lessons. all i can say is to find some support for yourself...and to keep in mind it's usually the persons whom we had simoultaneously the worst and the best experiences with that faclitate our growth the most. your brother can't bear to see both good and bad in an entity at the same time, the splitting is such he may have strong schizoid traits that may be there to stay even. draw a lesson from that, to give up polarized evaluations alltogether. nothing is only good or only bad, everything is imperfect because that is life, humans are fallible and not bad, people and life needn't be perfect and sheltered like his mooney or whatshername to be acceptable. you may learn the craft of creating harmony through conflict with his "help".

your brother displays his inner conflicts and disturbance so vividly that this exaggeration of psychological mechanisms present in everyone to a normal degree will serve you as a walking talking tutorial on human development, disturbance, and balance.

sometimes when i can't help judging, i can re-calibrate myself by choosing to observe with great interest instead.

I don't care for my sisters opinions mostly because they are factually wrong, and mostly because she lives in a bubble. I love my sister so I don't engage in opinionated matters. Sometimes that's all you can do.

You always have the option to keep your mouth shut when he spews whatever you disagree with. You don't actually have to engage in an argument with him.

I found your post somewhat ironic. You accuse your brother of being incredibly opinionated, but your tone here is identical. You are right he is wrong. What you have in reality is a bit like two rams of equal size and power dueling. Neither one of you can win the battle because while you are opposite in some ways, you are too identical at the same time. Your only solution is space and learning how to be more tactful and diplomatic. You'll need those skills in life at large as well.

It's not proving he's wrong that I care about! He'd might as well continue like this forever; as long as I don't have to deal with it anymore! Every day is determined by his mood. If he's even SLIGHTLY miffed, the whole day sucks. The real problem is I don't want him to hate everything I like! I never said I hate everything he likes.

I guess what I'm really asking is: Is he ever going to be good again? Or should I just give up on him?

Wait, so you're saying to stop fighting and not let it bother me? I don't understand what you're saying, DancingFool

I'm just as bad as he is, aren't I? I'm a monster too...is that right? I'm not being acceptant of his view at all...I guess I'm nothing but a hypocrite...

As long as he can worship his goddess Moonay, nothing matters to him. He's even given up on having children in favor of his sick obsession. He thinks everything has to fit into his narrow-minded world, or it's wrong and needs to be hated and shunned and insulted and destroyed. Sound familiar?

Sounds like he has his own little religious cult consisting of one person.

Worships an imaginary supernatural deity to which he attributes perfection. Blocks out and shuns everything he doesn't agree with. Probably uses some kind of circular of pseudo logic to justify this and brings this deity into it somewhere no doubt as justification.

Coupled with a swinging superiority/inferiority complex.

Yep. Sounds very familiar.

"“Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn

“ ‘a man against his father,

a daughter against her mother,

a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law—

a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.

“Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it."

Mathew 10:34

I guess this applies to Brothers too judging by the sound of your situation.

He is your brother, always remember that. But he sounds like he has a typical religious cult type complex going on. At least it's his own cult, I guess, not someone elses.

Dunno what to say. Once this kind of thing happens, there is very little reasoning you can do with the person. Sorry to hear about this. Be there for him as far as you can without destroying yourself, I guess.

He began to absolutely despise things just because I liked them

Sounds like lots of sibling rivalry here. I would stop trying to write stories with my brother. let him be on his own stuff. Just be polite/nice to him at the dinner table. I know there were periods of time - months, a few years, where a sibling and I really didn't get along and then there were times later down the road that we did. When you are both full adults and into your own lives, things will change again. You don't have to be best friends or agree, but you will get to the point of being civil again. I love my siblings even though we don't always see eye to eye

It isn't about Moonay. It isn't. It's about the fact that Moonay is all that matters. Moonay and the stories centered around her. You know, I think they're repetitive and the same thing over and over, but I don't hate them. And I don't hate Moonay. I just don't understand why. Why does my opinion matter so much that I HAVE to like the stories or he's unhappy? He always says he's independent. Why does he have to dislike the things I like just because they aren't his story?

Here's what I learned from this forum: my brother is selfish and obsessive, I'm bad at describing the situation, my brother may be trying to BECOME Moonay, and I need to make sure I don't twist toward doing the same thing as him. True, he's made some interesting story choices, like having about 10 alternate dimension versions of Moonay, and all that needless fan service, but you know what? He's got his thing, and I've got mine. I'm not gonna be petty at all anymore. But I do still think that Moonay is a Mary Sue, and that he doesn't write arguments well. That's my opinion.

I am gonna keep writing. My brother is never going to publish his work, and that's because he's probably afraid people won't like Moonay. And you know what? That's his choice. When I finish my work, I'll let the world see it. I might even take my characters and stories back. 'Cuz you know what? I really don't care what he thinks. I'm gonna take it for just a little longer then escape. Thanx everyone!

How old is he? Some psychotic disorders manifest or become more recognizable later. Many people function quite well with them.

People who listen to concerts put on by children and the show is terrible - they say "that was nice to invite me, honey" "you did a lot of hard work to get ready", etc, but they never say "you were the best one there" or "you stunk". Maybe there is a way just to say "that's cool', etc and make comments that are lukewarm so he will leave you alone and not start an argument over you not liking it.