So desperate for answers

Hi

Its been a month since my bf of 8 months and i split up.He ended it on the roadside with a huge audience in the most violent hurtful way possible.

I found out he is a cocaine user ..The day before he ended things we agreed to work on our relationship as it was a hard time for us.

Since the breakup he cut all contact with me, blocked me from any media sight and refuses to talk to me.Im so terribly hurt at the way he ended it.

Iv since being desperately trying to contact him to get him help as he was in a shootout, he survived but lost family members very tragically.So im

assuming thats where the bitterness stems from.

He says he hates me and there is nothing to talk about us because there is no us.

Im dying on the inside.

I am a 25 year old divorced female.

Dossier I am so sorry for your pain.

You can nnot fix him, trust that he will get himself help if he wants it and if he doesn't want help, then others effort won't be helpful anyway. He has to want help as a conscious desire, not that deep down need that you may see and want to help soothe.

He is capable of gun violence. Will you please turn your attention away from him and onto yourself so that you become strong?

Thank you Ithinkican

You cannot help him unless he wants to help himself. And it appears he doesn't.

I'm sorry for what you have been through, but this man is in no place to be in a relationship. You need to stop searching for answers from him because he can't give them to you.

Close this chapter so you can start to recover. He isn't boyfriend material at all.

Cocaine....shootouts......family getting killed in a shootout.....

What you are doing girl? You should be running away from him screaming and thanking your lucky stars you haven't been shot yourself. He is not some lost puppy dog who needs your help, love and affection. He is a grown azz man who knows what he is doing, what he is getting involved in and the consequences of his actions. Don't you ever get yourself confused like that again. You need something to love and nurture, go adopt a dog. I'm serious. Do not project your need to fix and nurture onto dangerous criminals. He is not a victim in his life, he is an active participant. Cocaine users don't get their families shot up, dealers do. Think, connect the dots and stay far away from him and people like him.

Hi Guys.

Thanks so much for words of encouragement.

He didnt shoot he was involved in a business robbery and he and his family were shot.Only he survived

Game over. You are fortunate to have found this out and escaped. Stay no contact, block him on everything and be very very grateful you are not with this drug abuser any longer.

I found out he is a cocaine user

Thanks so much guys.

I feel so good hearing confirmation that I need to thank God that we are no longer together.