I've had it with my Dad

I'm 17 years old and my parents have been separated for 2 years now. I live with my Dad and I see my mom Friday night, Saturday, and Sunday (and sometimes Wednesday night). Basically, I see my mom for two whole days and some hours on the side and you would think my Dad would be fine with this except he isn't and he acts like a baby about it. Every time I leave he says "oh you're leaving me again," or sometimes he's on the phone and he talks to his friends saying, "Yea she's leaving me again." When he says this on the phone I ignore him and then he says, "Yea she just heard me say that and she doesn't look like she cares..." And to be quite honest I don't. I get more mad than anything, it is so selfish to want to keep me all the time and to attempt to make me feel bad for seeing my own mother. Just now I was leaving to my moms and he goes, "I'm gonna say it, why so much time with mom?" I told him I'm spending my usual two days at her house and then left but i regret saying this so much. Why didn't I say more? I want to bring up the topic with my Dad but I don't know if I should text him about it while this subject is still somewhat fresh or wait till i get back to my Dad's tomorrow to talk about it in person? I'm reluctant to talk about it in person because I may choke up or cry but I know it is what most people suggest. How should I bring this up with my Dad and what should I say? I'm so angry about it 'I'm not sure how to bring it up civilly.

How much time do you see your Dad? Because if he's only seeing you for a couple of hours of an evening in the week, then I could understand him feeling hurt that you spend all the weekend with your mom.

Do you think it's because he wants you to not see your mom, or because he wants to spend more time with you?

ETA: please talk to him about how he's making you feel with this though. You should try to understand where he's coming from, but at the same time try to get him to understand that his relationship with your mom is nothing to do with your relationship with your mom.

Why did your parents separate? How long were they together? Was there cheating? My wife cheated and left me and our daughter almost 3 years ago when she was 17 too. Your dad may be feeling a little insecure if his wife dumped him. It's difficult for men if this was the reason. My wife and I were together 24 years so it's a huge adjustment. Maybe reassure your dad you love him and aren't going to leave him permanently. Maybe suggest a special dinner when you get back..I'm sure he's hurting

You should let him know. My guess is he has no idea how much it's hurting you. He can't read your mind and he is a flawed person. Maybe write him an e-mail? When I'm worried about talking to someone through a lot of emotions I find that it's easier to make what Im saying clear if I write it out.

Yes, talk to him. Or write a letter to him. Communicate.

I think it's great how you are handling this situation so far. I wouldn't change how mature you're acting. I also can't imagine how hard it has to be.

That being said, the next time he says something you could say, "Dad, I love you and Mom both the same. I'm sorry you feel this way, but I'm going to spend some time with her now." It sounds like you won't be able to argue with him about it since you don't want to face being grounded. You could also try and ignore it. And when he says something, you can say "Dad, I love you. I'll see you soon."

If you give in, or try and pick a fight it won't go anywhere. If you continue to show class and maturity it will go farther than you think. If he does say something, you can say "Dad, Im sorry you feel that way." If he says, "No you dont, or else you wouldn't go." You could tell him, "Dad, Im sorry this bothers you, but I love you and Mom the same. I'm going to spend some time with her now. I'll see you soon." If you continue with that, there isn't much he can do other than whine.

Im sorry you're going through this. Try and stay the course and be strong.

Good luck.

Maybe your Dad resents the fact that you spend every weekend with your Mom. Weekends are prime time, after all. Who made these visitation times? It seems like your Dad should be getting some more weekend time, honestly. chi

I see him maybe one weekend a month so maybe we have to fix that. I don't think its because he wants to spend more time with me. He usually get outs of work at 5 but often he gets home at 7 and then goes to the neighbors house. One night I was alone in the house till 6 in the morning! He confuses me because if he wanted to spend more time he would make more of an effort to.

My parents separated after 19 years (19 years of hell) because of money, jealousy, and cheating. But my dads the one who cheated on her. At first my mom was the crazy one but once she found a life by going to the gym my dad started getting jealous and angry, he would yell at my mom for not doing dishes or wearing makeup to the gym, just very dumb things. Eventually after the cheating and constant arguments my mom left him. I think you're right maybe I'll reassure him I love him but he just has to stop making me uncomfortable about seeing my own mother.

Thank you! I'll rehearse the best words to say

Yea I guess, I see him about one weekend a month so I'll fix that. And my parents were never married and never went to court so these visitation times are solely just made by the three of us so we can easily change it. Thank you!

Thank you for the help! All of your comments are very helpful thus far. I'll talk to him today when he gets back from work

Talk to a school counselor about your parents divorce/custody battle and what they are subjecting you to..

Ask for some family therapy. As a child, you should not be in the crossfire of their divorce/custody issues.

Ask your mother to petition for more custody. Tell dad point blank "I'm the kid here, not you so stop the guilt trips because I didn't cause you and mom to divorce".

it is so selfish to want to keep me all the time and to attempt to make me feel bad for seeing my own mother. Just now I was leaving to my moms and he goes, "I'm gonna say it, why so much time with mom?"

I'm 17 years old and my parents have been separated for 2 years now. I live with my Dad and I see my mom Friday night, Saturday, and Sunday (and sometimes Wednesday night). Basically, I see my mom for two whole days and some hours on the side and you would think my Dad would be fine with this except he isn't and he acts like a baby about it. Every time I leave he says "oh you're leaving me again," or sometimes he's on the phone and he talks to his friends saying, "Yea she's leaving me again." When he says this on the phone I ignore him and then he says, "Yea she just heard me say that and she doesn't look like she cares..." And to be quite honest I don't. I get more mad than anything, it is so selfish to want to keep me all the time and to attempt to make me feel bad for seeing my own mother. Just now I was leaving to my moms and he goes, "I'm gonna say it, why so much time with mom?" I told him I'm spending my usual two days at her house and then left but i regret saying this so much. Why didn't I say more? I want to bring up the topic with my Dad but I don't know if I should text him about it while this subject is still somewhat fresh or wait till i get back to my Dad's tomorrow to talk about it in person? I'm reluctant to talk about it in person because I may choke up or cry but I know it is what most people suggest. How should I bring this up with my Dad and what should I say? I'm so angry about it 'I'm not sure how to bring it up civilly.

It isn't your job to reassure your dad that you love him for simply going to see your mom.

Any negative emotions he has regarding that is for him to take care of with a psychologist. What he is attempting to do is called hostile parenting or Parental alienation and it is very unhealthy for you. Ignore him or look up parental alienation syndrome and email him some links to the information you find.

It's too bad he is jealous of your relationship with your mother. You did not divorce either of your parents - they divorced each other. Regretfully, because of his childish behavior, you are stuck in the middle. You have to tell him how you feel. It sucks, because he should know better.