My current cituation...

I'll start from the beginning.. my ex girlfriend and I were dating 2years. We were best friends before we dated for a long time and we have "true love" something that u can't forget. And she joined the military I supported her through everything as she did for me. She completed boot camp and went to mct/combat training then to her mos training/job training. I visited her there then about a week and a half after I got back home she broke up with me saying she can't handle the pressure of being in a relationship currently. We continue to semi talk to each other. She finishes her mos training a month or two later comes home before being stationed. We have sex . And she tells me how she's caught feelings for another person while in her mos training but says it's. Nothing serious but grew to care about him because he's also a very good guy... and I tell her of a girl I've been talking to also back home but I knew it was only a friendship with her and nothing more knowing i still loved my ex and that my ex still loved me.

So I understood why she talked to him at the time I had thought. And we understood each other and had sex before she left to being stationed. And talked of making it work again possible. A week later she's dating the guy from her mos school. We still talk sometimes almost rarely only when she was breaking down and telling me of how much she still loves me. And maybe a month or two of the random calls or texts of how much she loves me she tells me something. And says I'll hate her and that she'll tell me later and I keep pressureing her to just tell me. And after we hang up I keep pressureing her to tell me. She eventually does and tell me she was raped in her mos training. And she didn't tell me this .. till 3 2 months later after it happened. And I am only left to assume why she did what she did. I believe after it happened to her she was scared and worried and the other guy was physically there for her and that's why she started to care about him and him for her. So to me that part is understandable except the part of not telling me but can also understand she was scared and I believe traumatized. So I can just try to understand.

And after she tells me about a week later tells me she can't do this anymore and we don't talk for a month, the next month one night she calls me she's pregnant with my baby and found out that night and not from mos because the time lines don't match up ffrom what happened, And that night she also tells me she's married the guy from her mos training after a night of drinking and marries him and said she regretted it since she did it. And she thought I had moved on with the girl I was talking to here which we are just friends, and tells me that she wanted to talk to me the whole month we didn't talk and her friend also showed me texts of her saying that she regretted everything and thought I moved on. Anyways she tells me all this that we're pregnant really and she's married and she can't divorce because she lied to her supperioirs that her and this guy had been dating for awhile before getting married, and she was trying to find ways to get divorced but nothing that would let her without being demoted or dishonorable discharged. We talk like as if we were dating again and then one day she doesn't respond and I worry and next day she tells me she had gone with him to his grandparents because they were sick.

And then tells me that she can't do this again and that he was moving in that day and they were moving in together and that she was gonna Make them work because she's stuck in the marriage till she can leave the military almost 3 years. Which I try to understand. She doesn't want to get her record to say she was kicked out and be screwed the rest of her life with searching for work. And also said he asked her to respect him also if she's gonna make it work with him which she is only to talk to me about the baby and nothing else... she tells him also about the pregnancy and doesn't phase him. She says he truly loves her and I'm sure he does... and she says she cares about him also which I believe is because he was there through horrible times with her and he was physically there.. so began to actually care about him. Right after she tells me of her pregnancy till she told me that she wants them to make it work she tells me of how she can't love him or become in the level of true love were on and that she wishes she'd get deployed so she wouldn't be by him. But they're gonna make it work, which I believe is compelety of that she's stuck 3 years and might as well make it work. And do believe if I was there there'd be no question as to who she'd want to be with.

She told what's it gonna change if I go there . I believe she saying this because she wants me to finish school and to continue on with my life here so I don't stop my life and put it on hold. Her and my parents know nothing of any of this also and she's trying to get leave/vacation for Christmas to come and we were gonna tell them everything together. And since she had told me I was looking up of moving by her. Cost of living is very expensive there and I don't have a complete degree yet. My gut tells me to go there and try to take care of her and be there for her after Christmas and not continue school and to work over there and finish school also there. I've been trying to talk to her but nothing.. this entire time I do believe she wants to be with me and I want to be with her and work through all of this. The connection we have , it's not explainable. And her family this entire breakup keeps on inviting me over to eat and know they love me. I do believe they would agree with my thinking besides my mom she'd want me to finish school I believe..

I do believe my current ex would work through all of this with me but hasn't had a clear thinking mind in awhile and needs other people like her family to agree with me to make her realize everything. And end of December would mean 5 more months to go and can't stand the thought of him being there for her and to even be by the baby. And me not being there for her but don't know what would happen if I would end up moving there either. And another thing I've completely based my emotions around this girl somehow and anything in life feels meaningless and completely emotionless to me besides when it's about her then I have a purpose again otherwise don't feel anything. And went to eap for this problem of my emotions but didn't help. I feel as if I need her and I still want her and can forgive everything.. not sure what I'm looking for I guess as an answer maybe some advice, what would u do in my cituation, what should I do right now even, what can I say, what could I do, anything really.

Thill754...Please break this down into paragraphs, where you'll receive more replies.

Sorry about that and will do first time seeking advice and using this website.

Sorry I won't read your post until it's got paragraphs in it.

Working on it

Can't seem to edit this. Will submit it again when I can

Don't put your life on hold for her. She is not putting her life on hold for you. Follow through with school at your current location. Get a paternity test ASAP. This is a crappy situation, and I'm sorry that you are going through it. But don't forget yourself and go to pieces.

Unfortunately she's married to someone else and is not even sure the baby is yours. It really doesn't matter what her or your family thinks about it. It's up to her at this point.

she calls me she's pregnant with my baby and found out that night and not from mos because the time lines don't match up ffrom what happened, And that night she also tells me she's married the guy from her mos training. she says she cares about him they're gonna make it work