He is not who I thought he was

I have been dating this guy for a little under 6 months. He seemed to be the perfect man. He had a degree, a career (so i thought), lived alone (so i thought), no social networks (so i thought), was super sweet, romantic and kind.

It was a breath of fresh air because i have been in nothing but awful back to back failed situations and relationships.

As time went by the truth about him started to come out like for example the career i thought he had wasnt actually what he is doing. He has a decent job so idk why he lied about that part. He originally told me he lived alone come to find out his mom lives there too he told me he just "let her stay there". He told me he had no social networks then admitted he did have them but "doesnt use it like that". When i asked him for his name on these social networks he said he deleted it now.

Although i chose to forgive and look past these lies it fed into my insecurity which made me question a lot of things with him. Last week we got into an argument because i felt he didn't make much time for me. I said mean things in the argument like "im not happy and i dont wanna be with you" but it was the heat of the moment and actually really did want to find a solution and work things out so i genuinly apologized to him. He told me he wanted to work things out as well but since then he doesn't call anymore and responds to text every few hours.

And now hes been ignoring me since yesterday morning. I called and texted him to tell him im feeling a bit depressed and just want someone to talk to .. He ignored. Didn't say a word. He claims to love me how he can he not be there for me ..

Sounds... Confusing.

He lied about his personal life which shouldnt make u feel like ur insecurities have anything to do with how u feel, ur right if u feel insecurity after this, who wouldnt. And now hes acting distant.

If you really want this, u might have to wait and see..

He might be a Narcissist or a Sociopath. They both are pathological liars and will tell you anything at the beginning to make themselves look good. They are all about themselves and don't care about anyone else's feelings but their own. Google traits of sociopaths, lying about a career and job, major life things is a trait. Also, just ignoring like you that, when you don't serve them anymore they will discard you and move on to someone else who they can use for whatever reasons, sex, a place to live, transportation etc. I know because i was with one for 5 years. Be on guard and be cautious, you don't want to get hurt. Knowledge is power.

Sorry you have had a rough time in the dating world. Been there, done that. But you can't let that blind you by hanging onto this liar. His lies are BIG lies. You cannot trust him, if he lies about his work and his living arrangements. So sorry this happened to you. You should not have to beg a liar for forgiveness or beg him to talk to you. Get out while you can. Sorry if I sound harsh, but this man isn't worth your time.

Sorry you have had a rough time in the dating world. Been there, done that. But you can't let that blind you by hanging onto this liar. His lies are BIG lies. You cannot trust him, if he lies about his work and his living arrangements. So sorry this happened to you. You should not have to beg a liar for forgiveness or beg him to talk to you. Get out while you can. Sorry if I sound harsh, but this man isn't worth your time.

Thank you so much. It really killed my spirit cause I was really convinced I finally found someone great. But i guess nothing is ever what it seems.

Sorry to hear this. Some flakes out there are clever liars. 6 mos is an awfully long time to be together and not know who he lives with or what he does for a living, no? What was his agenda with all these lies? Getting sex by pumping up his job and lying about living with mommy.

It would be best never to forgive and forget such gigantic red flags as being a pathological liar and surely you've only uncovered the tip of the iceberg. Try not to be blinded by checklists or afraid to google when in doubt.

To be honest he's not making time for you because, given his track record, he's probably lying about a whole bunch of things like perhaps seeing others.

End it with him, he's bad news. Then go no contact and block him from everything to help you heal and move on from this creep. You can do much better than this liar.

6 months.the career i thought he had wasnt actually what he is doing. come to find out his mom lives there too.Last week we got into an argument because i felt he didn't make much time for me.

Sorry to hear.... been there too

People like this can be awful.. toxic and it hurts! You're left overwhelmed & bewildered about their life & lies.. and wonder.. why?

Best to back off.. and stay away. Walk.. keep walking.

If someone feels a 'need' to lie about so much of their Life.. they're gonna lie throughout it all.

Be glad you've figured these things out now- within 6 mos.. that the 'real him' is surfacing and you dodged a bullet!

Say goodbye to this one. When in situations like this, ask yourself:

if your bff or sister were telling you these things about some guy, how would you feel and respond?

Do you think your dad or grandpa treated your mom or grandma like this during courtship? can you imagine anyone treating your mom or grandma like this?

Sorry to hear this. Some flakes out there are clever liars. 6 mos is an awfully long time to be together and not know who he lives with or what he does for a living, no? What was his agenda with all these lies? Getting sex by pumping up his job and lying about living with mommy.

 

It would be best never to forgive and forget such gigantic red flags as being a pathological liar and surely you've only uncovered the tip of the iceberg. Try not to be blinded by checklists or afraid to google when in doubt.

 

To be honest he's not making time for you because, given his track record, he's probably lying about a whole bunch of things like perhaps seeing others.

 

End it with him, he's bad news. Then go no contact and block him from everything to help you heal and move on from this creep. You can do much better than this liar.

Totally agree.

He knows he got busted, and it's game over. I'm sorry this happened, but when something seems too good to be true, it usually is.

Lesson learned...

He's probably lying about many other things too, OP. This isn't you being insecure. It's you heeding some serious red flags.

Why would you want to find a solution with a guy like this? There is something very off about him, and I have a feeling there is still a lot you don't know about him. How much time did you actually spend together? I take it you never met his friends, because he claimed to not have any. You should run for the hills, because what is really happening is that he is hiding you.

If you were to dig deeper, I imagine you would discover he's got a whole other life you know nothing about.

I understand. It stinks and it hurts. But trust is imperative in any relationship. These are not little "white lies". I wish I could say otherwise, just running with what my gut tells me. Usually when you are in it, it is hard to see the forest through the trees. Good luck.

Although i chose to forgive and look past these lies ...

Big mistake. I can only speak for myself, but I'd never 'overlook' multiple instances of lying. Maybe I'd pass on some minor fib that I may have misunderstood or misheard, but lying is not something anyone does 'by accident'. It's an actual and deliberate attempt to deceive you.

So what's to trust after that, exactly? ...Ever.

Skip begging the guy, and skip him. Period.

Someone mentioned that he may be a narcissist or sociopath and I agree. I dated a sociopath before and he had the same behaviors. Come to find out he was dating so many women at the same time as me. Lied about every stupid thing. Just block him and move past this. It won't be easy. Take time for yourself, these types really do a number on the psyche. Do not get sucked back in with this one.

Thank you all. Currently moving on and never looking back!!!