really want to contact him

I split from boyfriend 3 months ago. It was mutual as after 3 years we knew it wasn't working. We were good friends and no animosity. I said at the time we should cut all ties to make it easier for both of us, and then somewhere down the line we would be friends if possible.

All was good until I reactivated my FB page only to find his name come up (he used to hate facebook). I immediately had heart palpitations and was terrified of possibly seeing him with someone else so deactivated my account again - (I have no knowledge if he is with someone or not).

I made him a whatsapp but didn't send it. I just wanted him to know I miss talking to him and am terrified of seeing him with someone else.

Since the split I gave up drinking and never go out, so see no one.

1. Should I contact him?

2. Why does the thought of him with someone else hurt so much?

3. I used to tell him everything and we were such good friends - should I just get over this?

Thank you

Marie

Being friends with him isn't going to work for many reasons. 1. It will prevent closure. 2. Your future bf won't accept it and it will ruin that relationship. 3. When he gets a new gf and puts you on the back burner, you will be hurt all over again. Do your parents, or any longterm couples you know have exes who they hang out with and communicate with? I highly doubt it.

Being a hermit isn't going to help. If you don't have a hobby/interest, get one. Join a gym, or do volunteer work. Spend time with girlfriends. Take classes for fun or to further your career. Join meetups.com

Having a fulfilling life besides a man is crucial anyway. That way, if the relationship ends, you still have a a fun, enriching life. And within a relationship, you are a more interesting person who doesn't make him the center of your universe when you have stuff going on besides him. Take care.

Thank you for your reply.

I don't work at the moment but I do volunteer for two animal charities and I'm taking two college courses, but that only takes up 2.5 days a week, the rest of the time I'm alone with my dog.

My parents divorced over 20 years ago and have never said one word to each other since. don't see them as a good example.

I suppose I'm just feeling lonely at the moment and dreading the day when I inevitably find out he has met someone new.

thanks

Do you want to sort things ? I think three months is a good time apart . Lifes to short i think you should contact him if you want to reconcile. If you dont then i would just leave it

I don't want to reconcile, just want my friend back - but I suppose that's not possible.

Make sure he is blocked and removed from contact lists on all your social media so he doesn't show up in the "people you may know" section.

Do not tell him you are terrified of his moving on. Telling him that will not effect or change that. He's no longer your confidant. It's ok to feel this but share that with friends, family and people you confide in.

I just wanted him to know I miss talking to him and am terrified of seeing him with someone else.

Thank you - I know you are right, even if he feels the same