Setting goals

I've grew up in a poor family and all of that made me very humble, not wanting much, not asking for more, not being spoiled and stuff like that. But I've never been satisfied with all that. I don't want to settle for this level like my father and grandfather settled. Now that I'm grown I feel like I should take matter into my own hands. My problem is: i never really had a goal for my own future I just "went with the flow" and hoped for things to get better, which is a bad thing. But right now I've actually made a decision on not settling for some regular job that pays me small amounts of money. I've started reading about success, wealth and stuff like that and I've started visualizing, I've heard it all helps at making actions towards my goals.

I'm wondering If any of you who are having goals or actually achieved some goals they always wanted to achieve could give this begginer some tips?

Never give up.

I'm wondering If any of you who are having goals or actually achieved some goals they always wanted to achieve could give this begginer some tips?

Make your goal concrete. What I mean is "I want to be rich" is a really vague goal and therefore not achievable.

I am going to build up an acme corp and sell it for $$$$ and retire is a concrete goal you can achieve.

Once you have the big concrete goal in place, you break it down into hundreds or even thousands of little, daily goals that you pursue and work out how to achieve and then achieve. Keep in mind that between goal a and goal b, it's not a straight line. You will have failures, mistakes, set backs, etc. It's all about grinding through, learning your lessons and carrying on. Most people visualize a straight shot, so when hit with a winding road, filled with frustrations and set backs, they quit. Some people do not learn from their mistakes so they keep doing the wrong thing, sticking with blind perseverance, so they don't succeed either. You have to be very aware of learning and knowing that when something is not working as you imagined, you need to change your approach, rethink what you are doing, adjust. Adjusting does not meaning giving up or quitting, it is adjusting so you get to your end goal.

Basically, what are you really good at, what is your core strength? What can you do with that? Go and do it. The stuff that you don't know how to do, find people who are really good at doing that and let them do that.

Know your talents, and work on them. Everyone has a talent of some kind.

Small, solid, manageable steps. Clear goals like DancingFool says. Do not fall for instant gratification. During the early stages, if you are working under others or with others, there may be a period of "proving yourself" or you may feel that there is. Please always remember to invest in yourself as well. That is never give 100% of your energy to a company. Always save some for yourself where you are receiving more training or education or qualitifcations if necessary. Today's compettive work places are prone to using everything people can give to them but are not very loyal when you run out of energy or individual sources. So, never forget to look after yourself well professionally and add to yourself as much as (or nearly as much as, realistically) you add to these places.

A lot of companies across the world do Myers-Briggs - though some people think it's bull. Through Myers-Briggs or some human resources test, you can idenitfy your strengths as a worker, your working style, your management style, your conflic resolution style etc. This can show you where your strengths are and which areas you need to improve or maybe change.

Be ready to be accountable. When you make a mistake etc, don't beat yourself over this and don't be too afraid to make mistakes. You can think about these instances as "critical incidents", go over them in your mind and review what you could have done differently. Share these with whoemever you are working with and I believe you will gain a lot of respect in your work life.

I agree Zeino.

"Always save some for yourself where you are receiving more training or education or qualitifcations if necessary."

Think outside the box.

Thank you all for your shared wisdom. There's a long journey ahead of me. I always used to see my future as not so bright, but now I'm motivated to prove myself that I'm capable of acomplishing great things

Here's a list of self made men from quite humble and/or difficult beginnings. Very inspiring.

I'm motivated to prove myself that I'm capable of acomplishing great things

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Here's a list of self made men from quite humble and/or difficult beginnings. Very inspiring.

Them and many others who made it from the bottom. Nothing's impossible

Brutal, what's your education and preferred area of work may I ask? many people here may have experienced different sectors, changing sectors, many an economical crises, so maybe people would share experiences with you?

Brutal, what's your education and preferred area of work may I ask? many people here may have experienced different sectors, changing sectors, many an economical crises, so maybe people would share experiences with you?

Currently I'm at University. I'm studying foreign languages, mostly English. And I kind of don't wanna be stuck somewhere translating for someone for the rest of my life after that

My two cents. You can do a lot of things with a foreign languages diploma as it gives you lots of general skills that they tend to call transferable skills nowadays. It also makes you a key worker in international business like a sort of bridge between cultures and nations. So, that's one pathway always open to you. One of my friends, who is an English teacher, made lots of money, like heaps of it by working as a negotiator in textile. She would buy textiles from Italy for companies in the Middle East and get a percentage. Again, international property and estate (in addition to estate management) can offer big opportunities, goes from arranging deals and property management all the way up to finding investors in construction - and having lots of business deals by the beach Hospitality, stuff like guest relations in international chains. The Oil and Gas sector in the Middle East is always lucratious. There are publications for instance that employ people as interns, send them to interviews etc with companies and they learn to be analysts. (these people do not reside there, just spend some months and earn really lots of money.They make their money out of sector advertisement.) Plus these experiences always look impressive on your CV. Same for teaching etc in aviation, airlines or educational institutions of airlines. In all these you can find yourself as a consultant of some sort in your career. These are the interesting, trade-related things that came to my mind. I think at one point you would need to study something business oriented for more solid steps but I would say do not do this right after you graduate. I think post-grad always yields better results in money-related areas when you have a bit of experience under your belt. And sometimes companies choose to finance that as well. In individual work, I know people from similar backgrounds turning to life-coaching and that seems to be pretty good too with lots of independence. And corporate training. You can do so many things starting with a languages diploma if you decide to make good use of it.

What kind of things do you have in your mind and what do you think your personal strengths are (if you want to carry on with the convo of course)?

My two cents. You can do a lot of things with a foreign languages diploma as it gives you lots of general skills that they tend to call transferable skills nowadays. It also makes you a key worker in international business like a sort of bridge between cultures and nations. So, that's one pathway always open to you. One of my friends, who is an English teacher, made lots of money, like heaps of it by working as a negotiator in textile. She would buy textiles from Italy for companies in the Middle East and get a percentage. Again, international property and estate (in addition to estate management) can offer big opportunities, goes from arranging deals and property management all the way up to finding investors in construction - and having lots of business deals by the beach Hospitality, stuff like guest relations in international chains. The Oil and Gas sector in the Middle East is always lucratious. There are publications for instance that employ people as interns, send them to interviews etc with companies and they learn to be analysts. (these people do not reside there, just spend some months and earn really lots of money.They make their money out of sector advertisement.) Plus these experiences always look impressive on your CV. Same for teaching etc in aviation, airlines or educational institutions of airlines. In all these you can find yourself as a consultant of some sort in your career. These are the interesting, trade-related things that came to my mind. I think at one point you would need to study something business oriented for more solid steps but I would say do not do this right after you graduate. I think post-grad always yields better results in money-related areas when you have a bit of experience under your belt. And sometimes companies choose to finance that as well. In individual work, I know people from similar backgrounds turning to life-coaching and that seems to be pretty good too with lots of independence. And corporate training. You can do so many things starting with a languages diploma if you decide to make good use of it.

 

What kind of things do you have in your mind and what do you think your personal strengths are (if you want to carry on with the convo of course)?

It all sounds great when you say it, but I have to consider the circumstances I'm in. I'm living in a country where it's hard getting the job If you don't have the connection. Thank you for showing me how it's not all only about translating. I finished Tourism high school (if that's how I can say it, it was about tourism and hospitality) so that might actually help me in the future since I've learned how to behave with clients and guests. But noone guarantees that I'll finish University successfully.

In my mind I was thinking about starting somewhere where I can be promoted, where I can always develop

Great post, Zeino.

I would agree Brutal that you shoud get that languages degree, but also study a parallel course in some aspect of business.

However, if you say that getting a job without connections, perhaps once you have your degree(s) you might contemplate moving abroad where there are better opportunities?

Great post, Zeino.

 

I would agree Brutal that you shoud get that languages degree, but also study a parallel course in some aspect of business.

 

However, if you say that getting a job without connections, perhaps once you have your degree(s) you might contemplate moving abroad where there are better opportunities?

I would have to wait to get languages degree first. I't already expensive enough. It will definatelly make more chances for better opportunities

It all sounds great when you say it, but I have to consider the circumstances I'm in. I'm living in a country where it's hard getting the job If you don't have the connection. Thank you for showing me how it's not all only about translating. I finished Tourism high school (if that's how I can say it, it was about tourism and hospitality) so that might actually help me in the future since I've learned how to behave with clients and guests. But noone guarantees that I'll finish University successfully.

In my mind I was thinking about starting somewhere where I can be promoted, where I can always develop

Thank you for all the information you provided. I too come from a country where favoritism, nepotism, unadvertised jobs galore. We are shaken by a big financial crisis once a quarter and there is great job insecurity. Social support or welfare is a dream and university education is a way to cover hidden unemployment with graduates selling vegetables in market places. This has certain social consequences like families trying to support their children where the state doesn't which results a lot of pressure on young people. It's a mess really. I feel for the situation you are in, I have been there, too. But you can still carve out a satisfactory professional life for yourself. If you don't, others will do and believe me they will have nothing more spectacular than you. So why not you? It is about drive, I would say. Resilience. Never giving up as has already been said here. And a good balance of personal skills and job skills. But most importantly, a sound mental makeup where your determination stays at a good level most of the time. (It's a bit like playing competitive sports really). The initial experience is always hard, but believe me at one point you find a crack, an opportunity, enter from there and learn to navigate your way there. Then it becomes a reflex. Those negative things that may scare us at the beginning soon become normalized. Just keep your mind strong. Of course you will get disappointed sometimes, but you will experience success as well.

For finishing university, no one can guarantee that, yes. But then no one can guarantee that there won't be a disaster tomorrow. But you can do your best NOT to not finish it I don't see why you wouldn't if you take it step by step, do not miss daily work with a concrete plan. Keep your body and mind strong, a degree will follow. As long as you prioritize yourself and keep outside pressure where it belong (outside) you can do it. Unless university students are in a very very wrong field that requires very specific skills they don't have, failure is more related to other stuff which you can learn to detach from during your studies. Such lack if skill is not usually a case because with such a mismatch, you wouldn't be able to enter in the first place. Sometimes we all detest what daily work requires. Maybe thinking of it as some stupid stuff that will nevertheless open some opportunities helps.

You are right. Knowing how to work with people will always help you in the age of "clients" and "client satisfaction." I think it is also important not to underestimate yourself. Today's workplace, in countries like ours, does not encourage people a lot. If you have education they day you don't have experience. If you have experience,they say you don't have education. Obviously it is impossible to have both in the beginning and they will employ you anyway. (probably, they are just trying to keep the wages low Languages grads are not liked a lot by workers from other departments because you will be able to do their job at your required level without their diploma and you will also notice that a lot of people who take pride in speaking foreign languages will not be doing it that well However, if you remain modest and focus on your job, learning from everyone including people with lesser skills, you will be welcome in a workplace. At the same time, it's important not to underestimate yourself and be affirmative. Not passive, not aggressive but affirmative. That is not letting anyone walk over you but also not getting agitated in your mind, too. I would say developing a basic philosophy of life would help tremendously. I come from a difficult family where some emotional things were a bit wrong. This made me a mess in certain things, a weird mix of inner kind of confidence in terms of dealing with crises and certain types of trouble mixed with a lot of inconfidence in things I was pretty gooad at actually. A great fear of losing things unneccsarily - probably transferred from my toxic mother who is a severely traumatized person herself- with an urge to self-sabotage sometimes. Lots of covert emotional trouble that reflected on my life plans. The moment I started reading Bruce Lee (of all people!), worked on my emotional detachment, and started being "acting" instead of "reacting", my life started to improve. I also humbly discovered that certain things my toxic parent foresaw were unfortunately true, though lots of it was bull and unnecessary negativity.

So whenever you feel negative about something, please remind yourself that it may not even be an authentic feeling, but something learnt from a parent, a society, a web of circumstances. Your authentic self can replace that with courage and strength and determination. Get rid of all the negativity imposed on you by anything and anyone. That is probably someone else's understanding of life but they are not you and their circumstances were different. You don't have to be a Polyanna but you can be neutral, confident and then move from there to positivity.

As for the practical aspect, here is what I experienced. Usually we come across smaller workplaces that give us more responsibility and maybe bigger titles in the beginning and then also bigger places with probably lower wages but more training opportunities and a better institutional culture. I would personally opt for the latter in the beginning because it is easier to move to a smaller place with a bigger title later. It also looks better on a CV. It is harder to move to a bigger place afterward, especially with a useless title given by a no-name place.

With a languages background, I would try to enrich my skills later with a business skill later and not fear maths (if you have it). Certain things they pestered us with during earlier education become so easier later in life in this "business", seriously. (And more fun, as they are now connected with more real stuff.) Never judge your skills with what you could do or not in the past, don't be afraid of trying. Some things get so easy you would be surprised.

As for finding a job, never give up looking, there are always places in the market that look for individuals with a drive even if they don't have connections. (many of those "connections" workers can be useless and also hard to work with simply becaue of "connections" and companies know this. They always need real hardworking people, so at one point you will reach what you want.) Until then, never fear earning your life from something that doesn't sound wonderful. That also shows drive and is a proof that you are someone who is not beaten by circumstance.

Good luck to you.

Wow, thank you so much for this amazing advice. I'm glad you understand the circumstances of my country. I've actually spent last 3 months learning about our own psychology. I also came from messed up family, my father always had a short temper and would only "solve" things by being violent and my mother was always acting like a victim and still does to this day, she still cries when she can't get something she wants. I became aware of the stuff I picked up from them and I'm doing my best to change that. When something happens I want to react like the real me would react, not like my father or mother would react.

And you're also right about how I shouldn't judge myself. I always used to think I'm bad at math, but when I told myself: Maybe I'm not so bad at math I actually started doing better.

I don't really want to fully follow the system, but If I don't want to follow the system I'd have to grow balls for carving my own path

Wonderful post, Zeino. All of it.

"So whenever you feel negative about something, please remind yourself that it may not even be an authentic feeling, but something learnt from a parent, a society, a web of circumstances. Your authentic self can replace that with courage and strength and determination. Get rid of all the negativity imposed on you by anything and anyone. That is probably someone else's understanding of life but they are not you and their circumstances were different. You don't have to be a Polyanna but you can be neutral, confident and then move from there to positivity. "

We are living in troubled times, and the old "certainties" (if they ever were that) have gone.

One of the best peices of advice I can give you is read the book- Awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robbins ...that will really help you figure out your goals and be able to achieve them...

In one year this guy turned from being a janitor to a multi millionaire and mentor to some of the worlds most successful people, presidents, kings, famous athletes etc...