Well I did it. I broke up with my girlfriend. And I feel..

Horrible. Like a dreaded sad feeling, I had all the right reasons to do it though. She was manipulative, expected me to do everything, etc. I've been posting about our issues in the past with everyone backing me up.

I ended it tonight and she won't stop texting me saying she's freaking out, she doesn't want to lose me, and she wants to keep working on this. I don't know how to handle all this I feel like she means what she says, but it's her second nature to be manipulative and she doesn't even realize it when she is being one. Also her second nature to give me attitude all the time when we're together.

I've been dating her for a year and 10 months now, but I feel horrible, sad, and just over all bad.

Is this normal? What should I do?

Tell her no, that you are not interested in working on it. It will be hard, but remember how she's treated you. Don't feel you need to continue responding to her, either.

The way you are feeling is normal. Even when we have good reasons to end a relationship, it's not pleasant. You will feel sad for a little while but you will soon realize that you actually feel better that you're not dealing with the toxicity anymore.

It is normal. No one feels good after a breakup and it's very normal to have doubts. Now is the time where you have to lead with a very logical mind and ignore the wave of emotions. The emotions mean you will miss her, you had feelings etc emotions are not a sign to get back together. My last break up I went through the same thing...I saw the red flags, I broke up with him and I was so so sad. After 7 weeks of sadness and doubt we got back together. Lasted another 6 months until it ended disastrously. And I have no one to blame but myself because I knew, I just knew it wasn't right.

It's normal. You deal with those emotions you're having and sooner or later, when your mind clears, you'd be able to reflect back on that and feel good about yourself for putting a stop to it

Very normal to feel the way you do, and it's mostly because you had to break up for your own well being, you didn't do it because you fell out of love with her. It will hurt for a while, but remember you had a very good reason to do what you did and that in the end you'll be much happier. I would suggest you block her on all avenues she may try and reach out to you, not to be mean but so you don't have to see her messages and give her the opportunity to manipulate you some more. She is doing her best to make you feel bad, probably because she knows you have a good heart and that if you feel bad enough, you might end up giving her another chance. Don't let her do this to you, you would be only prolonging your suffering and postponing the inevitable.

It is normal. No one feels good after a breakup and it's very normal to have doubts. Now is the time where you have to lead with a very logical mind and ignore the wave of emotions. The emotions mean you will miss her, you had feelings etc emotions are not a sign to get back together. My last break up I went through the same thing...I saw the red flags, I broke up with him and I was so so sad. After 7 weeks of sadness and doubt we got back together. Lasted another 6 months until it ended disastrously. And I have no one to blame but myself because I knew, I just knew it wasn't right.

I agree.

Last week I ended a 2 year relationship as I wasn't happy and it was very unhealthy.

Going no contact is difficult, but it's what you have to do.

Keep reminding yourself of the reasons why you ended it, put yourself first.

It's ok to be upset, to cry and feel a mix of emotions (I'm in the same boat), but NC would be useful for you both.

I was in the same position as Charity and me and my ex had an on and off relationship for 2 years and I just wish I had the courage to end it the first time and leave it be. You will feel much happier in the long run.

Breakups are never fun. As long as you sincerely explained why it can't go on you can rest assured you handled it ok. It would be best to explain that it's over for good and no contact is the best course of action. Then block her on all platforms.

Make sure with a clinger like this that you are crystal clear and don't use mitigating language like staying friends or just space or a break or whatever.

I ended it tonight and she won't stop texting me saying she's freaking out, she doesn't want to lose me, and she wants to keep working on this.

She is playing her role just as perfectly as you are playing your role. Please search for the Continuum of Self and see that if you return, you will never be able to become who you were meant to become. It is so hard to trust yourself when you're dealing with manipulative people. You are doing good things for yourself. Please please please keep it up!

This -

She was manipulative

Equals this -

I ended it tonight and she won't stop texting me saying she's freaking out, she doesn't want to lose me, and she wants to keep working on this.

 

Is this normal? What should I do?

Yep its normal for manipulative people to react when others take control. Dont fall for it.

As already stated above, she is just being who she is - manipulative. Remember this is exactly why you dumped her.

Yeah, it will feel bad for awhile and then it won't feel like much and then you'll look back and kick yourself for wasting 10 months of your life on her and be glad it wasn't longer.

Anyway, there is no reason for you to continue to tolerate her barrage of bs. Tell her that you meant what you said, it's really over, she better accept it and if she doesn't quit bothering you, you will have no choice but to block her....and if she doesn't quit after that, do it. If there is unfinished business in terms of her getting her stuff, then just tell her to knock it off and turn off your phone for awhile. Most definitely do not keep talking to her. When you respond, people like her take that as encouragement to carry on even if the response is a negative one. Any response is treated as encouragement, so once you've told you meant about being done, stop responding. I don't care if she tells you that her house is on fire. She needs to call the fire department, NOT you.

It's good to look at where you've been before the break-up. Since she has been manipulative, you may ask yourself, "do I really want to continue being manipulated?". There is way too many opportunities in this world and you can find the love that you cherish. Block her completely and get busy doing what you love and sooner that later you will feel good about yourself.