Boyfriend has no motivation and i am beginning to feel stuck

I've been thinking about this for a while now, and it's really starting to worry me. I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now. I love him a lot, but his behaviour and personality lately has made me realize that i may still love him, but i'm not too sure if i am in love with him anymore, or at least as much as i used to be. It upsets me because he loves me more than anything, I am his whole entire world, he tells me everyday that he does not know what he would do without me, and that i'm the reason he gets out of bed, he doesn't know what he did to deserve me. Which almost makes me feel selfish if i we're to end our relationship. He does have depression, it is a lot better than it used to be, but his lack of motivation worries me. He used to work lots, and school wasn't too much of an issue. Now, he barely goes to school, he is 100% not graduating, he barely works, and often he will call in sick and not go to work. He smokes weed every day, and complains to not have any money, yet when he does, he spends it all on weed. I was paying for all of his food at the beginning for months, but i stopped doing that now, maybe it would make him realize he needs to save or stop calling in work, but no his bank account is still always empty. I'm not a girl who expects to be showered in gifts, but he never takes me out for dinner, we can't even split dinner because he has no money. We have never been out on a date, because he never has any money. Not even to pay for the both of us, but just for himself. We'll go out with friends and he is always the one who buys nothing because he has no money. I can't spend all of my money on him it's just not right, and it won't help him in the future if he is used to always getting money, and the second he gets payed it goes towards the debt he owes people and then weed. I want to go out on dates, i want to do things other than stay at our houses and watch movies. It's not that he doesn't care, he tells me how he is worried for the future and doesn't know what to do, but I try to tell him how he can fix things and he simply can't. It's hard when i am always working and doing homework since i already know i want to go into law, yet he won't graduate high school. He does nothing but sit at home and wait for me to not be busy, or we'll have plans for the night after he gets off work and he'll cancel work so he can see me sooner, yet i had things to do while he was at work? There are just so many simple solutions to his complaints. He could stop calling in sick, and make money, he could could stop buying so much weed; he is able to go cold turkey without any problems. I hate when he is on his computer looking at all these watches and shoes and complaining about how he wants them, yet does not do anything about it. He never wants to hang out with his friends, he always picks me over them and it makes me feel bad whe I want to be with my friends. Am i selfish at all for wanting him to change? I love him and i want him to be successful but all these things worry me so much, and he loves me more than words can describe and i have no idea what would happen to him if I ended our relationship, our relationship has good times, but a lot of times it just makes me upset and miserable. I have no idea what to do

Unfortunately he won't change. He sounds like a lazy pothead and parasite who is suffocating you. He is very manipulative using guilt to monopolize all your time and get you to spend money on him.

It sounds like you are incompatible and after a year of this it may be time to find someone who won't bring you down with his addictions and move on. How old is he?

He smokes weed every day, and complains to not have any money, yet when he does, he spends it all on weed. I was paying for all of his food at the beginning for months.We have never been out on a date, because he never has any money. he won't graduate high school.

You don't realize it now, but you are two completely different people, with different goals and aspirations. If, or rather when, you get into law school you will have even less time to spend with him. Furthermore you will be introduced to a social circle that he will likely not fit into. You will meet smart ambitious, and more like-minded people. You will begin to drift from him, and probably grow further apart. It is better that you recognize this now before he becomes more dependent on you, and you develop stronger feelings. Find someone who shares you dreams, and raises you up instead of dragging you down.

Depression is a serious disease. What kind of treatment plan is he following and what is your relationship action plan for depressive periods? I'm asking because some of these things here may be due to depression (almost all sound very typical) and that disorder needs to be stabilized before he can function at a better level.

The meetings with Mary Jane could be having an effect on his motivation:

"Although cannabis is commonly thought to reduce motivation, this is the first time it has been reliably tested and quantified using an appropriate sample size and methodology," said Dr. Will Lawn (UCL Clinical Psychopharmacology), lead author of the study, in a statement.

 

Previous research has found excessive pot use stifles motivation via the decrease of dopamine levels in the striatum, a brain region that functions as part of the reward system. Dopamine acts as a "motivation molecule" by enhancing concentration, boosting mood, and has a pro-social effect. Lower dopamine levels have been linked to users who meet diagnostic criteria for cannabis abuse or dependence.

Boyfriend has no motivation and i am beginning to feel stuck

All adult relationship being 100% voluntary, you're not stuck. You're just choosing to stick around someone who's uninspiring instead of chalking him up to be a bad match. So the question becomes, why do that?

This dude is holding you back. Leave him and find your equal. He's way below.

He is setting you up to be the 'Bad guy'... and from it sounds like he has done that already. If you break up with him, you will have 100% of all the blame because he has given you no reason to break up with him. Of course that is complete Bull.

You are in a dead end relationship and you are enabling him to continue to be this way. You are thinking by being there, you could possibly motivate him to do better, but by being there you are allowing him to do exactly the same thing everyday. In other words: He has no incentive to progress. This is not your fault. It takes two to be in a relationship and you are not happy so why dont you get out of the relationship?

Dont worry about blame or whos fault it is because there is none. You two are on different paths and you have to be on your own rather than jumping onto his. Let him go so he can grow up.