Why do women go back to there exes?

I'd been talking to this woman for over a month and we spend some time together. I received a text from her a few days ago saying that an ex boyfriend had reappeared and she felt she "owed" him another chance. I was pretty upset and torn up as I really like her but I've been through so much heartbreak this year it isn't a surprise. While it really eats away at my mind constantly I wonder why do women go back? What. Luke she of meant by she owed him that? I've been really sad and down because I feel like I wasn't good enough. We connected really well and then I was just dropped. Since this whole thing I have stopped chasing women entirely.

Both sex's go back cause they know what they get with that person. They also think things will change. It's like asking why does someone stay in a relationship wayyyy to long.

Sorry to hear this. It stinks to get caught in the middle of confused people's nonsense. In this case it sounds like an on/off thing and she started talking to other guys during the off time or a "break".

Whatever excuse she used like "owing him this" is just extraneous nonsense to justify dropping someone she just started dating when this dude showed up.

Don't let this dis courage you, sometimes you are bound to run into flakes like this. Did she mention him or any other relationship history?

I received a text from her a few days ago saying that an ex boyfriend had reappeared and she felt she "owed" him another chance.

Both sex's go back cause they know what they get with that person. They also think things will change. It's like asking why does someone stay in a relationship wayyyy to long.

Do things change?

Sorry to hear this. It stinks to get caught in the middle of confused people's nonsense. In this case it sounds like an on/off thing and she started talking to other guys during the off time or a "break".

 

Whatever excuse she used like "owing him this" is just extraneous nonsense to justify dropping someone she just started dating when this dude showed up.

 

Don't let this dis courage you, sometimes you are bound to run into flakes like this. Did she mention him or any other relationship history?

No we never talked about it. When I've talked to women I usually don't get into that right up front. I didn't think she was talking to anyone else. When I didn't hear from her all day one day I knew something was going on though. It's hard when you think someone is different and they end up being exactly the same

Agree it's not first date material, but at some point try to get some info on recent past relationships.

You don't want to bother with someone who hopped on a dating app an hour after a fight with a bf and sadly, they are out there. we never talked about it. When I've talked to women I usually don't get into that right up front.

Do things change?

Not likely. But people can go back and forth for years and years. You're probably best to move on. She made her choice, let her live with it, don't be an option.

Agree it's not first date material, but at some point try to get some info on recent past relationships.

 

You don't want to bother with someone who hopped on a dating app an hour after a fight with a bf and sadly, they are out there.

 

That's a good point

Not likely. But people can go back and forth for years and years. You're probably best to move on. She made her choice, let her live with it, don't be an option.

You are right. She's a very smart woman, I just don't get it. In my opinion if someone changes to the extent that you left them then are they really themselves or is it just an act. You left them for I would think a valid reason the first time so put yourself through it again.

You are right. She's a very smart woman, I just don't get it. In my opinion if someone changes to the extent that you left them then are they really themselves or is it just an act. You left them for I would think a valid reason the first time so put yourself through it again.

Because we think with our brains, but feel with our heart, and sometimes they get out of sync.

And if you really want to know, she more than likely likes him better than you. Women just hate to say those things, because we hate to hear them. But it is almost always the truth in these situations. Sorry.

Possibly intellectually smart, Kfred, but the emotional intelligence is possibly not too high. There is a difference.

It never ceases to amaze how people get back into the boxing ring even if they are battered and bruised (virtually) and even after a KO.

They probably can't explain it themselves.

There is a chance this may have just been her way of letting you down gently, without having to give you any further explanations as to why she was choosing to end things with you.

Because we think with our brains, but feel with our heart, and sometimes they get out of sync.

 

And if you really want to know, she more than likely likes him better than you. Women just hate to say those things, because we hate to hear them. But it is almost always the truth in these situations. Sorry.

Obviously she likes him better. She wouldn't of gone back if she didn't

Also, she could be hooked or addicted. It's a common enough syndrome.

There is a chance this may have just been her way of letting you down gently, without having to give you any further explanations as to why she was choosing to end things with you.

Could of been. The truth hurts

Also, she could be hooked or addicted. It's a common enough syndrome.

Please explain

Hooked on the previous person. It happens.

Hooked on the previous person. It happens.

That's what I'm thinking. Like I said she felt she owed it to him to give him a chance

Possibly she thinks HE will give her a chance.

Addictive love...and all that.

Possibly she thinks HE will give her a chance.

 

Addictive love...and all that.

I really don't know. As bad as it sounds I hope it doesn't work out. Not to say I would give her a chance- I really have no idea.

There's a saying :

"Man is the only animal that stumbles twice over the same stone".

again and again.

"Man is the only animal that stumbles twice over the same stone".

]

I truly love you so much, Wiseman!

Well. Besides the penguin and man that stumble over stones! 😂😂

I think OP it's a sense of familiarity they used to remember being there but isn't anymore. Nobody likes to start all over on anything. So she probably thinks she can change the situation. Since she has only known you a month and him longer.

She will learn that going backwards won't get her anywhere and that is a lesson she must learn.

You are smart to not take her back if she comes crawling.

Lisa

Well. Besides the penguin and man that stumble over stones!

 

I think OP it's a sense of familiarity they used to remember being there but isn't anymore. Nobody likes to start all over on anything. So she probably thinks she can change the situation. Since she has only known you a month and him longer.

 

She will learn that going backwards won't get her anywhere and that is a lesson she must learn.

 

You are smart to not take her back if she comes crawling.

 

Lisa

Thanks. Your are right. Change is something humans have never been good with.