Time for growth

To anyone who reads this: I'm a 27 y.o. woman, a doctor, doing my third year of residency in a hospital.

In the past few years, I have been in survival mode. I would like to share some of the insights I got over this time.

In 2013 my then girlfriend broke up with me, and it was like my whole world fell apart. I had been single for the most part of my life, had my first r.s. when I was 23 and this ex was my second girlfriend. She was my everything and I trusted her blindly. We talked about moving in together. After about six months the fairy tale shattered before my eyes as she expressed her doubts. What follows is a painfully long breakup (around 5 months) with me not letting go and her not letting go either. After getting an acount here I decided to go no contact. The official broke up was in the same week I had to put two(!) of my pets to sleep, and my ex wasn't there at all.

Initially, it was my intention to 'win her back' by doing NC. Ofcourse it didnt work. Gradually I started living my life again. I graduated med school and took a six month break. Best decision I ever made. I started working out 3 to 4 times a week, eating healthy, looked more fit than ever.

By that time, I chose my specialty and started working in it. For the first year and a half or so, it was the best job ever. Although medical residency involves hard work I totally enjoyed it. By the fall of 2015 I started being really tired.. I had a new gf at the time but the rs went way too fast and crashed in winter 2015. I started working even more to cope.

2016 has been a rollercoaster year: I met a really great girl, she met someone else, i gave up on dating. I had a big exam to study for while still working, I passed it, my mother got health issues and my parents started having marriage difficulties..

By now I have been living on my own, didn't date in what seems like an eternity and the one thing in the world I loved the most, my sweet cat, died unexpectedly at age 2. My world shattered again.

Started working again.. But I am so empty. There is not an ounce of patience left for all the patients I treat, i listen to. I can't properly concentrate, I have emotional outburst, I am very tired all the time. I have nothing left to give.

I decided this might be what a burnout looks like. And I want to make some life changing decisions: I'm moving to a new place, and the new me will not be dependent on what her parents say. I want to have a home of my own where pets can play and where I live

My life the way I want it!

Maybe a chaotic explanation sorry, i'm so tired.

L.

Sometimes to build new house, you'd have to destroy the old building first. You are sick and tired of being sick and tired, go forth and breathe again.

Sounds like a rough couple of years, I can relate. Emotional turmoil, or really, turmoil of any kind in your life is the biggest and best motivation you have to improve yourself. I've seen it work for me, and I've seen it work for others right before my very eyes. When bad things happen all at once like it happened to you several times, and you are still able to cope somehow, it's a great thing. That's what struck me the most about your post. You have been able to cope pretty brilliantly thus far with all the things happening in your life, even so much so that you've finished med school and got a job as a doctor in your chosen specialty at the tender young age of 27. That's absolutely amazing, and you ought to give yourself credit. You are only 2 years older than me and you've managed to somehow accomplish a lifetime of work while I've done nothing but obtain a steady job.

I think moving to a new place will work wonders for you. If you are burnt out, maybe take some time off work. Is that an option for you? Do you have vacation time?

I vote for a vacation too.

Run away to some tropical island for a couple weeks and indulge yourself in some sunshine, rest, massages and good books.

Sorry for the rough time. I think most of us can relate.

It won't always be this way. Believe in it.

I only have two weeks of vacation up until february (we can take only two weeks per six months). I was thinking on saving them up for the holidays when I also am going to get my new pet so I can fully relax and enjoy her presence!

My own doctor recommended me a long work free period like in, at least a month. I'm contemplating that, but if I do that then my colleagues will have to work harder to compensate for my absence.. So I'm trying as hard as I can to keep up.. No idea how much longer that will be.

Today I'll try to leave work at 4p.m. Since I start at 7.30 am.

What a life..

It sounds like you aren't happy in general... like life on the outside affects your insides with every turn. I don't know that a two week vacation and a new pet, or a new girlfriend, is going to solve all your problems. Sounds like something deeper is at work. Perhaps consider a psychotherapist to get to the root.

It sounds like you aren't happy in general... like life on the outside affects your insides with every turn. I don't know that a two week vacation and a new pet, or a new girlfriend, is going to solve all your problems. Sounds like something deeper is at work. Perhaps consider a psychotherapist to get to the root.

I am seeing one since march of this year. She also thinks I need to move and take my new pet with me. Mainly because she thinks, and I kind of agree, that my home situation (with my parents) is patholgical. It was always the pet that kept me in that place.The moving seems crucial to get my life moving forward again.