Watching porn?

My bf and I have been in relationship for 5 months. I told him upfront, practically as soon as we got together, that the idea of him watching porn doesn't bother me, unless it's something questionable like gay porn or illegal. Everything else is fine by me and that he shouldn't feel compelled to clear his browser history when I'm around. It took three solid months before he felt comfortable enough to stop deleting his browser history, an awfully long amount of time which seemed kind of strange at the time. But whatever. Low and behold nothing changed, the earth didn't implode and never will. So fast-forward a week and I was talking with my girlfriends and when the subject of porn came up as it somehow does, it was really clear that the idea of their bfs jerking off to porn when they're not around is somewhat akin to the act of kicking a small puppy, completely unacceptable. They were shocked and appalled to learn that I allowed this kind of behavior. At that point it was really clear why he didn't exactly take my word right away. So for you girls and guys out there, would the idea of your SO getting off to porn upset you? Do they allow you to watch it? Also, why would girls be so against it?

It means you're comfortable and secure in yourself, your attitude is cool.

Your girlfriends are some-what stuck in the dark ages. Of course it's a preference thing, but comparing it to kicking a small puppy is ridiculous.

Porn is everywhere, Personally I don't see a problem, yet I have friends like yours that are very opposed to it.

If guys or girls want to watch porn, then they will watch porn. Why try to stop them.. (I think the same as you though, I don't tolerate illegal porn - or weird crazy fetish & creepy porn would turn me right off..),

Sometimes it's a good way to learn new things..

Team America: America Flip yeah!! America (sorry ... couldn't not, please don't judge, weak moment..)

Flip Yeah! haha

Flip Yeah! haha

Oh thank goodness... I didn't know how it would be received... us kiwi's are a bit - um special when it comes to humour

Most women don't like their partner looking at other women/porn. But some don't mind. That's just the way it 'tis.

I have no problem with my SO looking at porn. I do it on occasion as well. As long as it doesn't interfere with intimacy and our sex life, it's not a problem.

I was talking with my girlfriends and when the subject of porn came up as it somehow does, it was really clear that the idea of their bfs jerking off to porn when they're not around is somewhat akin to the act of kicking a small puppy, completely unacceptable. They were shocked and appalled to learn that I allowed this kind of behavior.

It's called you respect your boyfriend because you don't police him on what he does with his own body.

I wonder if your friends read 50 Shades of Grey or erotic novels. Maybe that should go according to their logic.

Good for you for breaking the cycle!

They were seriously appalled. Kinda weird

They were seriously appalled. Kinda weird

Well, its really none of their business. Why people feel the need to discuss this thing with friends is bizarre. You are opening yourself up for unnecessary judgement that is nothing more than arbitrary personal beliefs.

I've had only 1 relationship where it was a problem. Funny thing was I had no idea what incagnito mode was till she brought it up.

"They were shocked and appalled to learn that I allowed this kind of behavior."

Why are you discussing the intimate details of your relationship with a gaggle of girls?! TMI.

And I notice the word "allow" crept in. One doesn't place prohibitions. Such matters, like the one you raised, are strictly for discussion between you and him.

I was horrified that you seem to know what goes on with his browser to be honest .. how would you know if it cleared or not ! sounds like you are all talking about your pets

Oh thank goodness... I didn't know how it would be received... us kiwi's are a bit - um special when it comes to humour

 

all my cousins are kiwis. I understand..your humour is..flipped..since you're on the bottom hemisphere

Hello, OP. Scale of 1 - 10. How excited are you and your friends about Pumpkin Spice lattes coming back?

Hello, OP. Scale of 1 - 10. How excited are you and your friends about Pumpkin Spice lattes coming back?

ohh J , I am crying here

Hello, OP. Scale of 1 - 10. How excited are you and your friends about Pumpkin Spice lattes coming back?

I'll raise your Pumpkin Spice Latte with a pair of brown Uggs and Nike running shorts.

Perhaps these girls don't understand that a guy doesn't need their permission.

I allowed this kind of behavior. Do they allow you to watch it?

I also find it odd that you seem to look at browser history regularly.

Some people, have this attitude that watching porn is like "cheating". Especially if there is any self-love involved. Personally I think OP has the right attitude.

My BF told me that his ex had that attitude. Also, she didn't like the thought of him masturbating (with porn or not) as she felt that he shouldn't need to do that with her around. Not a healthy attitude IMO. I have also had ex boyfriends who expected me to be ok with their porn watching (I was), but they were not ok with me masturbating. They were controlling in other ways too, and incidently they were fairly selfish lovers. They never took an interest in getting me off, and then denied me the ability to get myself off (but they got off whenevrr they wanted with me or with porn, and that was ok in their minds). So I think a lot of it comes down to control issues.

My bf and I have been in relationship for 5 months. I told him upfront, practically as soon as we got together, that the idea of him watching porn doesn't bother me, unless it's something questionable like gay porn or illegal. Everything else is fine by me and that he shouldn't feel compelled to clear his browser history when I'm around. It took three solid months before he felt comfortable enough to stop deleting his browser history, an awfully long amount of time which seemed kind of strange at the time. But whatever. Low and behold nothing changed, the earth didn't implode and never will. So fast-forward a week and I was talking with my girlfriends and when the subject of porn came up as it somehow does, it was really clear that the idea of their bfs jerking off to porn when they're not around is somewhat akin to the act of kicking a small puppy, completely unacceptable. They were shocked and appalled to learn that I allowed this kind of behavior. At that point it was really clear why he didn't exactly take my word right away. So for you girls and guys out there, would the idea of your SO getting off to porn upset you? Do they allow you to watch it? Also, why would girls be so against it?

I knew my ex husband was watching porn - the dumba$$ would use my credit card to pay for it. When the charges showed up and I Google them and find out what some of them were or saw "adultfriendfinder" on it or whatever I would get pissed solely because there's no need to pay for porn!!! I told him I don't care if you watch it. I don't understand why it gets you off but I don't care just stop paying for it. It's literally all over the Internet for free.

He would ask me to watch it with him or have sex while porn was playing and I said no. That's weird to me. I don't get the big deal about porn. It's ridiculous and completely fake. So I don't get why people get off on it but hey, to each his or her own. I just don't need my significant other paying for it and using my card to do it. That's all that bothered me.

"They were shocked and appalled to learn that I allowed this kind of behavior."

 

Why are you discussing the intimate details of your relationship with a gaggle of girls?! TMI.

 

And I notice the word "allow" crept in. One doesn't place prohibitions. Such matters, like the one you raised, are strictly for discussion between you and him.

Friends talk about things like sex and any thing else like that. I've talked to my best friend about things I did with my ex husband. The only thing she ever judged me about was when I told her I masturbate. She said "eww gross." I said how is that gross??? Men do it - why can't women? (That's because for some reason it's taboo for women to masturbate and I have never understood why).

She was just getting others opinions - like she is on here. Not really a difference.

It sounds like you want to be in the 'cool girlfriend' camp as opposed to how uptight they are?

They were seriously appalled.

]

Oh, there-s a difference all right, Qwas. Here there is anonymity, and people are, so to speak, consulting for viewpoints.

I talk about a lot of things with friends, and, sex in general, sometimes. But my private life is my private life, and what I do or not with my husband is not for common knowledge.

Yes I have also talked to very close girl friends about sex. I think it's normal to talk about stuff like this with close confidants. These are friends who I trust and have known all my life and we feel comfortable discussing taboo or gross stuff like our health issues, period problems, and yes sex issues too.