Meditation/yoga for healing a broken heart?

I've tried meditating a few times this past month. The more I try to clear my mind the harder the memories of my ex and I come flooding in and I go into this downward spiral of torture instead of feeling the peace and tranquility that meditation is supposed to bring. Am I supposed to embrace this torture? It hurts so much that I stop the meditation and feel somewhat better.

I'm going to a yoga class tonight. Here's a brief description of anyone cares lol:

"This signature Vinyasa class will transition you through a series of always changing postures linking the breath with movement of your body. You will find some chanting, some Pranayama , sun salutations, balancing and a wonderful period of rest and recovery at the end of your practice."

Has anyone benefited from yoga/mediation regarding the healing process after a break up and finding inner happiness?

I seriously suck at meditating. I cannot clear my mind for anything.

If any of you have read The Power of Now, I've also tried being present which also led me into this downward spiral that mediation gets me into.

If anyone has advice or stories they'd like to share then feel free!

Thanks!

You don't just "try" meditating. Getting the hang of it does not happen immediately like a tap you turn on and off.

If you are thinking that is not meditation.

Correct breathing technique is required for meditation.

What's the problem with being in the present? The present is all we have, these five minutes, hour or day. We can't tell the future and the past is gone.

It is very important to find the right environment for meditation and the right teacher, if that is the word.

I am not terribly impressed by the yoga "class" you describe.

Honestly, I've tried that stuff out of curiosity and it bores me to tears. I'm way too hyperactive for that so instead of peace I find irritation. So....you are not alone.

What I find works way way way better for me is physically active, demanding exercise where I have to mentally focus on the task and it's also physically draining. Your brain can only think about one thing at a time and if it's focused on something practical and challenging and engaging, it can't think about your ex at the same time. The physical exhaustion is also nice as you expend the negative energy and end up feeling contently tired and too tired to think much at all other than "I'm starving and need a shower", aka get focused on another practical task. Very restful and rewarding and definitely helps.

The whole sitting inside your head and thinking just doesn't do it for me, makes my stresses worse.

I have found meditation extremely helpful. Very very relaxing. It isn't boring. However, it was part of stringent physical exercise and I found one hugely complemented the other.

I am also extremely active, always on the go, very busy.

Even when I workout at the gym, especially when I'm running, I don't think about my running... I think about other things; like him and fantasies of me stunting on him with a new hot boyfriend lol. It's silly.

As for being in the present, it's difficult because my mind is always busy on the past. If I wasn't heartbroken it would probably be a lot easier to not think about the past, but the past affects me every minute of the day since it happened.

And exactly why I can't meditate! I keep thinking! I try not to think and this process seems similar to repressing your emotions and then having them all surface at one... it feels like being punched in the stomach.

"but the past affects me every minute of the day since it happened.

"

Bad place to be, Angry. Dwelling in the past (which is history) is not the same as having a memory. Speaking of memories and thoughts, which do arrive unbidden. But we do not have to entertain those thoughts. Otherwise we go over the brink into obsessive thinking, not to mention "malignant nostalgia".

"It is important to understand what makes us more likely to dwell on the past, considering the numerous negative consequences.

Personality plays a role. Some people are more prone to rumination than others. Nearly everyone dwells in the past at some point, but some people do it more often and are more likely to get stuck in their thoughts."

"Rumination and persistent negative thinking are linked to social anxiety, symptoms of depression, elevated blood pressure and increased amounts of cortisol (a hormone associated with stress) in our blood. "

/

Circular thinking and rumination can also lead to depression. So perhaps it might be best to consult a professional and see what approach s/he might have.

Even when I workout at the gym, especially when I'm running, I don't think about my running... I think about other things; like him and fantasies of me stunting on him with a new hot boyfriend lol. It's silly.

 

As for being in the present, it's difficult because my mind is always busy on the past. If I wasn't heartbroken it would probably be a lot easier to not think about the past, but the past affects me every minute of the day since it happened.

 

And exactly why I can't meditate! I keep thinking! I try not to think and this process seems similar to repressing your emotions and then having them all surface at one... it feels like being punched in the stomach.

But that's just it, running is kind of mindless so yeah, your mind keeps thinking and sitting stuck in a bad situation. Instead try something like rock climbing or tennis or learn archery or whatever random thing might float your boat where you have to focus on what you are actually doing or else, where you are interacting with other people also about the task, so you knock your brain out of its depressing groove and focus on what you are doing in the moment. Learning something totally different in and of itself will have you focusing on the new thing.

Just keep busy and trying out stuff until you find things that you click with.

I'm going to a yoga class tonight.

]

If it were as simple as that, Wiseman.

"just keep busy".

then all problems would be easily solved.....

"Gee, I have serious depression....but, I'll just keep busy".

For someone like the OP who is on a "thinking treadmill" and can't get off, I truly feel it would be a good idea to consult someone, and then see what would be the best type of exercise (mental and/or physical) to help improve matters.

OP.

Over on this thread you may find some helpful ideas.

I meditate as I do my photography/walk at the lake .. I also cannot do the whole crossed legged routine , I have feckin OCD haha my thoughts DO NOT stop ..arghhhh

So to me meditation means peace in the mind , it is a time to empty the crap , it is a time to reach my spirit guides and for me been close to nature , taking pics , I am transported to another place completely , sometimes I will suddenly realise half an hour has passed and I was lost in this beautiful world .

Also the bath .. a lovely hot bubble bath ..I am able to lie back and lose myself completely ..meditation is reaching a place of peace within, and for me , the journey how you get there is a personal thing ..as long as you get there .

Absolutely, P. there is no need to sit cross-legged on the ground or anywhere else. and it needn't be indoors either, weather permitting.

There surely are some strange misconceptions about meditation. lol.

"Meditation is a mind and body practice that has a long history of use for increasing calmness and physical relaxation, improving psychological balance, coping with illness, and enhancing overall health and well-being. Mind and body practices focus on the interactions among the brain, mind, body, and behavior.

There are many types of meditation, but most have four elements in common: a quiet location with as few distractions as possible; a specific, comfortable posture (sitting, lying down, walking, or in other positions); a focus of attention (a specially chosen word or set of words, an object, or the sensations of the breath); and an open attitude (letting distractions come and go naturally without judging them)."

Meantime, OP, do you think there is anyone in the world worth the agonising and rumination? Of course not.

Absolutely, P. there is no need to sit cross-legged on the ground or anywhere else. and it needn't be indoors either, weather permitting.

 

There surely are some strange misconceptions about meditation. lol.

 

"Meditation is a mind and body practice that has a long history of use for increasing calmness and physical relaxation, improving psychological balance, coping with illness, and enhancing overall health and well-being. Mind and body practices focus on the interactions among the brain, mind, body, and behavior.

 

There are many types of meditation, but most have four elements in common: a quiet location with as few distractions as possible; a specific, comfortable posture (sitting, lying down, walking, or in other positions); a focus of attention (a specially chosen word or set of words, an object, or the sensations of the breath); and an open attitude (letting distractions come and go naturally without judging them)."

 

 

 

Meantime, OP, do you think there is anyone in the world worth the agonising and rumination? Of course not.

that is a very very good definition ..I like that , it sums it up nicely ..

Same thing

To be consistent with most of the research reviewed in this article, we define mindfulness as a moment-to-moment awareness of one's experience without judgment. In this sense, mindfulness is a state and not a trait. While it might be promoted by certain practices or activities, such as meditation, it is not equivalent to or synonymous with them.

Several disciplines and practices can cultivate mindfulness, such as yoga, tai chi and qigong, but most of the literature has focused on mindfulness that is developed through mindfulness meditation — those self-regulation practices that focus on training attention and awareness in order to bring mental processes under greater voluntary control and thereby foster general mental well-being and development and/or specific capacities such as calmness, clarity and concentration (Walsh & Shapiro, 2006).

had to add this: We've got the crazies over here too!! lol

""The bad spirit can be communicated in a variety of ways. I’m not saying everyone gets it, or that it happens every time, and people may well be doing yoga harmlessly. But there‘s always a risk and that’s why the Pope mentioned it and that’s why we talk about that in terms of the danger of the new age movement and the danger of the occult today. That’s the fear."

Father Colhoun is not alone, within the Catholic Church, in his suspicions of Yoga as a potential source for evil. In 2011, the Vatican’s own chief exorcist, Gabriele Amorth, told The Telegraph that it leads to a belief in Hinduism, and that "all eastern religions are based on false belief in reincarnation".

"Practising yoga is Satanic, it leads to evil just like reading Harry Potter", he added."

had to add this: We've got the crazies over here too!! lol

 

 

 

""The bad spirit can be communicated in a variety of ways. I’m not saying everyone gets it, or that it happens every time, and people may well be doing yoga harmlessly. But there‘s always a risk and that’s why the Pope mentioned it and that’s why we talk about that in terms of the danger of the new age movement and the danger of the occult today. That’s the fear."

 

Father Colhoun is not alone, within the Catholic Church, in his suspicions of Yoga as a potential source for evil. In 2011, the Vatican’s own chief exorcist, Gabriele Amorth, told The Telegraph that it leads to a belief in Hinduism, and that "all eastern religions are based on false belief in reincarnation".

 

"Practising yoga is Satanic, it leads to evil just like reading Harry Potter", he added."

speechless lol ...absolutely speechless

Yeh. You gotta watch out for those evil spirits.......

Thanks so much guys! And thank you for the links. I'll read them all.

I just got home from the yoga class. I liked it and I think I have a lesbian crush on my instructor lol. ANYWAYS, it was so nice! I loved how peaceful the room looked. The only thing I struggled with was balance for a couple of the exercises.

We also meditated and meditation is so much better with some nice calming music playing in the background. I should've asked the instructor what playlist that was.

Keeping busy is always suggested when it comes to heartbreak, but many times my mind too busy to focus on whatever task it is that I have to do.

"Practising yoga is Satanic, it leads to evil just like reading Harry Potter", he added."

- This is hilarious 😂

I don't know if you've ever tried this but I have two apps on my phone that offer guided meditation and since I'm still a beginner and really struggle with shutting my mind off, I can focus in on the voice telling me what to do and it is slowly helping. The two apps I use are Headspace and Simply Being.