Breakup after 4 years...still in contact.

My bf and I have had our fair share of ups and downs with the most recent being a somewhat mutual breakup. On his part, he says he doesn't feel like himself anymore and hates that he's being a crappy partner. Long story short, he's currently struggling financially and says he has no future to offer me. On my part, I was and still are ready to support him in whatever way until he gets back on his feet. However, it is clear that he is struggling with his own demons and isn't entirely devoted to us. We've been broken up almost two weeks now but still keep in touch. My biggest problem is his insistence on having a sexual relationship no strings attached. I have never been a fan of casual sex and so I've turned him down since I feel it's either we fight through this rough patch to make it work or we let it go and move on.I have decided to go NC but I really don't want to lose him. We still have a really strong connection but why can't he just man up and stick it out till this dark cloud passes? Is there any hope for us?

Carry on with your NC, but ask him to contact you if he decides he wants to rekindle the relationship. Otherwise you'd rather not hear from him.

That will be simultaneously taking care of yourself and your own healing, whilst potentially leaving the door open. You are absolutely right not to let him use you sexually whilst having no commitment to you.

As to whether he'll get in touch if you make those stipulations? Nobody else can tell you, unfortunately!

It would be best to stay no contact. The relationship has been on/off turbulent and fraught with financial, jealousy and other issues.

NC would help you reflect on this raw deal he offered and why you would offer to again subsidize him financially, just to get him to stick around.

he's currently struggling financially and says he has no future to offer me. We've been broken up almost two weeks now but still keep in touch. My biggest problem is his insistence on having a sexual relationship no strings attached. I have decided to go NC but I really don't want to lose him.

He is manipulating you. If he's struggling and wants you to help him through it, then he needs to commit to you and devote the time necessary. Otherwise, he can't have his cake and eat it, too. Leave him to his struggles. Nothing good can come of allowing him to manipulate and guilt you into having NSA sex with him (which, by the way, will necessarily perpetuate your romantic feelings for him... there's not such thing as NSA sex with exes). I can see already how you're falling for it. If he is struggling and needs to be alone, then allow him to be alone, go strict no contact, and move on.

Sounds about like exactly what I'm going to do. Thanks for your advice.