Another setback

I just found out my ex got engaged today. After 4 months of dating, they're getting married. We still are in contact because of our son, but did he have the balls to tell me himself? Of course not, his daughter told me. I'm not jealous, but it makes me question everything about myself. How could he be engaged after just 4 months but not want to marry me after 5 years? It just drives home the fact that he didn't really love me, he loved the control he had over me and that I was convenient to him. I wasted 5 years of my life that I'll never get back. I dealt with his drinking and emotional abuse for 5 years. There's so many emotions running through me right now. How was someone like him able to find someone but I can't? Uhh...I just want to crawl under a rock and hide myself from the world right now.

Sorry you had to find that out. You will find someone. 4 months huh wouldn't worry about that to much. He sounds pretty lost to me. Who knows in 4 months. Try not to think about him. Concentrate on yourself good luck.

I just found out my ex got engaged today. After 4 months of dating, they're getting married. We still are in contact because of our son, but did he have the balls to tell me himself? Of course not, his daughter told me. I'm not jealous, but it makes me question everything about myself. How could he be engaged after just 4 months but not want to marry me after 5 years? It just drives home the fact that he didn't really love me, he loved the control he had over me and that I was convenient to him. I wasted 5 years of my life that I'll never get back. I dealt with his drinking and emotional abuse for 5 years. There's so many emotions running through me right now. How was someone like him able to find someone but I can't? Uhh...I just want to crawl under a rock and hide myself from the world right now.

Darling don't judge your own self worth on the actions of others ... you don't know who she is or what she is about or how little she is prepared to settle for !! think about it .

you got your baby in those 5 years ..so just try and think of that ...lots of love xx

It always stings to hear this. But consider that now she will be subjected to the tyranny you endured. He will not suddenly stop being a jerk. The real irony is that one day you will meet a loving decent man and looking back you dodged a bullet.

I just found out my ex got engaged today.We still are in contact because of our son. I dealt with his drinking and emotional abuse for 5 years.

Yes it's the same guy. I've been so back and forth on my emotions with this, because of course when I hear something like this, all my heart wants to remember is how good it was when it was good. I haven't had much luck in the dating scene (I'm sure everyone remembers d*** pic guy, lol). It's just disheartening, I guess. He was in my life so I could have my son and for that I'll always be thankful. Just sucks that I can't move on as fast as he did.

Sorry you had to find that out. You will find someone. 4 months huh wouldn't worry about that to much. He sounds pretty lost to me. Who knows in 4 months. Try not to think about him. Concentrate on yourself good luck.

It's very fast and I just don't understand it. He went from doing everything in his power to get me back, to meeting her the day after we spent a day together trying to work it out. It's just upsetting to know he had no regard for me whatsoever.

Remember the bad things. And why you were relieved when he left. You were not happy. But you have an amazing child. So sorry u r hurt.

How was someone like him able to find someone but I can't?

If it's any consolation, after a period of four months this "someone" he met is just that, "someone." In any event, as time goes by hopefully you'll see this as a lucky break.