Please help me, my ex is confusing me :(

Me and my LDR ex of 11 months broke up in august after a huge argument that resulted in him saying his feelings have changed. We lived two hours train ride away and saw eachother every weekend. I am doing well in moving on with my life and I'm proud that I've become so strong.

The last time me and the ex spoke about the relationship he was saying it's hard for him and me saying I had feelings doesn't make it easier. He's focusing on religion now and I asked if we'd get a second chance and he said "I can't predict the future but wouldn't think so" he wants to be "friends"

This isn't something I agreed to and he was made aware of it.

My ex is very straightforward and if it was definitely no he would say.

Anyway, that was last month, start of this month he's been texting me every week! And talking about memories and the past, inside jokes we had. Asking me a lot of questions about what I'm doing etc. Told him I'd dyed my hair and he asked to see it. As far as I know he still has a photo of us up in his bedroom.

Like as soon as I've left him alone he's messaging me and has told so many people he doesn't want/isn't ready to be with another girl.

I don't tend to reply because it sets me moving on back, and these old inside jokes are dead to me now like. He text on Monday asking if I was okay and I replied this morning and he goes "yeah I'm fine was trying to talk lol"

My ex isn't the sort to do this through boredom, he is a serious Xbox addict and doesn't get bored of playing it, he is very independent minded so can't think of why he's doing this.

Could someone give me an insight into this behaviour because to me it's really weird.

he doesn't seem to know where his head is at. you know where your head is at though, so good for you. if you don't think he is worth your time, then politely ask him to stop messaging you and commit to no contact. if you still want that second chance with him (although at this point it seems like you are already moving on) then let him know you need space of no communication so you can clear your thoughts about his behavior because this is the real issue here. you are confused about what he is doing and you need to figure it out. if he keeps texting you, it's gonna mess with your head and you won't be thinking clearly.

ask for some radio silence because it is best for you both. ask him to reflect on his actions in the mean time. I mean religion? and then goes back to messaging you? something is not right with him.

the thing that really has brought it to my attention is the whole "yes was just trying to talk lol" message because I didn't reply for 5 days like it makes no sense

On-again off-again behavior is pretty typical after breakups. People find it hard to let go, even though they know it's over. They try to ween themselves off of you.... a slow, agonizing love death. What do you want to know about it? It just stinks. The best thing to do is to cut contact, move on, and date others. Why live a life of unrequited love?

At the start of the breakup he ignored me a lot and the second I've decided to move on and go away he's doing this. It's stupid and I'm so confused

What was the breakup about? Was the distance or religious thing creating a conflict? Good idea to block him and not be "friends" if it sets you back.

he said "I can't predict the future but wouldn't think so" he wants to be "friends". start of this month he's been texting me every week! And talking about memories and the past, inside jokes we had.

Unless you want to keep this nonsense going, I would seriously think about blocking him. If you're "doing well, and moving on with your life," why are you leaving an opening for communication?

Hey lovely. No we had a huge argument and didn't see eachother for weeks and he said his feelings changed

Confusion isn't necessary. Decide where you want to stand with the guy. If you'd take him back, then if he messages you, you can tell him that you don't have any interest in merely being friends, so he shouldn't contact you again unless he wants to reconcile the relationship.

Head high.

But I dunno if he even wants me back haha that's why I'm confused about what he wants

But I dunno if he even wants me back haha that's why I'm confused about what he wants

 

That's exactly why you need to decide first what YOU want. If it's to be left alone, say so. If it's to reconcile, then tell him that's the only purpose of communication you're interested in.

I know I want space from him I need breathing space regardless. Im just confused as to what he wants. I just need an insight into why he's doing this.

I know I want space from him I need breathing space regardless. Im just confused as to what he wants. I just need an insight into why he's doing this.

If it's not to reconcile, then it's irrelevant.

I messaged him this morning after my friends and family told me to mention a memory and he said

It's funny you know because I Thought of the exact same thing this mornin randomly lol x

It takes a lot more commitment and work to keep a LDR going than it does a relationship with someone more local, and the fact that a massive argument led to a total breakup rather than a temporary blip doesn't bode well. In fact, if it had been more local you possibly wouldn't have split up.

I agree with catfeeder; decide what you want out of this scenario. If you want to move on, tell him to stop contacting you, block him on social media etc etc. Otherwise continuing to have contact with him will get in the way of your healing. If you want him back, tell him not to contact you unless it's to ask for a reconciliation.

Stop trying to work him out. Chances are, he doesn't know himself.

He said he doesn't want to be back with me as he doesn't feel the same and the relationships been ruined

He doesn't think we will ever be together again but can't see himself in a relationship for a long time

I said I need time to heal and deleted whatsapp

If he wants to reconcile he knows where I am

Every phone, app, and website has a block feature. Use it.