Supposed to meet today but she rescheduled, she sent me proof but unsure?

We were supposed to go on a third date today at 6pm (Saturday) which was arranged during the week. She agreed, but then told me she couldn't make it now as she got reminded by her friend that her and some uni friends had planned to get together, then asking if we could do this next Saturday. She also sent me a screenshot of her conversation with her uni friends from two weeks ago planning it for the day we had our date on,

So I said I couldn't next Saturday, it's my grandad's 90th birthday weekend. I suggested this Sunday, but she asked "what about next Sunday?". Again, I mentioned the birthday weekend. I then said it would have to be during the week. She agreed but said she would be tired after work and she said "It will have to be during the week then".

I said I'll let her know in the next couple of days when I get my work schedule.

On the Friday (day before when our date was going to be) she told me she had come home from work early because she was sick and felt really awful/ill. I wished her better, we spoke, etc.

I told her "How does bowling next Thursday at 8pm sound?", she said "Yeah that's fine with me". I said "cool and then cut the conversation as I went to sleep.

However, I've just looked at her Facebook page now and saw at 6pm her status said she tagged a friend with a picture of a candle (reference to her friend's new baby) and then another status at 9pm of her commenting about the xfactor/tv show, which suggested to me she was sat in watching tv that evening/night.

Now, she did agree to Thursday, but I'm wondering if I am worrying over this? I'm wondering if she could have been too sick to meet up with her uni friends after throwing up the day before?

We also talk every day, whether I initiate it or she does. I decided not to today and she hasn't initiated anything.

What do you think?

Way to hard and difficult. Just wait till Thursday and see how it goes. What else can you do?

Way to hard and difficult. Just wait till Thursday and see how it goes. What else can you do?

True! If she tries to reschedule for the week after then I'll break things off and stop talking to her. I can only go with Thursday now and see if she goes through with it.

We usually talk every day whether I initiate or she does. However today we didn't speak at all when I didn't initiate. That's why I was worried.

You two talk too much. You monitor her social media too much. And you worry too much.

Over a virtual stranger.

Calm down and relax.

What do I think?

That fb is the devil.

Happy birthday to grandfather!

I wouldn't worry, supposing that you are her friend on FB and if she was hiding something, FB would be the first place she would be careful with I suppose. Maybe she cancelled because she didn't feel much in form for a date but didn't want to sound like rejecting you so came up with this. Or maybe her friends called their meeting.

Today, maybe neither of you initiated anything because you both expected the other party to.

Relax, observe and enjoy.

Happy birthday to grandfather!

 

I wouldn't worry, supposing that you are her friend on FB and if she was hiding something, FB would be the first place she would be careful with I suppose. Maybe she cancelled because she didn't feel much in form for a date but didn't want to sound like rejecting you so came up with this. Or maybe her friends called their meeting.

 

Today, maybe neither of you initiated anything because you both expected the other party to.

 

Relax, observe and enjoy.

Ah yeah, I have been initiating for the last couple of weeks so she probably got used to that.

When she told me she couldn't make it, she did offer a rescheduled time which I couldn't make BUT she did send me a screenshot of her facebook conversation with her uni friends where they were all in agreement of the 15th.

Her facebook suggested otherwise unless they met during the day before her first status at 6pm and she didn't write about it.

But my gut says if she was ill enough to leave work early (she's fully committed to her job) then I doubt she'd be in the mood the next day to go out with friends. She could have just gave me some lame excuse with no offer of a rescheduled time or not bother wkth Thursday.

I would skip the ruminating every time your schedules don't line up or fall off. You're taking the fun out of dating someone you really like, and if you keep it up, she'll sense it and fulfill your prophecy.

Lay off of FB and direct your focus onto your real life. Fit her in when you can, trust that she'll do the same, and enjoy one another.

Who cares what she is/was doing, stop fb stalking and just wait. If she's still interested and schedule is free for both, then the date will happen. If she's still sick or whatever maybe drop off a care package for her at home with food/meds.

OK. Everyone is different and sometimes we surprise or maybe even disappoint others with our actions, maybe we unintentionally cause them to worry but it doesn't mean that we are doing sinister things. For insantance, I'm not someone who is very into the idea of dating so if I'm dating someone, it means it like them really a lot. But if I first cancelled something with them or said no to something because of another plan but rescheduled, and then if that plan didn't come through, I wouldn't go back to the person to say that my plan changed, not after two dates. First off, I would be relaxed because we have already arranged something and I can tell it to them when we meet. Second, maybe he has already made another plan and unless I want him to change his plans, I don't want to unnecessarily come up with new planning etc - and maybe hearing a fair no. If I'm on a day when I'm prone to worrying, I can even think that this will put the guy under some stress because he will feel like he has to alter his plans again because of me. With closer friends etc, I can just give a call and say I'm in the neighbourhood and free, do you want to meet? But I'm not sure that I will do it with someone I have dated twice. I may be more inclined to stick to schedules etc. I may even change my plans with my college plans and not worry because I have already rescheduled with the guy, so that thing is sorted in my head. Reading your post, I can understand how these may cause someone to worry but I don't do these with any special thing in my mind. I can behave like this with a guy that I really really fancy. So personally to me, there is nothing worrying in this. People have different styles. Keep on being positive, experiencing and observing. If you really have something to worry about, you will know it and you will have a lot of time for that. I think two dates is too early.

As for waiting for the other one to respond, maybe she formed a pattern in her head, a pattern where you initiate. And when this was broken, she wanted to see what happens or she just didn't think much of it. In time, you will see what happens.

But I think, at this stage, this is a person who is keen on meeting you. She rescheduled, didn't insist on seeing on some later weekend, so she wants to meet you as early as possible. She has even sent you her screenshot with her friends. "Proof"! For instance, I would never do that one. I think my word should be enough. So we are all different but this person doesn't seem to be doing anything worrying to me at this stage.

Wow, two dates and you have turned this into some sort of recognizance mission.

Relax. . ask her out and stop following and fact checking her.

You two talk too much. You monitor her social media too much. And you worry too much.

 

Over a virtual stranger.

 

Calm down and relax.

True words to live by. The more straight forward and to the point.

Definitely try to let go of the SM monitoring.. The last thing your date needs to worry about, is what she posts and when and why so she doesn't upset you or have you thinking far south about anything. She may have had something as small as a headache, or bloated stomach and didn't want to go through with whatever plans she had originally told you she had. Point is, she said she had "other" plans, and politely followed up with a backup. That's what (if anything) you should be focusing on ;-)

We were supposed to go on a third date today at 6pm (Saturday) which was arranged during the week. She agreed, but then told me she couldn't make it now as she got reminded by her friend that her and some uni friends had planned to get together, then asking if we could do this next Saturday. She also sent me a screenshot of her conversation with her uni friends from two weeks ago planning it for the day we had our date on,

 

The fact she sent a screen shot is telling. I would interpret that as compensating for a lie. Anyone who feels they have to send proof, isn't on the up and up. I would let this one go.

What do I think?

 

That fb is the devil.

Being mindful of Facebook in dating is a modern day fact of life. Remember kids are becoming teens and adults without knowing a world without Facebook. Feel old yet

What some people consider stalking, others consider investigating. Not picking a side here.

The fact she sent a screen shot is telling. I would interpret that as compensating for a lie. Anyone who feels they have to send proof, isn't on the up and up. I would let this one go.

I don't believe that. This is too new, so she's not invested enough to lie to you. If she wanted to blow you off, she'd just do that without feeling any need to prove anything to you.

My social commitments smack me sideways often enough to appreciate this as a scheduling fumble. It's just not a big deal.

You'll need to adopt enough resiliency to roll with this stuff, or you'll rip up your stomach for zero payoff. Ruminating and playing detective is the perfect way to destroy any enjoyment of your experiences. Soak up good times at face value without projecting gloom and doom onto them. Otherwise, gloom and doom is ALL you'll ever know, and you'll be able to say that nothing good ever happens for you--and you'll be right about that, because you've MADE it true.

I don't believe that. This is too new, so she's not invested enough to lie to you. If she wanted to blow you off, she'd just do that without feeling any need to prove anything to you.

 

My social commitments smack me sideways often enough to appreciate this as a scheduling fumble. It's just not a big deal.

 

You'll need to adopt enough resiliency to roll with this stuff, or you'll rip up your stomach for zero payoff. Ruminating and playing detective is the perfect way to destroy any enjoyment of your experiences. Soak up good times at face value without projecting gloom and doom onto them. Otherwise, gloom and doom is ALL you'll ever know, and you'll be able to say that nothing good ever happens for you--and you'll be right about that, because you've MADE it true.

I'm not so sure. I find it odd someone would offer unsolicited proof. I'm not entirely convinced either way. I do find often people will usually tell you what's wrong with them by telling you what's not wrong with them. If someone insists they don't like drama, they probably don't, but they probably end up in drama. I'm also suspicious of people who are over the top explaining and insisting how honest they are. Why feel the need?

I do agree ruminating and playing detective is a good way to destroy things. I never do that, I insist.

Lounging in your jamjams with your laptop on your chest is a whole lot different than going out on a date. It doesn't mean she wasn't feeling ill if she was shooting the **** on FB.

I, too, am bit perplexed as to why she'd go as far as to send you a screenshot to "prove" her plans to you. Did you express doubt or solicit the evidence from her in some way?

So I said I couldn't next Saturday, it's my grandad's 90th birthday weekend. I suggested this Sunday, but she asked "what about next Sunday?". Again, I mentioned the birthday weekend. I then said it would have to be during the week. She agreed but said she would be tired after work and she said "It will have to be during the week then".

Just to be fair, I would have an equal problem with your birthday absence. I've never heard of a whole weekend birthday celebration, unless it was out of town (not listed in your update)? Was that the case?

Also, you could tell by her reaction that she's not thrilled with dating during the week. You should have let the matter drop, and have her contact you with her dating options.