Just ignoring me..

Hi all,

I really need some outside perspective on an issue I've been having lately with my boyfriend. Last night he was watching a baseball game, and I called him once or twice. Each time he would not answer and instead responded with a text. Now, when his friends call, he drops absolutely everything and answers the phone. No matter where we are or what we are doing. But when I call it doesn't really seem to matter much. So I responded to his text with something along the lines of "when _____ calls you run to answer the phone, but when I cal...". Perhaps this was a bit immature, but I was kind of feeling rejected at the time. He got upset and told me goodnight. I proceeded to call him a few more times to talk things out, but he just ignored my calls.

It really hurts me when he does this, I feel like we should be able to talk when we have a problem. Instead he just ignores me, and goes to sleep without a problem. In the mean time I am crying my eyes out thinking, this is not how you treat someone you say you love. I feel disrespected, and like I matter really very little to him. He tells me he loves me all the time, and so many sweet things, but when I am upset, he just changes. Perhaps I nag him too much, I think he doesn't like talking to me when I am upset, but isn't that what you do when you're in a relationship? Talk things out?

"In the mean time I am crying my eyes out thinking, this is not how you treat someone you say you love. I feel disrespected, and like I matter really very little to him.

Well there you have it in your own words, Bunzana. Is this the kind of relationship you really want? Only you can say.

Let me tell you something. I would not be single now if my ex boyfriend was as good at communicating. Communication is EVERYTHING for making it work. I believe women are naturally more communicative (not all but most) and often men aren't. You need to nip this in the bud now. Tell him it's just not guna work if there's not an equal amount of communication, you can't force anyone to want to communicate with you so maybe he needs to think about that & you need to give him the space to do so x

Thank you Ava, I totally agree. Communication is also very important to me, and most of the time he is pretty good with it. However, I feel it is partly my fault that he no longer wants to communicate. I can be difficult, and tend to get upset easily. I think he just may not want to deal with it anymore...

Sometimes Bunzana, one's partner, BF or husband is not the person to takes one's troubles to for discussion. That's what girl-friends are ideal for, listening and brainstorming when one has a problem or is upset. What do you think?

Maybe you are right Hermes. Perhaps he feels that I am coming to him too often with these problems...

And, Bunzana, you can come HERE too to discuss those things that upset you......

You see, B, men tend to think that when we want to discuss something it is because we are asking them for a solution, because they are solution-driven. I could say to my husband (this is just an example) "gosh what a noise the wind is making against that window", (just a remark that's all!!) and out comes the toolbox to fix the rattle..if any.

See what I mean? Just an analogy.

Now my question...he has not spoken to me since that text. should I just let him come to me? I feel like I have tried to reach out several times to no avail, and to further try and contact him and be ignored again would just make me feel even more rejected. But not hearing from him is killing me...

There is a quote that I've found to be true: " If he's ignoring you, someone else is getting his attention "

Try to keep busy, Bunzana, find lots to do, keep your mind off him. You can't sit there in agony waiting for a text or call. It isn't fair to yourself.

There is a quote that I've found to be true: " If he's ignoring you, someone else is getting his attention "

that's really not helpful.

you are right Hermes...but I find myself unable to stop thinking about it. Even though I am at work, I keep hoping he will contact me.

Maybe try to meet up with someone, a friend perhaps, after work. I know it isn't easy for you, but keep that mind busy.....

We were supposed to go to my friends birthday party together tonight... not sure what I should do now

Don't over-think, B, lol. Go to your friend's birthday party on your own. Do it!

that's really not helpful.

No it's not.... if you can't say something nice then don't say anything at all. IMHO.

We were supposed to go to my friends birthday party together tonight... not sure what I should do now

Go for it, girl! Get out there, let your hair down and have some fun! You don't need anyone's permission - just go! :surprise:

Don't over-think, B, lol. Go to your friend's birthday party on your own. Do it!

I guess I will have to

You guys don't think I should ask him if he still wants to come?

Put a big smile on that face, B, stride into that party and enjoy yourself. What's not to like?!

You guys don't think I should ask him if he still wants to come?

No! it will be more fun without him grumping around X

No! it will be more fun without him grumping around X

Hahah thanks guys you actually put a smile on my face. Didn't think that was gonna happen today.

"You guys don't think I should ask him if he still wants to come?"

BUNZANA! stop it! LOL.

He presumably knows the party is on and he'll turn up if he wants to....or not.

Keep that smile going, Bunzana. No one, but no one, is worth agonising over...

Hahah thanks guys you actually put a smile on my face. Didn't think that was gonna happen today.

Get out there and PPPAAARRRTTTAAAAYYYY!!

I need to come on here more often. If it hadn't been for you Hermes and Skelly, I would have begged him to still go with me, and probably felt like crap after. Need to learn to go with logic, not just emotions.