Boyfriend too tired to spend time with me

Me and my boyfriend been together for 10 months now and I never been anymore happier with anyone else. He is honestly like the other half of me, he goes to college in the mornings and after college he goes to work till very late. We have absolutely no time to spend together and when we do he is just too tired, he gets days off on Mondays but it feels like we still don't spend time together cause he is either helping his family or falling asleep. I miss him a lot, he says he misses me too but if he did then wouldn't he make a effort to spend time with me or am I just being selfish?? I need answers on what I should do, should I talk to him about it, should I leave it how it is, or should I end it with him?? Please help

I guess it depends why he works all the hours he does? Is it so you can get a house together in the future? What do you do when he's at work/college? If he's trying to please everyone, maybe you need to sit down with him, tell him how you feel and come to some agreement as to when you both have some "together" time so you can enjoy each others company.

He is working for a future for us, he says he is serious with me and wants the best for us. I don't work cause I am moving closer to him, so when he is away I am getting everything ready on trying to move. And thank you for your reply, it means a lot to me

PS: I will be working once I move and he says he is gonna get a different job so he can spend more time with me but I am still unsure if that will work out as we plan

So is this a LDR or does he work away? (Sorry it's early Saturday and my brain hasn't woken up yet....)

Right now yes its a LDR, here is the story. I go on vacation to see family in another country since I was 10. I'm 20 now, we met when I was 10 and was friends ever since then. Then we finally shared our feelings and got together last time I was over there, then I had to come back where I live. I'm planning on being back there to live there in 2 months. And don't be sorry, its ok

Is an arranged marriage?

Right now yes its a LDR, here is the story. I go on vacation to see family in another country since I was 10. I'm 20 now, we met when I was 10 and was friends ever since then.

He has to get my dad's permission, which won't be a few years from now. 10 months together is too early for a marriage

Who will you live with when you move there? How long do you have to be dating/engaged before you can marry? Do both sets of parents have to approve the marriage?

He has to get my dad's permission, which won't be a few years from now. 10 months together is too early for a marriage

Who will you live with when you move there? How long do you have to be dating/engaged before you can marry? Do both sets of parents have to approve the marriage?

My mom and dad are getting a divorce and my dad is moving there cause we have family there. So I will be living with him till I am able to live on my own or live with my boyfriend. There is no time, just need my dad's permission. His parents love me and think we should and my mom thinks we should, my dad is not ready for me to grow up

He's burning the candle at both ends - of course he does not have time for a relationship.

He's burning the candle at both ends - of course he does not have time for a relationship.

I understand that he is, I should stop being selfish. I will talk to him about this and thank you to all whom replied

Perhaps when you live in the area and get a job go and to school or maybe 2 jobs, you'll both be busy but being closer may make some more realistic time for you two.

Once your father marries you off he'll be glad to see you grow up. Are you engaged or is the marriage already arranged?

Will your father support you financially until you find work? Does he hope you will take over household duties in the place of your mother?

my dad is moving there.I will be living with him till I am able to live on my own or live with my boyfriend.

I'm still not really understanding what about packing means you can't work for two months until you move. There's a red flag going on there.

Anyway, just move, get a job, and see how things go.

Perhaps when you live in the area and get a job go and to school or maybe 2 jobs, you'll both be busy but being closer may make some more realistic time for you two.

 

Once your father marries you off he'll be glad to see you grow up. Are you engaged or is the marriage already arranged?

 

Will your father support you financially until you find work? Does he hope you will take over household duties in the place of your mother?

Has not been arranged. And yes my father will provide me all I need and no he said he will get me a job and let me grow up but marriage this young is something else

I'm still not really understanding what about packing means you can't work for two months until you move. There's a red flag going on there.

 

Anyway, just move, get a job, and see how things go.

Packing as in getting all our things ready to move, I'm not working. I will work once I move to my location. We talked about this, he is in the middle of getting a different job that requires less time and quitting his job. Once he is done with college he will make a business and buy a house and we will be living together then after we will talk about marriage with my father

And I will most likely be working for my aunt's business, she will teach me all and help me make my own business too. Yes it may take some time and I understand that there won't be "us" time but I asked if he is ready for that and he said no one is ready for these kind of things but he is happy with me and loves me so he will do whatever it takes to be with me and have our future together

Packing as in getting all our things ready to move, I'm not working. I will work once I move to my location. We talked about this, he is in the middle of getting a different job that requires less time and quitting his job. Once he is done with college he will make a business and buy a house and we will be living together then after we will talk about marriage with my father

So you pack 8 hours a day, five days a week? Honestly?

So you pack 8 hours a day, five days a week? Honestly?

What are you not understanding, its not a job. Its simply getting all our cars ready, clothes ready, belongings, saving money, and settling this divorce with my parents. What does "moving" mean to you, its not a easy task. Damn

Your boyfriend is a hard working man who is building a future for himself.

I think you are being short sighted. And yes, somewhat selfish. I don't think it's intentional, I think you just can't relate to having the expectations that others and himself have for him... because there are different expectations for you, and you don't hold yourself to an expectation that you need to be providing for yourself and others either.

I think if you had to work the way he does, you'd get it. But you don't, and those around you won't steer you in that direction either.

Put yourself in his shoes. Do you really think it's fair what you expect of him?

To be blunt, I think if you want more time with him, work harder yourself and take some of the load off him.

Your boyfriend is a hard working man who is building a future for himself.

 

I think you are being short sighted. And yes, somewhat selfish. I don't think it's intentional, I think you just can't relate to having the expectations that others and himself have for him... because there are different expectations for you, and you don't hold yourself to an expectation that you need to be providing for yourself and others either.

 

I think if you had to work the way he does, you'd get it. But you don't, and those around you won't steer you in that direction either.

 

Put yourself in his shoes. Do you really think it's fair what you expect of him?

 

To be blunt, I think if you want more time with him, work harder yourself and take some of the load off him.

Thank you, finally someone who makes sense. Once I move I will do all I can to make him work less. Yes I am being selfish but I will stop that and start helping. At least I have not complained to him about it, I can't do nothing right now but soon I will be able to for him like he has been doing for us

There you go!

It's ok to miss him. And it's ok to tell him you miss him. I'm sure he misses you so much too. Who wants to be working when they can be having fun with their girlfriend or boyfriend?! But he does it because he does care. He cares about the long term, and he's doing it so life can be better for you both. Just think of that when you start thinking things like this first post.

And yes, treasure him if he is a good man. I hope things work out for you.

What are you not understanding, its not a job. Its simply getting all our cars ready, clothes ready, belongings, saving money, and settling this divorce with my parents. What does "moving" mean to you, its not a easy task. Damn

I think you've answered the question. Which is you are choosing not to work and that may be putting a perceived burden on him to work more.

If you have a job, he may not feel the need to work as much. Like it or not, people move (my own mother moved internally with small children up until the week before she left) while working all the time. Also, if you had a job, you would probably be just as busy as he.

There you go!

 

It's ok to miss him. And it's ok to tell him you miss him. I'm sure he misses you so much too. Who wants to be working when they can be having fun with their girlfriend or boyfriend?! But he does it because he does care. He cares about the long term, and he's doing it so life can be better for you both. Just think of that when you start thinking things like this first post.

 

And yes, treasure him if he is a good man. I hope things work out for you.

I Understand and I agree, I don't want to lose him cause he is a good man and does all he can for me. We will do our best to make a future together. Thank you again