Need help getting finances under control!

OK, so about 8 years ago, I was dealing with issues from my past , using drugs and was in and out of psychiatric hospitals. I was placed on disability and received a monthly check. Because of my diagnoses (bi polar disorder), the state determined my monthly check would go to a representative payee (conservator). My father was my representative payee.

Prior to this period, I received a large structured settlement due to the untimely loss of my mother. I was working full time making great money and had this large bank balance from the settlement. Needless to say like anyone young and dumb I spent the money foolishly.

A year or so after being placed on ssdi, I decided the income alone was not enough to live the lifestyle I desired so I took on a part time job and used that as my spending money while my dad got my disability check to cover my bills.

Still not satisfied with the small amount of pay, I decided I wanted to get a good full time job and get off disability. By this point I have stopped using drugs for about 4 years, (including prescription drugs which are perscriped to me for my mental illness) and I have never had any issues mentally since. I got a full time job making 17$ hour with plenty of over time, but my father was worried about me not being able to pay my bills so I continued to have the direct deposit go directly to him and he would transfer me a daily allowance.

I ended up loosing that job after a year, I was on unemployment for two months before finding a new job but even those checks went to my father.

Now my bills are paid and I have a roof over my headhowever I feel my needs aren't getting met. (haircut , new clothes etc..) I'm not trying to be a baller as I know my income isn't the greatest but I do want to be presentable. I don't see my bills or know exactly where my money goes except for the amount I receive daily. This type of "business relationship" is causing stress between me and my dad. I just recently turned 31 & since I haven't had any issues with drugs or mental illness in over five years I think I'm ready to take back control of my finances. I can't live like this and is not good for my dad either.

Mind you, I've never had to be responsible over my own finances as I've had my settlement and have been under conservatorship basically my whole adult life. Money has always burned a hole in my pocket and I've always been bad with it so I'm sure I might slip up if I'm in control of my finances however I think I will learn quickly and know I am capable. However whenever I tell my dad I want to receive my direct deposit and be responsible for my own bills its another fight and argument added to our relationship.

I don't know what to do, any advice would be great

Only an attorney can help you with the conservatorship or trust funds and your psychiatrists with regard to your competency. Try discussing options with them confidentially.

You could ask your father for a written accounting of where money goes and tell him what your budget requirements are.

I've never had to be responsible over my own finances as I've had my settlement and have been under conservatorship basically my whole adult life. However whenever I tell my dad I want to receive my direct deposit and be responsible for my own bills its another fight and argument added to our relationship

You need to take a finance or budgeting class first. After you take that and learn about how to manage your own finances, you then need to sit down with your father and have him go over, in painstaking and excruciating detail, what bills you have, how many, how much they are, how often they're due, how much you bring in, how much goes to monthly expenses, and how much you have leftover. After that, you take how much you have leftover and budget it out. I wouldn't recommend taking full control over your finances immediately after this, your dad should remain in partial control and you should be given more access until you learn and feel comfortable managing things by yourself.

It will have to be a slow process and you'll have to learn a lot and show your dad you know what your bills are and that you are budgeting. There's an app I use to budget called Mint and it's very helpful. You tie together all your accounts and bills and your bank account and it budgets for you, calculates how much you bring in and how much you spend each month, etc.

Only an attorney can help you with the conservatorship or trust funds and your psychiatrists with regard to your competency. Try discussing options with them confidentially.

 

You could ask your father for a written accounting of where money goes and tell him what your budget requirements are.

Thank you, although at this point the conservatorship is just something me and my dad have agreed on mutually. I choose for the sake of our sanity to have my direct deposits from my job go to him. Legally he was only required to receive my disability check which that had stopped when I started working full time.,

You've seen that an all-or-nothing approach doesn't work with your goal of maintaining a good relationship with your father. You may want to speak with him about incremental responsibility. Work out a percentage of increase in managing your own money over time, and ask to sit with him to pay your bills together so he can teach you.