No contact rule to get ex back.

So ive used the no contact rule to get my ex of 2 years back one other time after we had a short break. Our relationship only allowed us to see each other on the weekends and she only broke up because of that despite the chemistry we had and the fact that she still loved me. I am 2 weeks into no contact and im not sure if it is the best plan to use even though she isnt contacting me. At the same time when we got back together the first time she also ignored me contact wise but then she confessed that she couldnt get me off her mind when we were back together. Ive taken strides myself in being fine on my own but i know deep down id like to get vack together with her just because we were so close. I really just wanted to know if no contact is a good way to go about this or should i be doing something else, because of the different circumstance being this is our second breakup and everything, thanks guys.

No contact is not a game you play to get someone back, despite what Cosmo or whatever might say. You do it to get over someone and move on with your life. If you've broken up twice there's probably a good reason for that.

No contact is not a game you play to get someone back

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Her getting back together with you the first time around had nothing to do with no contact, she came back because, by her own admission, she couldn't stop thinking about you, which means she wasn't 100% sure the breakup was what she wanted.

No contact is not used to get an ex back. This is just a crook invented by some smart asses who decided to make some money exploiting people's desperation and desire to get back the relationships they lost. They spread so much misinformation all over the net it's not even funny, and have capitalized on giving people false hope and leading them towards making a series of mistakes that leave them even more disappointed and empty in the end.

No contact is used so the dumpee could move on from the dumper, forever, for good. It will never bring the dumpee back. The dumpers who have ever come back did so because of completely different reasons, that had zero to do with the dumpees practicing the no contact rule. The reason the no contact rule works to help you move on is that by staying in contact with the person who dumped you, all you're doing is prolong your own suffering and delaying your healing process. Once you distance yourself from the one who dumped you, you start healing and seeing that things are not as bad as you thought they were, and you are finally able to take the dumper off their pedestal.

Your relationship sounds like it wasn't working anyway, since this is the second time she breaks up with you. Read that book, "It's called a breakup because it's broken"...it's helpful. There is no point trying to resuscitate a relationship that isn't worth resuscitating; if yours was a healthy relationship, she wouldn't have ended it twice. That she did means that something is not working for her, you two are not compatible and you both need to find yourselves better matched partners.

Use the no contact rule, by all means, but not to get her back. Use it so you can heal and get yourself ready for a healthier relationship with someone else.

I recently was on a break with my girlfriend. I initiated the break then after a couple of days broke no contact.

Here is what I learned:

1) if I didn't break no contact, I probably would have waited a long time for her to get back in touch. Either that or she may not have at all. Like me she was waiting for me to break it.

2) when I broke no contact I told her directly 'I have had a couple of days to think about everything let's call each other'. We then had a frank discussion about everything which helped.

3) no contact if anything was helping me cool down from our arguments. It also helped me put things into perspective- this was the main benefit from doing it. As others have mentioned.

We are still together right now.

I recently was on a break with my girlfriend. I initiated the break then after a couple of days broke no contact.

 

Here is what I learned:

 

1) if I didn't break no contact, I probably would have waited a long time for her to get back in touch. Either that or she may not have at all. Like me she was waiting for me to break it.

 

2) when I broke no contact I told her directly 'I have had a couple of days to think about everything let's call each other'. We then had a frank discussion about everything which helped.

 

3) no contact if anything was helping me cool down from our arguments. It also helped me put things into perspective- this was the main benefit from doing it. As others have mentioned.

 

We are still together right now.

Fine line between cooling off and NC.

I recently was on a break with my girlfriend. I initiated the break then after a couple of days broke no contact.

 

Here is what I learned:

 

1) if I didn't break no contact, I probably would have waited a long time for her to get back in touch. Either that or she may not have at all. Like me she was waiting for me to break it.

 

2) when I broke no contact I told her directly 'I have had a couple of days to think about everything let's call each other'. We then had a frank discussion about everything which helped.

 

3) no contact if anything was helping me cool down from our arguments. It also helped me put things into perspective- this was the main benefit from doing it. As others have mentioned.

 

We are still together right now.

Completely different situation. You were on a break that you initiated because you needed some space to think. OP was broken up with twice by his ex.

A couple of days isn't NC, that's a breather.

Guys the problem here is not with us it was more like with long distance where i couldnt see her all the time but i mean i know thats a legit problem. The reason we got back together was because i was home for the summer so obviously that problem fixed itself. Thats why im just having trouble just like completely forgetting the relationship because distance is seriously the only one.

A couple of days isn't NC, that's a breather.

Yeah sure, but if I wanted to we could have extended it so that it was beyond just being a breather.

Completely different situation. You were on a break that you initiated because you needed some space to think. OP was broken up with twice by his ex.

Fair enough - come to think of it, when my ex gf said 'I need space, it's not you, it's me' it lead to a fully fledged break up.

Do you two go away to university and often only see each other weekends but more often on summer break? Why not just resume dating next summer when distance isn't a recurrent issue?

NC is unrelated when the problem is distance and the solution is summer break.

The reason we got back together was because i was home for the summer so obviously that problem fixed itself.

Guys the problem here is not with us it was more like with long distance where i couldnt see her all the time but i mean i know thats a legit problem. The reason we got back together was because i was home for the summer so obviously that problem fixed itself. Thats why im just having trouble just like completely forgetting the relationship because distance is seriously the only one.

If distance was her reason and you are still apart, how does nc or anything else short of moving back to where she is resolve that problem?

Because my ex was used to having me around she kind of panics and doesnt really think out the break up or how to fix the problem. Thats what led to her wanting me back last time. Honestly i probably wouldnt take her back if she wanted to but id like the option for the future at least.

Because my ex was used to having me around she kind of panics and doesnt really think out the break up or how to fix the problem. Thats what led to her wanting me back last time. Honestly i probably wouldnt take her back if she wanted to but id like the option for the future at least.

Is this just an ego thing? You talk about her still loving you, and her wanting you back last time, and you're saying you wouldn't even take her back now but maybe in the future. You don't talk about you loving her or missing her or how you feel about her at all. Keeping her on a string as a future option isn't right. Hopefully I've misread your tone, but that last sentence bugs me.

Honestly i probably wouldnt take her back if she wanted to but id like the option for the future at least.

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WHERE would we be without YOU on here Wiseman.

Laughter can indeed be the best medicine.

Wow lol

You broke up twice for the same reason and you think if you get back together a third time things will magically work out? Why? The definition of insanity is repeating the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Just saying.

What has changed that you think if you decide to choose option A (her) IF she comes back, it will work out?

Is school over, have you permanently moved back to where she lives?

Well i do want her back just dont know how to go about it

If someone breaks up with you, don't contact them for any reason, ever again... If someone dumps you and you called them after weeks, months, years, you will still look weak and pathetic, you're still pursuing and chasing. Have some self respect...

What if they never contact you? So be it.. You are not that important to them.