Ex of 3 yrs broke up - i feel like she may want me back

3 year GF. Sent me email Aug 7 wanting to breakup. She started talking to this new guy immediately, although she had met him in a store a month prior, she was Facebook searching him for a month but i know for a fact they weren't talking. We made love, were kind of "fine", then Sept 2 I find out about him, immediately pushes her away (I had called him to find out who he was). 2 days begging etc. Sept 5 I ended up spending a nice day with her, we even slept together (no sex). Off and on NC for two weeks after. We spoke Sept 7 (3 hour FaceTime). Sept 14 (3 hour FaceTime). Sept 17 (3 hour FaceTime).

All of these contacts initiated by her. Since then, she calls, texts, snaps (I was able to open without snapchat letting her know that I opened). Sept 25 I receive voicemail crying saying she didn't want it to end, she didn't want to lose me, wish i didn't let go etc. I texted her later that night. Nothing really came of it, she's still confused, misses me, scared of coming back that I will resent her and never forgive her for the other guy. She even texted some cute stuff ("hehe", pictures of herself). Clearly still wants me. I reiterated I don't want her contacting me unless she's intentional. She is still calling, face timing, texting, snapchatting.

Content of snapchat (she doesn't know I opened cuz I have a trick), she says she's proud of me, she loves to see I'm investing in others, then asks if she can visit (she lives 3 hours away). This is presumable in response to positive things on my snapchat story.

I feel as though I have not done NC long enough, and I do not sense a great commitment on her part yet. Heres the thing. The guy she met is in DC (where were from). She goes to school in AL, I go to school in GA. She is going to DC next week for the anniversary of her brothers death. She is undoubtably seeing him. I am going to be in Miami at the same time. Should I maybe see if she wants to come this weekend and "win her back" before she sees the other guy next week? I was planning on having her come after all of that to see where she is.

I am afraid if she's the other guy, they may get that much more serious. She only saw him in person 3 times, 2 times briefly. But they do text regularly and know they're into each other, at least that was the case 3 weeks ago when I first found out.

Ever been fishin and you catch fish and keep them on the rope stringer until you're done fishing? She's trying to keep you strung up like a fish.

Move on.

Clearly not going well with Mr New, is it? I'd block her everywhere, without warning, and move on with my life if I were you.

Unfortunately it sounds like she's doing some overlapping and was trying out this guy a month before she officially broke up. Now she's in back and forth mode because she may not have solidified things with him.

She may accept your invite but then will still be with this guy she's trying things out with up in DC and then it's out of your hands again and you may get another "so confused love you but can't be with you la la la" type email.

She started talking to this new guy immediately, although she had met him in a store a month prior, she was Facebook searching him for a month

I would not be inviting her, she's the one that wants to drive 3h to see me. So it'd be more like me accepting her invitation. Yeah about a month where they were talking and I was there, but it was mostly all over text as she came to AL...and I know it didn't really get any "serious" until a few days before I found out about him.

I will go with continued NC. I promised id call next wednesday anyway, the day her brother was killed by a drunk driver in a car crash..will keep it short. Since it will be her first time really seeing him, I think ill have a clearer picture where her heart is after her trip.

The other guy is a total downgrade in just about every department. its quite laughable, and she knows it. Apparently he's just really sweet.

We did have quite a bond though. I am sort of just waiting to see how quickly her baggage will break the other dude. If only he knew. Her texts the other night were a different tone than a month ago, so I know something is changing in her heart. They're increasing in regularity, niceness, makes me just want to avoid contact even more to see when she'll tip. Only reason i posted on here. In a way, I almost know for a fact she will come back. Its just a matter of when, and if I would accept it. I have already accepted the break up, I am more of in an anger phase thinking about how she betrayed me, doesn't change the fact i still love her, id give her the chance to at least explain herself.

Honestly the consistent vibe I've gotten from her throughout all of this, is that more than anything, it seems she's so scared because I was verbally abusive first 2 years of our relationship. She's scared I will go back to that after this. In addition to resentment and if I could ever forgive her. Ive stopped sharing feelings, intentions, how things would change (she constantly asks this). If she wants to come back, she knows what she needs to know.

See how it goes and if you can forgive and move on and really want her back.

How do you see this moving forward?

Apparently he's just really sweet.

Well since she has already done the "try before you buy" thing once and it isnt really going the way she hoped for, it looks like you are the lucky guy she has to fall back on when all else fails. So if you get back with her, how long is it till she meets another guy in a shop and decides she needs to "try before she buys" again and again and again, until she eventually finds the one.

Do yourself a favour and dump this drama quenn

See how it goes and if you can forgive and move on and really want her back.

 

How do you see this moving forward? ]

 

Haha are you saying he could be so sweet she sticks to him? I mean what guy isn't sweet in a honeymoon phase....lol

 

Well since she has already done the "try before you buy" thing once and it isnt really going the way she hoped for, it looks like you are the lucky guy she has to fall back on when all else fails. So if you get back with her, how long is it till she meets another guy in a shop and decides she needs to "try before she buys" again and again and again, until she eventually finds the one.

 

Do yourself a favour and dump this drama quenn

 

 

I avoided posting on this forum and preferred just reading past experiences for this reason. Every couple is different and I could write a book about us but for some background info: I struggled with affirming love for her. Im that way with my family, and those I am emotionally close with, i subconsciously put up a wall around my heart and can become cold out of fear of being vulnerable to those that I love. This is something I've learned about myself in my introspection over the last few weeks, I've been working on being better at affirmation with my family and controlling that tendency. For that reason, she felt that I didn't love her, I showed my care in different ways. Everyone has their own love language. Straw that really broke the camels back: I was on a month and a half long road trip and she was convinced I "abandoned" her. She could not join the road trip. Mind you, I have taken this girl on many lavish vacations, vacations that I know will forever mean the world to her. She was emotionally insecure, I would always say your insecurity is going to tear us apart...and it sort of did. She didn't trust I loved her. So she met this guy when I was away on my trip. We have been mostly long distance for 3 years, we know how to handle it, and we've been faithful to each other. What was different this time is that my road trip was so busy and packed, I didn't make time to contact her. I was literally moving non stop for a month and a half crossing the country, driving. I literally had no time to rest, whole month I didn't catch up on news or anything I was so incredibly busy. That tipped her over. She really wanted to come on the trip. Didn't help that month prior we were also apart with completely different schedules so we weren't talking as much as normal, save for a trip we went on for our anniversary in June.

 

Also should point out, her brothers sudden death severely impacted our relationship. I wasn't there as I should be and she never really forgave me for it for 2 years. She has been depressed and erroneously blaming it on me. I always told her it had to come from within, she will soon figure it out I hope. She was just diagnosed with PTSD 2 weeks ago and it explains a lot of her behavior last two years since his death.

Also want to share, few days after breakup I told her to apply to jobs in Atlanta...just in case.

She seems to be doing that, had asked if I want to see her when she comes for job interviews. Just received a text that she's applying for two jobs in Atlanta. Of course I have no proof, but she would have no other reason to pursue a career in this town except for the fact I currently live here. Still haven't responded to her messages.

 

The other guy is a total downgrade in just about every department. its quite laughable, and she knows it. Apparently he's just really sweet.

 

This matter a lot more than men (and women) realize...

This matter a lot more than men (and women) realize...

I suppose so. I mean she thinks I'm sweet too. From what I understand, I don't think he's a bad person, and fully realize that she could fall for him and end up being with him for months. I am just imagining she has too much unresolved baggage. The problems from our relationship will inevitably flare up with him, if they even make it that far. She acknowledged her shortcomings in our relationship but honestly don't think she's serious enough about them that they would ever be addressed unless she has some alone time.

Yesterday she called me 5 times (130PM, 2x 11PM, 1AM, 2AM), 3rd phone call leaving a voicemail saying she's thinking about me and wants to know how I'm doing and that she wants to talk about "things" and to call her back. Sounded really somber, I figure if its so important she'd be more intentional.

Also in response to an earlier comment from Wiseman2 that if she had come this weekend she would have still saw the other guy in DC. Fully aware that would have happened regardless.

Regarding the attached photo below. Sent me that last night. Each message after 12:10AM was sent 30 min after the last. To me, this seems like she wants to reconcile, even though she's hilariously not being "clear" per her question. Forgiveness and commitment are two separate things, although I think if she was merely asking for forgiveness she would, not send a photo of a coupon out of a cute gift I gave her last valentines day. You guys think I should go ahead and see what she has to say i.e. break NC?

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Regarding the attached photo below. Sent me that last night. Each message after 12:10AM was sent 30 min after the last. To me, this seems like she wants to reconcile, even though she's hilariously not being "clear" per her question. Forgiveness and commitment are two separate things, although I think if she was merely asking for forgiveness she would, not send a photo of a coupon out of a cute gift I gave her last valentines day. You guys think I should go ahead and see what she has to say i.e. break NC?

 

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Ah sure whats the worst thing that could happen, what could possibly go wrong. Except for getting your head and emotions all messed up again. You seem to want too get in touch, yo can ask people on the site what they think, the decision still comes down to you, so what do you want to do

Ah sure whats the worst thing that could happen, what could possibly go wrong. Except for getting your head and emotions all messed up again. You seem to want too get in touch, yo can ask people on the site what they think, the decision still comes down to you, so what do you want to do

Im thinking maybe she isn't being up front because of her pride and ego. At the same time, I feel like NC hasn't been long enough, and I have to call her on wednesday anyway (brothers death). She goes home to DC Tuesday. Don't want her to resent me for continuing to ignore her. As far as emotions, like I said, if she was just asking for forgiveness, why would she send me a photo of the coupon book...

She follows me on snapchat and watches my story. Today I noticed she went back and re watched my story from yesterday, I know this because she screenshotted a cute photo of my face..

Im thinking maybe she isn't being up front because of her pride and ego. At the same time, I feel like NC hasn't been long enough, and I have to call her on wednesday anyway (brothers death). She goes home to DC Tuesday. Don't want her to resent me for continuing to ignore her. As far as emotions, like I said, if she was just asking for forgiveness, why would she send me a photo of the coupon book...

 

She follows me on snapchat and watches my story. Today I noticed she went back and re watched my story from yesterday, I know this because she screenshotted a cute photo of my face..

Yeah, Id say call her about her brother that would be respectful at least. I remember i broke up with an ex, a few weeks later her father died. I didnt get in touch with her (long story & it wasnt the time to) but I went to the funeral and wrote her a letter / card etc. It was the best I could do in the situation.

But as regards of the rest of your post, I would think about it, like you are already apart a while, have you found being without her is a benefit to you? Are you even sure you would like to be back with her? Like if you did would you be happy or would you have a constant thing in the back of your head, wondering about the if and when?

Yeah, Id say call her about her brother that would be respectful at least. I remember i broke up with an ex, a few weeks later her father died. I didnt get in touch with her (long story & it wasnt the time to) but I went to the funeral and wrote her a letter / card etc. It was the best I could do in the situation.

 

But as regards of the rest of your post, I would think about it, like you are already apart a while, have you found being without her is a benefit to you? Are you even sure you would like to be back with her? Like if you did would you be happy or would you have a constant thing in the back of your head, wondering about the if and when?

Yeah the call is happening regardless, I'm just wondering if I should respond later tonight regarding her message from last night. I just hope it wouldn't be me confirming to her that "I'm still there".

I mean its been tough, and I have been working on myself, but she's a great companion and my best friend and want to have her beside me in life as a partner and to accompany my improving self. It depends on what she has to say about herself, I think she needs to work on herself too.

I don't understand the bolded part. If I was with her, what if and when what would i be wondering about lol?

Oh right haha, what I meant by that was, if and when she, (if even) decides to send you another email to dump you. I just have a thing about going back to someone who does the dumping, I would always feel, well me personally, that this could happen again. I was dumped once and went back with the person who dumped me, I knew when I was going back it was a bad idea because I had a constant thought of when was she going to do it again. It was the worst decision I ever made.

So thats my personal story, I dont know you or your girlfriend, so I cant say it will be the same for you two. You know her better than I do and you in a better place to make that decision

How long has this no contact been going on?

From reading your posts, it seems like you're reading her snapchats and face timing. So...that's not "no contact".

How long has this no contact been going on?

 

From reading your posts, it seems like you're reading her snapchats and face timing. So...that's not "no contact".

Well she doesn't know I read her snapchats, and the last FaceTime was sept 17, and from Sept 5 until sept 17 it was mostly NC, going days without talking to her. I guess I mean more than anything, as far as shes concerned, there hasn't been contact.

Oh right haha, what I meant by that was, if and when she, (if even) decides to send you another email to dump you. I just have a thing about going back to someone who does the dumping, I would always feel, well me personally, that this could happen again. I was dumped once and went back with the person who dumped me, I knew when I was going back it was a bad idea because I had a constant thought of when was she going to do it again. It was the worst decision I ever made.

 

So thats my personal story, I dont know you or your girlfriend, so I cant say it will be the same for you two. You know her better than I do and you in a better place to make that decision

Yeah I think I could pick up on it real fast if that were the case. Hell, for the entire month of August I had this suspicion, no idea why, because she was unhappy and my inability to affirm her, I kept asking if she was getting that fulfillment elsewhere in her life because she had kept saying other people were complimenting her more etc.

The whole break up was strange in a way because I don't think she meant for it to happen, which I know makes it sound worse but the situation was really ty. And its not like I can't trust her when I am away because we know how to do long distance and that has worked fine for 3 years, this summer had different circumstances, and quite frankly, she messed up. She knows it, so I wonder how she would explain it. She texted me last week saying if we got back together she would want to marry me. I thought it was strange because you either want to or not, not "if"... we'll see where this goes...

Additionally, she already knows if we were to get back together, it would be a process...I'd like to see her be by herself for a bit working on herself. If she can stay committed without me being "there" thats how I would know its a real. Its been a mere month, and she hasn't even seen that other guy in person yet and she's sending me that text. I do know they're still talking though, at least I can imagine they are, he liked one of her Facebook pictures today, but I imagine that flame has dimmed. Partly either because she talked about me too much or she realized she made a mistake when I removed myself from the picture.

Well she doesn't know I read her snapchats, and the last FaceTime was sept 17, and from Sept 5 until sept 17 it was mostly NC, going days without talking to her. I guess I mean more than anything, as far as shes concerned, there hasn't been contact.

 

 

 

Around here, even THINKING about your ex is violating this famous No Contact "rule"...

Hey everyone. Wanted to give an update on my situation because it got interesting, but nothing surprising as I predicted it all.

So her sending me that coupon ended up just being a breadcrumb, when I responded, she closed up because I didn't respond earlier, which is a bunch of BS because it's not like we were going to get back together at that point anyway. We spoke on Oct 5 on FaceTime for 15 min. She was showering me with compliments about how attractive I was, she misses me, loves me, etc the usual. She also says that she's pretty much "decided" what she wants. Which is me. Which is what I saw coming a month ago when we broke up, no surprise there. For the next two days she starts getting more and more warm with me. I essentially stopped NC at this point. She was being all cute over text, saying all the usual stuff, basically that she's pretty much decided but needed a few more days.

I had a big issue with this (unknown to her) because I knew what a few more days meant, weekend was coming, and she was gonna see the guy in DC for the first time, and they would probably hook up etc. I had a mental clock in my head that if she waited for that, it'd be too late, but for 48 hours I went into NC, never even brought up the guy or signaled that I knew what she was doing. I didn't want to affect anything, I wanted her to want me period and didn't want to push her to him.

So obviously I knew they were together Friday afternoon to some time Saturday, she didn't know I knew but she knows I'm smart so maybe she did. Like clockwork, like I'd predicted a month prior, she blows up my phone with calls, voicemails, emails, texts, other social media messages saying that she wants me and that she's committed. I was really put off because it wasn't like she thought about it after seeing him or told me before she saw him, she did all this presumably as she was leaving him!! Like clockwork!! Like as if it was planned! Because in the days/weeks before she was basically saying she wanted me but not 100% committing! I didn't respond to anything right away. When I did respond later that day she got all hurt cuz she didn't get the response she expected, and response time. I wanted to tell her so bad that she was literally about 12 hours too late, and my reaction shouldn't affect your commitment to me. She was like you didn't react like I expected I thought you'd answer my call and we'd have a "moment". Yeah right like we would have a moment after she just hooked up with another guy.

I didn't know for sure she did, but I have a damn good intuition, and also, had a damn good feeling she may have even spent the night with him (actually didn't expect that second part until Saturday itself based off how she was speaking to me).

So past few days were shaky, because her "commitment" was honestly really flakey, and I thought she was still confused, which until at least Monday evening, I think she actually was still confused about what she wanted! She wasn't acting committed, basically acting as if I should be doing the heavy lifting in making it work. She figured out pretty soon I wasn't going to be her sucker. I avoided discussing the other guy so as to not make it about him, but I would let slip when he did come up phrases about them hooking up, which she never denied so it basically confirmed something happened. Eventually she'd say I don't think you'll forgive me (she's been saying this for weeks just generally), but now she was saying about specifically "all that has happened" in DC. If you were so concerned before hand, why'd you make it worse? Lol. I asked her what happened, she said she didn't feel comfortable talking about it. I didn't push it and moved on knowing it will eventually come out.

So I guess she eventually got shocked at one point that we were discussing moving forward (and I wasn't asking about the hook up) and she says "what do u mean by hook up" and "does it matter to you what happened" etc etc, so I bring it up again, she again says she didn't feel comfortable talking about it.

We FaceTime, shortly after, and she still doesn't feel comfortable. I put my foot down and I said I need to know if we're gonna move forward. She really didn't want to tell me, was trying to hide it until she eventually gave in. She was like you know what happened, and I truthfully didn't, so I started guessing.

I asked if they had sex, she still is beating around the bush, I ask again, she says very quickly and softly "yes". I thought maybe it was spontaneous etc etc, but then I found out they did this before dinner! And then I ask, did you guys also have sex after dinner, she goes maybe (in like a way that she means yes but she's ashamed to say it outright). So they had sex twice in one day! Before / after dinner! That's intense! That's what couples do! And it was completely premeditated because she was planned all along to spend the night with him! She literally drove to his place, hung for a few hours, had sex, dinner, sex again, slept with him, then left him next afternoon!

Looking back at my texts, in between the two sex sessions, she had texted me that she misses me and loves me! Next morning when she wakes up she texts me about a trip I'm taking to Miami, asking which flights I booked cuz she wanted to join me! After fornicating with him!

I'm shocked because this was obviously all planned for her to spend the night, and u don't have sex twice accidentally. Alcohol was apparently not really involved, besides a glass of champagne.

Her reasoning for a lot of this is she let this guy come between us, and when I found out about him they were "too far along". BS. She felt that she had to give him a fair chance, apparently that meant test driving the d*ck too. Like if this caused us to split, she may as well give it a fair chance. Here's my issue though...she knew she wanted to get back with me, but did it anyway! She knew I told her I would not get back with her if she touched him, she knew she wanted me, but had sex with him twice anyway! Instead of giving him a fair chance in a normal casual encounter, it was very physical (no surprise), but what changed everything was the fact that she wanted me, but did that anyway. She says she had to block me out, which I believe cuz she can do that. Apparently not super successful because she texted me what she texted when she was with him.

I told her my biggest issue was the fact that she knew she wanted me, told me, but did what she did anyway. It's not like she really thought we were over and was just being single. I told her I have to stand by my word, respect myself, and that there is a large disconnect between her words, and obviously her actions which scream something else entirely. I said we could not be together anymore. She self inflicted it, she had me Friday morning before she saw him, but decided to throw it away. Basically, consciously or not, she wanted those few more days to basically hook up with him guilt free!

This girl is so broken, her brothers death by a drunk driver destroyed her emotionally, it changed her. She had so much pain, I made it worse by not being there like I should have. I was verbally abusive especially from about month 7 to about month 28 of our 3 yr relationship. Last 6 months of our relationship we didn't see each other much, I went on a cross country road trip alone which killed her, we didn't make much memories those last 6 months. They just weren't good. She had also been telling me for much of that time that she wasn't happy and didn't feel loved because I didn't affirm her. She felt alone. She held a lot of hurt toward me, and even though we are LDR, she still wants me back. I wasn't a good boyfriend, but I am an incredible guy, and I think that's what draws her to me. So it says something that amongst our incredible memories (again, LDR, so not many), there was so much pain and hurt I caused her in between. She was so unhappy. I knew that. So she did what you'd expect, she got attached to the next guy that showered her with attention. But I didn't expect that, I kept telling her that her happiness has to come from within.

I should also add she thought I had sex with someone because she asked two weeks ago if I had sex with any girls from my yoga class, to which I said I'm not answering that, because it wasn't her business. She took that to mean as yes obviously, even though the answer is no. And apparently it was a "part" of the reason she did what she did. Silly, I know. I said I'm not answering, not that I did. We weren't together. I didn't want to give her a reason to have sex (which guess I did anyway) nor make her feel like she still "had me"

For a little background, basically she met this guy randomly in a store. She sent me a break up email aug 7, she started talking to that guy then, she strung me along thru August, things got more serious with him, sept 2 I find out about him, we break up for real this time, and partly because she said she couldn't come back to me because she was too far with him (BS) and she said I couldn't forgive her, and she couldn't either, and it was easier to have a fresh clean slate with someone else. Also that she was scared and she couldn't bear the look on my face when I found out so that's basically why she ran into the other direction. She sent me an email this morning which I will post separately, with my commentary.

I owe you an apology. Last night broke my heart because I never thought we would truly be over. probably why she felt confident doing what she did I believed you were my soulmate. I believed we would have forever. I believed we would have a family and the two of us would be wildly successful- a power couple with a power family. That's how I saw my future playing out. Over the past six months, I have become emotionally detached to many things, not just you. Sometimes, I just feel frozen and as if this life doesn't matter. If it can be stolen in an instance, then what are we even living for? shes referring to her brothers death I apologize for subconsciously freezing you out and for hurting you beyond what I ever thought I could do. Last night, you asked me how I could do that to you. referring to having sex with him I do not have a good answer and no excuse would ever measure up. Yet, through taking a good, hard look at myself, I think I did it out of pain and hurt. Hurt people hurt people. That might not make sense because this last month you have been beyond gracious and shown me care and love that I will never forget. My hurt comes from our three years together. It was not to spite you. It was because I felt empty. There was such a void in my life without you and there is today. It hurts like hell and I think I went 100% in the other direction to try and see if that void could be filled. I should have known better. I didn't want you at the same time to take advantage of you. basically referring to stringing me along I wanted you because I love you in the deepest part of my soul. You are part of me. I am part of you. We were never married but might as well have been. I couldn't (and still can't) forgive myself for hurting you so deeply not the sex at this point, but talking to another guy and emotionally cheating and so I wanted to go the opposite way even though I still wanted you. I didn't process my feelings and blocked everything out. I was in that mode the whole week last week, the week where she said she wanted me almost 100% for sure, but had sex with him anyway. I wish I had not or I wouldn't have done what I did. Had sexI take full responsibility. Being honest about what I did was the hardest thing I have ever done. i mean I had to get it out of her but she would have told me anyway at least eventually In a weird, ed up way, that is how much I love you. I care about YOU more than anything. I couldn't lie to you even though it would have been easier for me and I would have had you. You deserve more. You deserve the world. I wanted to give that to you and I still do. I know it is something that I could never expect you to forgive. I know that. So, this is my last time contacting you. I want you to know that if you didn't say the words "ever" then I would be driving to Atlanta tomorrow. I said we couldn't be together "ever", and drive to me from 3 hours away which is what she did regularly when we were togetherI don't want you to see me as disappearing as not going all out and trying to make things better. I am trying to respect your wishes of never wanting to be with a "girl like me". i didn't shame her at all and was nice but said I don't want to be with someone that is capable of what she did. Have sex with someone if she loves someone else. Have sex with someone when she knew she wanted me If you ever change your mind and you decide to work on us, please let me know. I don't need to sell myself because you know what I could give you. I would take care of you until the day you die and be the best wife in the world to you. I would be intentional in blessing you every single day of our forever. But, again, I won't try to sell myself. This is up to you. I don't have expectations on you because I know it is so incredibly horrible and painful. I am sorry. I am so so so sorry. I have never been more sorry of anything in all my life. If you could ever let me back in, call me. I will always love you and have you in my heart. If you let me back, I will never let go of you. But, I respect your wishes.

I sincerely wish you the world and that I could be with you this moment and all those to come.

Respectfully,

[name redacted]

What should I do?? One part of me sorta wants her to come tomorrow, just for fun, show her what she threw away and because I of course still do love her, but I'm not quite sure. As usual my heart and head are speaking two different languages, but I just can't stomach the sex with the other guy just a month after we broke up considering it was only their third time physically seeing each other, even though they've been flirting intensely for at least a month.

I realize most of you think she deserves no chance, which is true. The only thing that's picking at me is that she really is broken from her life experiences. She's emotionally unstable, so regardless, she needs time on her own.

I forgot to add, another thing that prevented me from diving in is that she still is talking to him. I was like if you're committed then you would have cut him out already. She supposedly really scared to hurt him too because apparently he may actually be falling in love with her. I told her the first step would have to be to get closure with him and let him know what's going on and don't string him along like you did to me. Like she expected me to be so happy about her coming back, how could I when they're still chatting. According to her, even though he's still flirtatious, especially that they have gone so far on the first real date I bet he's going nuts over her, she being a little cold with him.

Ahh I keep adding more but I should also say I was pretty controlling. However, it was far worse earlier in the relationship and that I had gotten much better about it.

She has major insecurity problems, some of which may stem from us being in a mixed attractiveness/intelligence relationship. Don't get me wrong, she's beautiful and smart, but she always feels less than me. The rebound was a complete downgrade, as I've said earlier, in the looks and intelligence department. Can't speak for his personality but I'm sure it was glowing.