Very confused on if my husband is gay/bisexual

I've been with my husband for 5 years, we have a son together. Sex life is really great, still is. He's always been ok handing me over his phone whenever so I never suspected anything. His phone ended up breaking so I let him use my iPad. One day he went to work, I plugged it in & when it turned on I seen he had searched gay porn. First time it happened. I confronted him about it, he said he was bored, he was searching everything. During sex he likes anal simulation, but never putting anything as far as I know. I've seen on Facebook he was "poking" this guy, who is gay but is also a cross dresser. Now the reason I'm asking is because I recently seen photos in his phone that he took of himself. Wearing a pair of MY leather leggings (he's obsessed with leather so I wouldn't normally care) but he was also sitting right dainty, legs crossed, hand on his lap, head tilted. Totally not like him, he's a rough & tough mechanic type guy. I thought maybe it was a joke but I could just tell it's not. How do I bring it up! He likes to turn things around on me all the time & start arguments. Idk what to do!

He's bisexual.

Why not ask him about it? You know this man better than any of us, who don't know him at all. Time to communicate.

So you discovered your husband is a bisexual cross-dresser. That's touchy.

I think there will be no easy or appropriate way to bring this up. The good thing is that you didn't do any sort of spying or invade his privacy in any way, you just sort of discovered things through his own laziness in hiding it from you, so you don't need to worry about the tables turning on you in that way. I think you just have to do it, tell him what you found and ask him for an honest explanation.

Ask yourself first though, what would you do or feel if he is in fact bisexual? What's your next step if he says yes, what's your next step if he says no. I'd prepare for what happens after the conversation rather than the conversation itself, which just has to happen.

It sounds like he's got some hidden fetishes, not gay or bi . Rather than act shocked maybe start talking about each others fantasies rather than confront him directly if he will just argue..

I've been with my husband for 5 years, we have a son together. Sex life is really great, still is. I recently seen photos in his phone that he took of himself. Wearing a pair of MY leather leggings (he's obsessed with leather so I wouldn't normally care) but he was also sitting right dainty, legs crossed, hand on his lap, head tilted.

You think so? He does have a leather fetish. Not sure if it would ever happen but we did joke about bringing in a 3rd person sometime. He was all for it. Guy or girl. That was pretty helpful, thank you

During sex he likes anal simulation

Ok, everything else is fairly conclusive that he's at least a cross-dresser, but the above means nothing. Anal stimulation in men is pleasureable and nothing that's tied to orientation.

I think you should have an honest conversation about things you would like to try in bed. if he likes leather or whatever - it really doesn't matter unless you feel violated/uncomfortable about introducing it into the bedroom as long as he or you don't bring another person into it. If you are committed to eachother - and just have different fantasies - fantasies are fantasies and don't necessarily need to be acted upon. So if he feels comfortable sharing and you feel comfortable trying things - then go for it. But if actually desires to be with a man at the risk of his marriage - then I am afraid the marriage might have a shelf life. Don't assume the worst yet, though.

@Wiseman, what no meme? You're slipping...

Kaycnal- This has to be pretty frustrating and I'm sorry you have to go through this. At this point, I really don't think you need a smoking gun. You certainly have an abundance of evidence. I would write everything down and bring it to him. I wouldn't make it sound like an interrogation, but more that you're concerned. This could be a curious phase that has manifested itself. Or perhaps there is more to it. I wouldn't lead him with any questions but let him explain his feelings. If you say, "is this experimental?", then he's more than likely going to go back what he had told you initially. (About being bored.)

It sounds like it's causing you stress. I would try find a time to broach the subject and find out what's really going on.

The problem is, he may not know himself. In any case, I would talk to someone and find out how you would handle the possible outcomes.

Good luck.

I like anal play and anal stimulation and Im a straight male. I love women.

However I wouldnt be dressing up with womens clothes or contacting gay men online. Your husband sounds like he has some hidden fetishes or might be bisexual.

I suppose open communication, honesty and lots of talking will show you whats really going on here.