Want to break up... Again?

Ok so we've been going out for a year now, we broke up like a month ago and I was the one to break up with him and get back together with him, at the time I felt like I made a bad decision breaking up with him but now I feel like the real bad decision was getting back together.

We are long distance, he lives 177 miles away, we used to visit each other quite a lot but recently we haven't since I just haven't wanted to. I've began having a shorter fuse with him and getting annoyed at his little habits.

A few months ago I accepted my first job, when I told him he kept saying how it means I won't be able to visit as much and stuff about how it will negatively effect the relationship etc and ruined it for me I was so excited since I've wanted a part time job since I was like 13, the main reason I wanted a job was to meet new people and make friends since I barely have any friends and I used to just stay in all the time, he knew that and he knew getting a job would solve that (and it has) yet he still wanted to on it as if he would be happier if I was still upset a lot but we still hung out a lot. It just really upsets me that he did that, I was excited about something and he ruined it for me.

I've never really felt like he was the one.

I know we definitely should break up, I know it's the right thing to do but I'm just scared and can't bring myself to do it again. I know I said I was lonely before the job but I still am really, I have people to have funny conversations with at work but not really anyone to care about me and help me when I'm upset so I guess I'm scared because I don't want to be left with nothing and be all alone. I have a friend who kind of cares but she always changes the conversation to be about herself even if I'm talking about something I'm upset about.

What can I do about being lonely when we break up? Would getting a hobby help?

Think of it this way it gets just as lonely being in a long distance, unsatisfying, on/off relationship as it does being alone for a while. But look at the upshot...you will be free to pursue something local that you are happy with.

So yes sometimes it's a step backward to take a leap forward.

Yes keep busy with hobbies, interests, sports, friends, family, coworkers, groups, some adult classes, etc. It will be fun and you will make friends and perhaps increase your chances of meeting a better match.

I feel like the real bad decision was getting back together. he lives 177 miles away

I dont know how you can be lonely if you are in a relationship with someone who is 170 miles away, its not like he there to help you right now, so what I am saying is there is no point of feeling that way when you cant physically be with him anyway unless you go visit. So I would yourself a favour and just do it and break up.

Yes get a hobby, you will meet people that way, you will meet people you can be with and probably meet with someone to fall in love with nearer to you.

What I took out of what you wrote is that this guy is happy to have you isolated and stay that way, why else would he be like that when you got a job, maybe he is worried you might find someone closer to where you live.

There doesnt sound like very much to this relationship to be honest

" I've began having a shorter fuse with him and getting annoyed at his little habits. "

- So often.. things do not work out second time around either.

Had anything changed.. or improved? No.

Also the fact that I'm sure someone's stil probably a little ticked at the original BU and often is the case that 'feelings' are not the same as first round...

In a way I think being single would be good for me just to be able to be free to do what I want. I learn Spanish and I go to the gym so that should keep me occupied and stop me from being so lonely. I have a feeling it'll be a while till I get into another relationship since I live in such a small place but I should try to enjoy myself without having a boyfriend. Thanks