Social Media and Relationships

So I've noticed that views on social media in relationships vary greatly from person to person. Ive recently been having an issue with my boyfriend where he will like profile pictures of his best female friend but not ones of me. I tested this trend today, she had uploaded a photo this morning so I decided to upload one of my own, and she got a like from my bf but I didn't. I'm not worried about him cheating, he only likes her profile photos (which she only changes once every 5 months or so) I just don't understand why he doesn't like mine. I'm not gonna make a big deal about it to him I just find it curious. While we are stated as in a relationship on Facebook, there is really no evidence of it beyond that. I have one photo of us together from a year ago, and he has written a handful of statuses about me. Instagram has 5 photos of me all from over a year ago. And Twitter only has one photo from us, again from over a year ago. This was only slightly irksome to me until recently. His ex came out of the woodwork and started trying to hit him up and was unaware that we were still dating. Men have also tried messaging me to flirt and hook up. Not that either of us would ever indulge these people, but I do think it has something to do with the fact that we are absent from each other's social media accounts. I would post more about him but he has his his profile set so that no pictures that are tagged of him show up on his page, in his photo section, or on his news feed. So I'd feel as if I was looking desperate or weird by posting a picture and essentially having it rejected from his friends view. My boyfriend has made statements that our relationship is really none of anyone else's business and I generally agree..but he used to post things about our relationship in the beginning. He gets jealous when other guys like or comment on my photos, but makes no effort to let anyone know we are still together on social media. What changed? Is this a guy thing?

As a side note: he doesn't post anything including anyone else either, my main question is why his behavior towards posting about me changed? And also how do I make my relationship more known to people so that I don't keep getting messages from men who assume I'm single from a quick view of my profile?

Well, he goes home with you, i think you have the better deal. Don't take electronic conversation too seriously, it's not real.

Based on everything you said, he sounds like a private person who doesn't like posting his private life online and he is consistent with that. He actually lives in real life and in real life, people who need to know, know and the rest, aka randoms online, don't need to know squat.

As for the friend, we are talking her changing a pic a few times a year and I'm guessing your guy actually keeps healthy boundaries and is not chatting with her daily. So liking her pic is just a cheap easy way to say "i'm still your friend", whereas you he sees/talks to/interacts with on some level daily. Not like you need a reminder that you are still together.

As for people hitting on you or him, it doesn't matter if you have a million pics of you and him all over the place, those who want to hit on either will. Heck some sick people actually see breaking up couples as a turn on and a challenge and will choose those in relationships in particular. So not like you can stop or control what other people do.

Focus on keeping your relationship happy in the real world because that's the only part that matters.

Personally? I think you need to live in the real world and stop fussing over FB and social media. If you don't want strangers to look at your profile then make it so that only immediate friends and family can see it (not friends of friends, etc)

FB is the spawn of the devil - it sucks the life out of you and makes you paranoid....

You ignore the messages from men, because people will not stop being attracted to you just because you're in a relationship.

Perhaps he had people trying to interfere when he was originally posting about you?

He is right though, fb friends are generally not important, otherwise we'd spend time with them in real life. Who cares what their opinion is?

I told my partner from the start I would not be friends with him on fb because it can cause issues and people sometimes try to meddle. It's worked fine so far. I think when you spend a lot of time on social media you easily forget that it's just a form of entertainment that can easily create drama.

Is this a LDR? Do you have an in-person relationship? How is the relationship in real life?

I have one photo of us together from a year ago, and he has written a handful of statuses about me.His ex came out of the woodwork and started trying to hit him up and was unaware that we were still dating. I do think it has something to do with the fact that we are absent from each other's social media accounts.

Facebook is taken way too seriously, (imo). Let's get back to the real world...

Try the direct approach and just ask him what's up with that. Until then you can figure and stew and try to read the signs in the stars until the end of time, but nothing gets you an answer like a straight question. "I see you liking your friend's statuses, but never mine. Is there a reason for that and is this something I should be concerned over? Let's talk." Will get you a whole lot farther, even just observing his behavior during the talk will get you a ton farther than speculation.

Otherwise I have no idea what that's about. I don't really do Facebook beyond perfunctory keeping up with old friends and family that lives too far away to really have interactions with in any other way.

The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.

Privacy is becoming a thing of the past and your partner has every right to secure his page the way he does.

I wouldn't worry about it. He comes home to you.

"The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook"

Yes, Stars. That should be put up on a banner.

Wiseman,

It is not a LDR we see each other 3-4 times weekly

I admit I am a little insecure and that is a me issue. I'd appreciate him liking my photos but I won't demand it because it sounds very needy. I also won't demand he begin posting things about us again. But I do however feel insecure when I look at how long ago these posts were made. Almost like he doesn't want to show people we are together anymore? I know that it's my insecurity talking and I'd liked to get over it cause I know social media isn't a big deal. As a poster said above he's very private in most areas, but he does often post about music, shows, sports, or just in general funny things that happened

Ok then just like his posts. Why not post your own stuff about your own life with pic of you two, etc. Not everyone is a social media fanatic and liking a post here and there is a no-brainer.

Enjoy your social media with other friends. Agree you need to stop obsessing about social media and why he's not as obsessed.

Almost like he doesn't want to show people we are together anymore?

I dont like or comment on everything my girlfriend posts on Facebook, sometimes I dont like the photos she puts up of the kids either. I like to keep my relationship private, I like to keep my kids private, in fact I wish she wouldnt post pictures of the kids on Facebook at all.

I wouldnt take it personal, there is probably nothing in it. maybe talk to him about it, my girlfriend has talked to me a few times as to why I would be like that and my answer is simple, regarding the kids, I have a lot of "friends" on facebook, I would say I know about 10 of them personally, I dont want people I dont know seeing me liking pictures of my kids. I am notoriously private anyway plus I live with them all so I see them everyday.

Social media is the biggest cause of break ups, so dont get to upset about online v real life stuff, real life is what matters

Are you still worried about his ex?

If you're secure with him, why are you concerned about his ex?

I do like his posts. And I post things of us on Instagram and have posted on Facebook before. The issue with that is he has his profile set up so that no photos that he's tagged in will show up on his page, to any of his friends, or on his news feed. So I don't post anything because I feel even more lame posting something that he doesn't even allow his friends access to.(he has this privacy setting because his family members tag him in things obsessively and he didn't want to deal with it anymore).

I am not worried about his ex but I am worried about the reason she contacted him. She didn't think we were still together.

(he has this privacy setting because his family members tag him in things obsessively and he didn't want to deal with it anymore).

 

There you go right there, I am exactly like that too, nothing annoys me more than being tagged in mindless stuff, so annoying.

Id say talk to him about it

That should tell you that he's really not into it and doesn't like the social media too much or social media addicts, like his family.

he doesn't even allow his friends access to.he has this privacy setting because his family members tag him in things obsessively and he didn't want to deal with it anymore.

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