Reading old emails to my ex after the break up

A few weeks after my ex broke up with me, I wrote him several emails pouring my heart out completely. Long, detailed, and loving emails explaining how I felt and the mistakes that I made. Each time his response was about 1-2 sentences. Cordial, but bizarre responses that sounded like they were coming from a stranger. Like we'd never met. "I'm watching football at the moment "This means a lot."

Is it normal... or did this loser never have any feelings for me at all? How could he be so cold after supposedly loving me? Is that possible?

Sometimes there are no reasons as to why people behave like they do. If he finished with you then he had his reasons....but again, who knows what they were (unless he told you). In all honesty I wouldn't email him any more.... It might come across as desperate and needy and if he's this cold and apathetic after such a short time then he really isn't worth chasing after X

This is normal and represents his way of acknowledging the emails without engaging. The break up had occurred, the goal after that is to learn and to move on. Your ex was being kind by acknowledging the emails without wading into a discussion.

Appreciate that he responded at all. After a break up, a proclamation of one's love is not necessarily welcome. Nobody wants to feel sad all over again.

It's normal. A lot of dumpers just want to move on after breaking up and are not moved by long emotional messages or any other type of grand gestures by the dumpee. That is why people suggest going no contact. Spares you the hurt of not getting the response you hoped for.

He's detached and already moved on...it sucks but totally normal. Time to go No Contact, go through the healing and get on without him. You'll be ok, just takes time

Well it's a relief to hear it's normal... I was shocked because I've never experienced that level of detachment from an ex, and this from one I was really in love with. It made me afraid he'd been lying to me all along, and that I'd somehow fallen in love with someone who never cared.

I think I'm experienced enough not to fall for someone who doesn't care... at least I hope so.

Please stop contacting and sending him stuff. It's hurting you and lowers your self-respect and inhibits your healing and moving on each time and expecting some lovey-dovey response is beating your head against a wall.

He wants it to be over. His messages are to give you the hint that it's over and you are bothering him. It's over, go no contact.

I wrote him several emails pouring my heart out completely."I'm watching football at the moment"

Please stop contacting and sending him stuff. It's hurting you and lowers your self-respect and inhibits your healing and moving on each time and expecting some lovey-dovey response is beating your head against a wall.

 

He wants it to be over. His messages are to give you the hint that it's over and you are bothering him. It's over, go no contact.Sa guy?

 

It's the only guy, yes. Pretty sure he's the last one for me too. And I haven't contacted him in over 3 months now. I was shocked at his detachment and just wondering if it meant we meant nothing. Shocking because I was his fist girlfriend ever.

After you break up detaching is what you Both are suppose to do. Not "shocking" at all. However what is surprising is sending him lengthy emotional emails AFTER breaking up.

Why do you believe he should never move on or get over you? Why is that a "shock"?

I was shocked at his detachment and just wondering if it meant we meant nothing. Shocking because I was his fist girlfriend ever.

After you break up detaching is what you Both are suppose to do. Not "shocking" at all. However what is surprising is sending him lengthy emotional emails AFTER breaking up.

 

 

Why do you believe he should never move on or get over you? Why is that a "shock"?

It's just not what I've experienced before. After breakups in the past there was always a period/process of detachment, not a 180 degree turn.

Yeah I totally agree with all of the above, keeping the NC thing going is pretty difficult... there's always that thought that goes something like 'maybe if I just say this, it might make him love me again...'. Its very hard to fight that thought, especially if your feelings are still as powerful as they always were, but mentally it sounds like he's completely checked out and is sending you standard messages of acknowledgement... nothing that will engage any kind of conversation. He's probably aware that you're looking for an emotional reaction from him, which to me makes it even more unlikely that you'll get it... people who've mentally disconnected quite often couldn't care less what you say to them, to be brutally honest.

He doesn't seem to value anything you're saying to him, so why not pay him the same courtesy... stop going out of your way to get through to him, you're worth so much more than that.

He's doing it the right way and going no contact. Not dragging it out or stringing you along or pretending to be "friends".

So in a way he taught you the right way to break up and that is to detach 100%, not repeatedly sending someone emotional emails etc. AFTER breaking up...dragging out the pain.

So you benefited greatly from him in learning how breakups should be handled. Breaking up is not a "process" it is the final event.

After breakups in the past there was always a period/process of detachment, not a 180 degree turn.

^^ listen to him, he speaks the truth.