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What to do with a micro manager


Seraphim

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One of the people I work with( she runs the room I work in) is a complete micro manager to the nth degree . I had to count to 10 several times today.

 

Examples of what she does, oh L this child always eats his lunch . I said , he doesn't want it. She says but he is always a great eater try again. Maybe you didn't try hard enough. So I tried to feed him again he shook his head and shoved it onto the floor. I said , well he shook his head 3 times so I let it be. She says , ok well maybe not. She says, well this other child requires help to eat. I said well for the last 3 months we let him feed himself. She says ,well he didn't eat too much. I said he ate spaghetti, he had ham ,he had cheese ,he had a bun. ( this child is 15 months) ( I have also looked after him since he was three weeks old)

 

All day it was L do it this way, L do it that way.

 

She has been in the room for 4 months. I have been there 3 years . 2 other ladies have been there 7 years. She is all over all of us.

 

Hints to get her to stop?

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I'm sorry you have to go through with this! Especially since you seem to be one of the nicest folks on here.

 

 

Anyway, you could be polite and say something along the lines of, "look (so and so) I greatly appreciate you trying to help, but I feel incompetent and lack of confidence to do my job when you go on like that. I know you mean well and I enjoy working with you, however I also need to do things on my own..."

 

I know that probably has to be tweaked, but hopefully the delivery is there. She could be oblivious, but chances are this is how she is in life. And no one should allow someone to micromanage them or try and control them.

 

Hope this helps and keep us posted. Good luck V!

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Yet another reason I love my contract work.

 

It's tough. I hated micromanagers when I was an employee. The big thing I had to do is swallow my pride and not care as much and just do as they say regardless of how mundane, redundant, and inefficient. Luckily, most the time, once issues inevitably start coming up, they start realizing the people they're directing know the ins and outs and the ship will float much more smoothly when there's some autonomy.

 

This is all under the presumption that she's got any authority. If not, start feigning deafness.

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I'm sorry you have to go through with this! Especially since you seem to be one of the nicest folks on here.

 

 

Anyway, you could be polite and say something along the lines of, "look (so and so) I greatly appreciate you trying to help, but I feel incompetent and lack of confidence to do my job when you go on like that. I know you mean well and I enjoy working with you, however I also need to do things on my own..."

 

I know that probably has to be tweaked, but hopefully the delivery is there. She could be oblivious, but chances are this is how she is in life. And no one should allow someone to micromanage them or try and control them.

 

Hope this helps and keep us posted. Good luck V!

 

Thank you. Yes ,it could be that she is oblivious. I know I'm going to have to be assertive and say something though.

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Yet another reason I love my contract work.

 

It's tough. I hated micromanagers when I was an employee. The big thing I had to do is swallow my pride and not care as much and just do as they say regardless of how mundane, redundant, and inefficient. Luckily, most the time, once issues inevitably start coming up, they start realizing the people they're directing know the ins and outs and the ship will float much more smoothly when there's some autonomy.

 

This is all under the presumption that she's got any authority. If not, start feigning deafness.

I am contract as well the only day I really work with her is Friday and I mean I could refuse to do that but that's usually my eight hour day. I might just have to try the assertive approach.

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I'm sorry you have to go through with this! Especially since you seem to be one of the nicest folks on here.

 

 

Anyway, you could be polite and say something along the lines of, "look (so and so) I greatly appreciate you trying to help, but I feel incompetent and lack of confidence to do my job when you go on like that. I know you mean well and I enjoy working with you, however I also need to do things on my own..."

 

I know that probably has to be tweaked, but hopefully the delivery is there. She could be oblivious, but chances are this is how she is in life. And no one should allow someone to micromanage them or try and control them.

 

Hope this helps and keep us posted. Good luck V!

 

What you had to say was really good so I'll just tinker with that and see what happens .

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Is this a daycare or preschool job? I am a contract teacher for those types of schools. It sort of made me sad that children are involved in this as for me, each child has their own personality and you can't always apply blanket rules to them and need to look deeper wishing. Micro managers aren't capable of this.

 

The best you can do is lead by example and hope that she might pick up a thing or two.

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(Grinning from ear to ear) I have just the cure for this. The next time she says anything like this, look her dead in the eye and say, "Okay, great. It's your turn then, maybe you can do it where I couldn't." Shove the food or whatever else is there into her hands and make her go do it.

 

The fact is she's trying to control you - but doesn't actually want to do the work, or really probably much work at all - sometimes micromanagers are kind of lazy people in disguise who would prefer to "supervise" rather than do.

 

So smile sweetly and a simple, "Oh, thanks for the help. Here..." and then gently push her over to do the task instead of you doing it.

 

If she's a supervisor suddenly play dumb, frown, and say "Well, can you show me another way, because it sounds like you know what to do then" then you sit back and have her do it for you.

 

Again, this will shut down most micromanagers when they realize they're doing a ton of work that should be done by other people, but are now having to be done by them. On top of their own work. Comments like, "Well, you know, I've done this for a few years now, but perhaps it's time for a change..." followed by again having the person show you how it's done (rolls eyes) will get the point across.

 

Try it, it works. You just have to keep a straight face, a sincere tone of voice, and act totally clueless as to making them do any extra work of theirs plus yours.

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"look (so and so) I greatly appreciate you trying to help, but I feel incompetent and lack of confidence to do my job when you go on like that. I know you mean well and I enjoy working with you, however I also need to do things on my own..."

 

This is quite a good idea. I'll have to remember this little gem for the next time I run into a micromanager.

So much more effective than Hulk Smash!

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(Grinning from ear to ear) I have just the cure for this. The next time she says anything like this, look her dead in the eye and say, "Okay, great. It's your turn then, maybe you can do it where I couldn't." Shove the food or whatever else is there into her hands and make her go do it.

 

The fact is she's trying to control you - but doesn't actually want to do the work, or really probably much work at all - sometimes micromanagers are kind of lazy people in disguise who would prefer to "supervise" rather than do.

 

So smile sweetly and a simple, "Oh, thanks for the help. Here..." and then gently push her over to do the task instead of you doing it.

 

If she's a supervisor suddenly play dumb, frown, and say "Well, can you show me another way, because it sounds like you know what to do then" then you sit back and have her do it for you.

 

Again, this will shut down most micromanagers when they realize they're doing a ton of work that should be done by other people, but are now having to be done by them. On top of their own work. Comments like, "Well, you know, I've done this for a few years now, but perhaps it's time for a change..." followed by again having the person show you how it's done (rolls eyes) will get the point across.

 

Try it, it works. You just have to keep a straight face, a sincere tone of voice, and act totally clueless as to making them do any extra work of theirs plus yours.

 

Actually she is not lazy at all she is one of those people bouncing and just squealing with energy. She came from another side of the house she just wants us to be the same as that side. She doesn't care how we've done it for seven years she just wants us to do it her way. She's just leaving no room at all for people to get used to things. So she is riding everyone hard. I just really don't like that approach.

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Is this a daycare or preschool job? I am a contract teacher for those types of schools. It sort of made me sad that children are involved in this as for me, each child has their own personality and you can't always apply blanket rules to them and need to look deeper wishing. Micro managers aren't capable of this.

 

The best you can do is lead by example and hope that she might pick up a thing or two.

She is pretty good with kids actually. She's the one bouncing and dancing and singing. My approach is just far more subtle. She comes from another side of our building which operates separately. And our executive director wants to slam change down everybody's throat at a breakneck pace. And hence we get a new person to run our room and slamming the changes down our throat. Thankfully , I only have to work with her on Friday. She's not trying to push the kids she's just actually trying to push us.

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Is she you boss or a coworker? How you handle this depends on the power dynamic. If she's just a coworker I would be direct "(name), I've noticed a pattern here, you seem to question my work a lot, have I've given you any reason to not trust my judgement?" Or something to that effect. Then after that talk call her out when it happen, "remember that talk we had the other day? This is what I was talking about."

 

If it's your boss....that's tricky.

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I think if you say anything at all to her, it would be the best idea to have your other co-workers there with you, and you all approach her in a friendly way. That way, you won't get singled out in the future for things (not saying she'd do that but who knows) and I feel it would make more of an impact if it came from everyone and not just one person. She can still manage and hold authority she just needs to back off a bit lol

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Is she you boss or a coworker? How you handle this depends on the power dynamic. If she's just a coworker I would be direct "(name), I've noticed a pattern here, you seem to question my work a lot, have I've given you any reason to not trust my judgement?" Or something to that effect. Then after that talk call her out when it happen, "remember that talk we had the other day? This is what I was talking about."

 

If it's your boss....that's tricky.

 

She runs the room I work in so I don't know if that makes her technically my boss. I have a boss which is her superior as well. She just runs the room and we pretty much have to like it or lump it or don't take that contracted day, know what I mean?

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I think if you say anything at all to her, it would be the best idea to have your other co-workers there with you, and you all approach her in a friendly way. That way, you won't get singled out in the future for things (not saying she'd do that but who knows) and I feel it would make more of an impact if it came from everyone and not just one person. She can still manage and hold authority she just needs to back off a bit lol

 

I agree she needs a little more subtlety. That doesn't seem to be something she has , with adults.

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You sing:

 

What will we do with a micro-manager?

What will we do with a micro-manager?

What will we do with a micro-manager?

Early in the morning!

 

Way hay and up she rises,

Way hay and up she rises,

Way hay and up she rises,

Early in the morning!

 

Shave her belly with a rusty razor,

Shave her belly with a rusty razor,

Shave her belly with a rusty razor,

Early in the morning!

 

Way hay and up she rises,

Way hay and up she rises,

Way hay and up she rises,

Early in the morning!

 

Lock her in her office until she calms down,

Lock her in her office until she calms down,

Lock her in her office until she calms down,

Early in the morning!

 

Way hay and up she rises,

Way hay and up she rises,

Way hay and up she rises,

Early in the morning!

 

Stick her in a barrel with a hosepipe on her,

Stick her in a barrel with a hosepipe on her,

Stick her in a barrel with a hosepipe on her,

Early in the morning!

 

To the tune:

[video=youtube;qGyPuey-1Jw] ]

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Originally Posted by Scoe141

"look (so and so) I greatly appreciate you trying to help, but I feel incompetent and lack of confidence to do my job when you go on like that. I know you mean well and I enjoy working with you, however I also need to do things on my own..."

This is quite a good idea. I'll have to remember this little gem for the next time I run into a micromanager.

So much more effective than Hulk Smash!

 

I'd skip the "look" part.

 

You could try responding with "You might be right" which doesn't negate either of you, nor does it require you to do what she says.

 

Sounds to me, though, that's she's more of a know it all than micromanaging.

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