Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 2 of 2

Thread: Brain Fluff

  1. #1
    Platinum Member meoww's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    I be where the cash be
    Posts
    1,398
    Gender
    Female

    Brain Fluff

    I really didn't want to come back to ENA with my tail between my legs, and thankfully I haven't had to. I made a lot of entries on my struggles with fatigue on the heels of my recovery from abuse, and while I managed to prevent things from getting worse, I didn't make progress for a LONG time. Not sure how often I'll be making updates, since I don't really interact with any of the users anymore, unfortunately. It can be awkward when your journals are only a click away. I kept a low profile on here mainly bc. of that.

    You would think the answer would be somewhat straightforward, and in the end it was. So was it antidepressants? Nope, at least not right now. Anxiety meds? Wrong again, but I'm open anything that actually works. Talk therapy, exercise, diet, sunlight, prayer, journaling, 2014-2016 consisted of trying and failing at every conventional treatment. I became suicidal for the first time in my life, I was not only trapped in my own failing body, things were so bad it dawned on me that death may not be a release from suffering. I didn't want to take that risk, life or death can always get worse, there is no rock bottom. Dark thoughts from some dark times...

    There is actually a legitimate basis for what I'm about to describe...
    Enter caffeine, I thought coffee was for chemically dependent suckers. Exit fatigue. That was it. Turns out out caffeine has been used to manage adult ADD, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, depression. ailments that share so many common symptoms. I was also probably a good candidate because I have low blood pressure. Without any prompting my racing thoughts just, stopped. IT WAS SO EFFORTLESS. It like totally jogged my memory, or some kind of body memory of health and productivity. I was suddenly aware that my ability to focus had been compromised more than I realized. Which explained why the simplest tasks took me forever to accomplish. No antidepressant has ever, ever, come this close to healing me, they literally made me feel like I was sinking in quicksand, with nowhere to grasp I couldn't think my way out of a paper bag, let alone make better choices in my life. I had to go through a lot to get to this point, but my last hurdle was pretty much a chemical one, just goes to show how important it is that the underlying cause of health problems have to be understood very well. I can see why it persisted for so long, with such a counter intuitive solution. So for now I'm sticking with a regimen of low fruit consumption, no added sugars, fermented foods, high-protein diet abundant in vitamin K, D, A, well, as diverse of a nutrient profile as I can muster, and a cup or two of black coffee with a splash of lemon and coconut oil. Yum, actually. Who knows, there are many paths back to health and it all depends on where you are in your life. I've often been forced to go my own way, this turned out to be no exception.

    Knocking out the fatigue also took out a bunch of the other sources of daily suffering, which was a pleasant unexpected side-effect. When you think a couple of pep talks in the mirror and some good quality sleep should do the trick, you feel like a degenerate with no will power. When you lose control of your body for the first time, it can be so overwhelming and the longer I remained in that state the less I remembered what it actually felt like to be healthy. I consider hiring someone to literally prop me up as I tended to my household tasks and now it's like that elusive 'life force thing' has finally returned.
    Last edited by meoww; 09-16-2016 at 12:34 AM.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member meoww's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    I be where the cash be
    Posts
    1,398
    Gender
    Female
    If I had been told a few years back that narcissism would go mainstream in my lifetime, let alone in 2016 I wouldn't have believed it. Life why do you do this to me!? Every time I come to a conclusion that had to risk everything for, it's no longer dangerous or taboo.

    Just enough that I had to suffer needlessly for so many years...now it's just going to look like I jumped on the bandwagon. How many times do I have to go through this? Why?? Can't the timing benefit me for once.


Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •