Trying to reconnect with an ex on an emotional level

Firstly, thanks in advance for reading this and any suggestions that might arise and apologies if this is long.

I'm 19M, that lives in Australia. I met my ex, Chloe, for the sake of this post, online when I was in Year 12 (I was 16). She was 14 at the time we met and we are about 14 month apart age wise. We both fell for each other hard and started dating within about a month. Everything was so perfect and I'd never felt in love before, so this was a totally new and exciting experience.

We slowly became more and more involved, getting to know each other's families, having dinner at each other's houses and stuff like that. Chloe lived with her Dad and Step Mum and had an estranged relationship with her actual Mum at the time, which didn't seem to bother her at the time. Around 1 year into the relationship, I snuck over to her house after school when no one was home. I left just before her Dad arrived (as we weren't allowed to be home alone "together"). As I was leaving I walked out to see her Dad pulling up at the driveway, and I stupidly ran away. Like, actually ran. Her Dad new what had happened and banned Chloe from ever seeing me and took her phone and laptop, so we had no contact at all.

Two weeks later I hear from her. She's left her Dad's place, rekindled her relationship with her mum and lives with her and her step Dad, so we can be together again. I was so happy, we both were.

Everything settled in nicely and I became a big part of her family at her Mum's house. Around a year into this new arrangement, her step Dad forces her to leave school in favour of a hair dressing apprenticeship as Chloe's grades were not that high, and her step dad was paying for private school. So Chloe left school and became a hairdressing apprentice, but her relationship with her step father deteriorated and she made the decision to move in with me and my family. My Mum absolutely loved her and referred to her as her daughter and was so happy that she would be living with us. We've now been together around 2 years and 6 months into living together, I turn 18 and start going out more and more and she doesn't like it and ends up breaking up with me, moving out and going to live with her mum again.

This completely tore me apart, she was everything to me my entire world and was gone. I kept trying to get us back together, but she didn't want to.

3 months after we broke up I got a new girlfriend, who I'm still with to this day. Chloe deteriorated, got kicked out of home and lives with her friend now. Just quit her job and is unemployed, having not finished her apprenticeship. She is so down, has no motivation and wasn't the girl I met. Her family doesn't support her and whenever I try and help her, her pride is too high and she won't accept anything. My mum misses her so much, offers to help and only gets rejected.

I love my new girlfriend, but I just want to help Chloe. She still means so much to me, why do you think she's like this now? Everyone around her, including her friends, takes drugs goes out and parties every weekend and drinks excessively and these attributes Chloe has taken onboard. Also, she is extremely promiscuous now and recently told me she has had sex with 25 different guys. It breaks my heart to watch all this happen and now that she's in a poor financial situation, I'm terrified she will turn to prostitution. She won't listen to any advice, won't go and see a councillor or anything like that.

Please help.

It is not your job to help her mate ... It may be sad to see someone go downhill but these are choices she has made , just as she chose to sleep around, drink , take drugs ...maybe she is excited by this life style right now , and she actually DOESN'T want you to help because there is nothing to help ..this is what she wants to do . You are coming from a place of love and care , I understand that , but it is how you see it , it is what you want for her , she clearly doesn't .

Or ..is this so you can start the process of getting back with her ? be honest .

Anyway , you are a good person for caring , but you can only lead a horse to water , you can't make it drink. Mind your own business , get on with your life and your girlfirend and accept that she has told you no and is making her own choices .

Oh and I would be pretty pissed if you where my boyfriend , trying to save your ex from herself.

Yep, it's not your job to save her -- as much as you may want to. Everyone has a different path in life, and there are lessons to be learned on the path that she has chosen. Hopefully she'll learn them before it's too late.

Don't compromise your current relationship or your own happiness by dwelling on or acting on these thoughts of knightly heroism you are entertaining. You gave her a home, you gave her love, and you did what you could for her when you could.

There's a time and a season for everything. The season of Chloe is over.

Stick with your new gf if you care about her. Don't make the same mistake twice and lose another gf for another reason. Stop talking to this troubled girl, it's over she dumped you and left. Go no contact and block her. Chloe was always a troubled kid from troubled homes, she didn't even last in your house.

Running away, hanging with druggie friends etc is a problem for her family to help her with or the department of social services. You can't rescue someone who is still rebelling in every possible way against her broken home and parents and step-parents and wishes to be self-destructive to stick it to them.

She probably is already hooking to support herself/her drugs but that's her choice as a rebel-without-a-cause.. She may hit you up for drug money or a place to crash.

Your breakup, by the way, was a symptom of this trajectory, not the cause...in case you are wondering and guilt-tripping yourself.

I got a new girlfriend, who I'm still with to this day. Everyone around her, including her friends, takes drugs goes out and parties every weekend and drinks excessively.