euthanising and feeling regret/bad/sad like I did wrong

I had to put my rat Tamarin to sleep tonight (or maybe I had to do this a while ago but was too selfish/hopeful). Breathing has been hard for her for a while. Last couple of weeks just sleeping and looking anxious and sounding bad. On and off meds, vet suspected cancer. Anyway, don't think she was going to get more enjoyment out of life. Feeling really bad though, have had an insane long hard weekend (huge amount of work) wasn't home for long stretches and home last night but tired and dumb. Same today. Finally made that call to put her to sleep after trying to feed her (she seemed hungry but unable to eat). Didn't realise till after the trip to the evet that the girl rats were all out of water. They drank like crazy when I refilled the bottles. Can't shake this useless what if, what if Tamarin's state was exacerbated by dehydration? Even through these last two weeks of struggle she kept on eating (and obviously drinking to for she persisted with being alive). I know she was a dead rat walking but I hate the thought my inability to life brought her pain

I actually love rats (never owned one, but I always think they're cool instead of gross when I see them out).

Animals are tough because they don't whine about chronic pain like we do. It's hard to tell what kind of pain they're feeling. And with rats in particular, unjustifiably expensive tests aside, a necropsy is going to pretty much be your only way of knowing what was going on.

It sounds like you were a loving owner to her and if you suspected something was off, there was good reason for it. Don't doubt yourself. Lil' Tamarin is up in there above the clouds, where she can drag pizza slices up some steps to eat whenever she wants.

You gave her mercy. You have nothing to regret . It is very normal to feel sad and even feel like you did the wrong thing. You didn't. Those bad feelings are actually about ourselves not about the pet. Just remember she is no longer in pain . She knows you loved her and you did a good thing for her. Hugs .

This is going to be absolutely useless advice, but please don't blame yourself or feel bad. You did your best by her. I've never had rats, but I had hamsters of various types for years (as an adult, I mean) and I gather that rats have an even stronger bond with you than hammies do. Having pets put to sleep is one of the worst things we ever have to do. Ever. It's just awful. I've never met anyone who's been through this who wasn't tortured with the thought that they may have made it worse in some way, so I think it's just part of the process, and the beating yourself up is natural. It doesn't alter the fact that you did your best by her, and don't deserve to feel bad.

Really sorry you're going through this, and (((HUGS))).

I know how you feel. My cat (actually my brothers that I was caring for) was hit by a car and killed about 2 months ago. I completely blamed myself. Kept thinking I shouldn't have let her out that night, it's my fault because I was angry at her earlier, all sorts of things thinking I could have prevented it.

Even after taking her body to the vet and having her cremated I had weird thoughts like "what if she was still alive, just really hurt and they cremated her", I keep hoping she just went on a long adventure and will show up at the door any day now. It's really hard.

Time makes it easier. With time you realize you have no control over this and it was just their time to go.

You did the right thing. A lot of people have guilt when their pet dies, it's natural to think you could have done more.

Hope you start feeling better soon. It's incredibly hard to lose a pet, some people don't understand, but it's a member of your family that is there for you every day no matter what. It hurts to let them go.