Had amazing night and want continued relationship but was it a one night thing?

Don't know if this fits the system you have around here since I pulled this straight from another place that got zero response, and if so feel free to tell me.

So I'll start with saying that I am very inexperienced when it comes to relationships. My only other intimate interaction was some very clumsy kissing under a bed sheet with my "girlfriend" in 7th grade. Also I'm not great at keeping a conversation going or even initiating one.

This was last sunday, the day before college classes started, all the freshmen were gathered in the theater for a convocation and I end up in the front row next to this random girl. We gradually start talking and end up walking around campus together having a great time. Our arms and hands touch way too many times to be accidental. Then it starts to rain so we head to her room since she doesn't have a roommate. Me taking way too long to react to cues eventually ends up in her bed. Manage the next few steps pretty well (well enough that she was surprised when I revealed it was my first time). Then realize b/c I never thought I would be in this position that I didn't have any condoms and we both agree not to do it with out so we try it a bit more manually. She climaxes three times, I never manage to even after a sustained 10-15mins of amazingness. She subtly suggests anal, I stupidly (and less subtly) decline, later she mentions how I was very gentle but she actually likes it rough (possibly b/c of previous partners). After all that we cuddle and fall asleep, go to breakfast together then go to class. Had a long text chain monday night, tried to ask her to meet for dinner tuesday and no response. Saw her wednesday between classes and tried to start up a conversation and ended up with about 10-15 minutes of semi-awkward silence. And now we're in the present.

This has been an emotional rollercoaster for me especially since I'm currently on a steroid taper so my emotions are through the roof and I have long been afraid that I would be a wizard. I never thought I would experience something like this with someone so normal and beautiful and now I am completely lost about what to do. I really like her, we're both closet weeb's, into sailing and cycling, it just felt like we really hit it off.

My question for you guys is whether this was a one off or something more and what my next move should be. I have thought about just asking her but I don't know how that will be received.

Sounds like college is going to do you some good. It'll also give you more to talk about. Join clubs, sports teams, whatever. Focus on friends and interests... and for goodness sake, get those general education classes DONE. Don't wait til you're a senior like I did.

I don't know where you live, but anything from beach volleyball to rock climbing can be a great way to meet people AND flirt with girls. You don't have to have sex with them to sharpen your flirting skills.

Maybe since you're so worried about your experience, you should get more. Don't tie yourself to one girl.

Besides, if I meet a guy I like, I don't care what "the rules" say, I'll contact him right away. Like, the second I get home. Can't say I'm happily with anyone right now, but that always seems to work.

Good luck!

Just keep asking her out and pace it so it doesn't crash and burn. Why have you "long been afraid that I would be a wizard"?.

This has been an emotional rollercoaster for me especially since I'm currently on a steroid taper so my emotions are through the roof and I have long been afraid that I would be a wizard.

I got lost after you said that "she climaxed three times." I have never had that happen, even with very experienced partners. You must have some amazing skills!!!!!

Did you mean writing skills?

I got lost after you said that "she climaxed three times." I have never had that happen, even with very experienced partners. You must have some amazing skills!!!!!

she was surprised when I revealed it was my first time

Did you mean writing skills?Especially considering this

 

You got it!

I was a very lonely high schooler so you could say I did a lot of research in that aspect, also she told me 3 but I only noticed 2. As for the wizard thing it's being a 30+yr virgin.

You know, I should break this to you: I used to lie to a lot of guys about how many "times" I climaxed. It's really hard to focus on anything (let alone counting) when you're truly climaxing. Did you ask her? I always hated that question and would definitely lie if someone asked. And how turned on she "seemed" is different from the truly ugly faces and weird movements someone makes when they're doing a real climax. It's sweet to worry about that, but if you just act naturally and enjoy yourself, there should be no need to share a score board.

Either, you're very good, she's very easy, both, or none. Many girls watch porn, too, and can fake an orgasm (Watch: When Harry Met Sally) and think it's sexy to a guy. It'll increase your prowess and confidence if you think you're doing something right.

ALSO.

For the longest time, I didn't know I wasn't truly climaxing. Sorry to be harsh. But when I got a toy, I realized.... lol... no one had ever made me climax. It was just hot and exciting being with another person. Now that I know, I'm much more selective about sexual partners.

Good to know. Since you've been the most helpful person so far I'll ask you, should I ask her directly (text) or leave it alone and see what happens?

Good to know. Since you've been the most helpful person so far I'll ask you, should I ask her directly (text) or leave it alone and see what happens?

OMG, do NOT text her asking her how many times she really climaxed! That would come across as so pathetic and lame and a REAL turn-off.

I find it disturbing that this 18-year-old girl barely out of high school is so experienced that she's comfortable suggesting having (unprotected!) anal sex with a guy she's only known for a few hours! I'd say move on from her and work on your conversational skills. Or if you want to give this girl one last attempt, call her and ask her to meet for lunch or go to a movie. At least with a movie you wouldn't have to endure any more awkward silences, and you can talk about the movie on the walk home afterwards.

Okay some miscommunication there, I was going to ask about where our relationship stands. Also I never asked her in the first place I think she brought it up, maybe because it was my first time and she wanted me to feel good.

Had a long text chain monday night, tried to ask her to meet for dinner tuesday and no response. Saw her wednesday between classes and tried to start up a conversation and ended up with about 10-15 minutes of semi-awkward silence. And now we're in the present.

This bit is telling me no , you shouldn't ask her anymore ..Good for you for taking the plunge and folllowing it up by asking her out . Just chalk it down to experience and that you enjoyed the moment and carry on meeting others . You have tried to extend this ..she hasn't responded so no more energy on her .. she knows where you are if she is interested .

I think she just wanted to get nailed in the *ss. I would take the suggestion to find hobbies, study hard and practise flirting. Not sure why you expect to still be a Virgin at 30?

I want to say just ask her out again and leave it simple as that, but I fear we are being punked.

You're not getting trolled, I'm just confused on what to do and chock full of insecurities. So I'm getting conflicting suggestions, should I try one more time or leave things where they are.

Sounded like she just wanted to have some fun right out of the gate while at college.

You asked her out again via text (with no response), and then saw her in person Wednesday, why the awkward silence? What was said then, any response or talk about getting together again?? Do you feel there is chemistry there or is it because you guys had sex? I think since it was your first time, now you might just be infatuated with her. You had a good kick off to your college experience - just relax and keep on going.

If you see her again or if some time has passed, maybe ask how things are going and if she'd like to go out again. Keep it light. Sounds like she just wanted some fun, maybe there is another opportunity for more fun with her if she wants to keep things casual, but I doubt this is going to lead to anything serious.

Yes.... OP. Honey. Oh honey. Don't ask her about climaxing. If she offers the info, that's weird to me. I'm not sleeping around, but I'm not judging either. I'm 32, so I've had my share of guys trying to get me into bed... and the ones who do are usually committed to me.

I really think you should stay single, because that girl sounded horny and that's about it.

If you do just have to talk to her, stick to the basics: favorite movie, music, place to hang out. It may not give you a glimpse into her soul, but you're dating in reverse at this point. So...

Oh well that's a shame, we just seemed to connect well, I would have tried to hang out with her even if we hadn't done anything. Also, again, never asked her about climaxing, she mentioned that part.

Now that I think about it I remember how it came up, after we were settling down I jokingly asked how I did since I was a newbie and that's when she mentioned it.

I guess I might be blinded by it being the first time (though it never got to 4th base). It's just that as I mentioned I'm not great at holding a conversation but that first night we wandered around talking for hours and it felt so natural and easy. Our banter matched up perfectly, I was just being myself and that worked. Our text conversation the next night was the same and it felt great to have someone to talk to like that, I moved across half the country to go here so I don't know anyone else yet. But when I saw her on wednesday it didn't flow so smoothly.

Oh no. Don't text her to ask how times she climaxed. That's all about you and your inexperience.

Good to know. Since you've been the most helpful person so far I'll ask you, should I ask her directly (text) or leave it alone and see what happens?

Oh no. Don't text her to ask how times she climaxed. That's all about you and your inexperience.

Lol what? Why does everybody think that's what I was going to ask, I was going to ask where our relationship stands (like I mentioned in the original post). I'm nowhere near that creepy.

I agree with the concern expressed earlier about her judgement when it comes to offering unprotected anal sex with a complete stranger. That act is more likely to spread stds than unprotected vaginal sex. Either she's pretty inexperienced and naive herself or she's the opposite of that in which case it's probably best you not consider her for anything long term anyway.

I actually think it would be fine for you to ask her out once more. Maybe your invitation was not very clear the first time since you consider yourself a poor conversationalist. But what you need to keep in mind is keep it casual, definitely do not ask her where your relationship stands...you don't have one! Just ask her for a date, hang out and get to know her better and then see if you guys are suited for a relationship. That's what dating is and that's all you should worry about at this point. Not everyone who you are interested in who shows interest in you is suitable/compatible for a relationship. Flirt and date a little first until you can tell the difference.