Ex girlfriend

Hi,

I have been feeling very down recently and not myself at all. I had a gf of a year and a half, and broke it off with her about a month ago due to a huge argument over somethings relatively small.

We have had quite a rocky relationship and have already broken up and got back together a few times, due to the fact I'm in love with this girl, lots!! Thing is she began a trust issue with me when we first broke up, it was because she found messages on my phone I shouldn't of sent and some other things. I have never cheated on her it was only messages. Thing is because of this it's caused some trust issues to the point where we were arguing a lot of the time. She was very weary of who I text, rung, who was fb friends with me, anything really etc

..

This has caused a lot of stress on both of us and because of this we had a massive bust up about a month ago which ended up in not speaking for 3 weeks. I was blocked on everything so I couldn't contact her anyway. Thing is I was ok for the first couple weeks, and now we have seen eachother a couple times I feel terrible, I miss her, I still love her, and want her back in my arms! I have told her all this and that she can trust me! But she's having a hard time beliving me and forgiving me for all the horrible things I said when we had that argument. Thing is I get mad and always say things I don't mean!! I'm very annoyed at myself and feeling so up and down I'm finding it hard to control!!

Now this is what's really hurting, is that she's going away for 14 days, to America and I'm really feeling sick to my stomach she's going to sleep with someone else or forget about me and not want me back when she's home.

Iv told her I want her and always have done, and she is taking it on board and aggreed to let me take her out when she's home. I mean she told me she still loves me, so thats a good sign surly?

I just need help coping with that horrible sick feeling when she's away, I keep having thought after thought and it's really affecting me. I'm going to really miss her. I know it's only 2 weeks, but it's going to feel like an eternity!

Hopefully someone can help me.

Thanks

JJ

"I have never cheated on her it was only messages" what exactly were the messages about and to whom?

How bad of things did you say to her when you were arguing?

Sorry to give you this bad news but the relationship was never stable and its doomed. You need to find another girl and start a new one with her. Ill tell you why.

When it comes to trust issues there are only two options. You forgive or you dont. It sounds like she doesnt forgive you so the relationship is destined for failure. There is no amount of love that is going to make someone forgive you. You can beg, plead, promise and everything in between, but if she doesnt forgive you (regardless what you did) then its just not going to work.

The best option you have is just to let her go. Let her find someone that she does trust and you need to find someone that trusts you.

How have you improved to show her she can trust you again? What have you done to control your anger issues?

Thanks for replying,

The messages were slightly flirtatious, and something I should of never sent, this was in the first year of going out with her.

Thing is she's stuck by me through thick and thin, always been there for me and always doing her best to understand me. I got hurt massively when I was 21 after my gf of 5 years at the time cheated on me, so it kind of turned me into a nob for a couple years. It's like karmas now biting me on the ass!!

Thing is in the last 5 years, apart from now I never had a longer then a 1/2 months relationship, so when I got myself into a year n half relationship, I think it must mean something!! She is so spacial to me and I love her to bits!

I got angry and pretty much said I'm not happy, your don't trust me, you never will etc..... but in all honesty I was very mad and didn't really mean any of it.

I went for a meal with her the other day, and we were laughing and joking, but she is still unsure weather she can ever trust me or forgive me. Again she's goes away tomorrow and it's making me feel very sad that's she gonna be miles away with me on the back of her mind probably.

She also said that she thinks I need space to get my head clear, and hers probably. I'm just seeing her going away as a good thing, would you suggest I speak to her whilst she's away or just let her go on holiday and talk to her when she's back??

Thanks again.

And i went through a rough patch of having anxiety issues and depression. Iv also got ocd, which I think plays a role in all my emotions and the things I say. She just understands about who I am, wen I think of my future I see her, by my side.

Just wish she knew how much I want her.