How do I convince my 14 yr old son to shave

This kid...

I have asked him to shave it off, but he refuses, says "I don't need to until school tells me too"

I told him it's like showing everyone that his pubes are thinned out - (trying to be a cool mum... but it back fired... he just laughed, and laughed.. "yeah right mum")

My son looks slimy... help!

His dad (my exh) has offered to buy him a shaving set and to show him - in a father and son bonding way... but my son wont budge!

(he's 14 and already 6 foot and not small by any means, big lugg..)

I'm not trying to control him... well maybe a little.. has anyone else combated a stubborn hairy teen?

he is in every other way very proud of his appearance.. spends 30 minutes in the bathroom and uses up the hot water every morning (not going to touch that subject)... styles his hair, smells nice and always distracted by a mirror ;-) but ewwww that mo just never moves.. just gets longer....

I have a daughter so didn't go through this bit ..but honest just leave him .. this is his man stuff growing , we know what it looks like hahah bless them all at that age ..but for him his new identity is being born once again ...he will tire of it in his own time ..but just let him be the man he thinks he is .

.... yeah... I know... but its so grosssssss....

His little brother and I are going to go into his room tomorrow morning while he sleeps and tickle it...

.... yeah... I know... but its so grosssssss....

 

His little brother and I are going to go into his room tomorrow morning while he sleeps and tickle it...

 

 

hahahahaha oh I did laugh out loud then ...

I would leave him alone. Unlike you, I wouldn't have an issue with it at all and don't find it gross - I actually think it's rather cool, lol. Totally normal. Natural. My vote goes for leave him be.

Ok gross might be a bit harsh... I'm guess its me feeling like it's just taking away the last of his baby looks...

my baby is fluffy...

still going to tickle him... i use to lightly touch/tickle his upper lip when he was a baby... It will be easier at this age.. hairs are longer..

I do love the big lump.

He's probably proud of his hair growing abilities ... why not let him shave it off in his own time? He will get bored of it soon. The more you try to get him to get rid of it, the more he will refuse to anyway so I would just stay schtum.

Or you could alway try reverse psychology (it can still work) ... tell him how old and mature he looks and how the old grannies will love it. That will probably gross him out enough to want to get rid of it.

I would leave him alone. I don't have any kids but my boyfriend, who has short neat stubbles which I like, showed me photos of him when he was younger with a bar handle moustache at one stage and big thick beard at another time, his comments when looking at the photos was, oh god that's gross! He thinks that now but back then he clearly thought it looked good (or at least not bad).

I think we all had bad fashion choices when we were younger, from clothes to hair style to beards (for guys), then look back later and think oh god what was I thinking! It's a time for growth and exploring what works and what doesn't. So I would leave him be to do it on his own.

Personally I would leave it. My son regularily looks like Chewbacca. I know it makes them look older but they themselves will get tired of it. I don't think any young guy really wants to admit he has to shave.

I don't know anything about this, specifically. From reflecting on my brothers' upbringing as they were forced to wear their hair short and shave - in the 60s and 70s - and from parenting my daughters, to whom I give much freedom and so they take very little...

It's not permanent, it's his body. Teach him to own it and respect it by respecting that boundary even as a parent.

Send him job hunting. He'll not get a job, who cares, he's 14. But he might start to see what it means to present yourself to others. And if he ends up working part time , that's okay too!

He'll come around once he realizes it ain't quite Ryan Gosling fuzz and the girls aren't all about the patchy facial pubes. For now, let him enjoy the novelty.

Personally I would leave it. My son regularily looks like Chewbacca. I know it makes them look older but they themselves will get tired of it. I don't think any young guy really wants to admit he has to shave.

on my knees ...howling

.... yeah... I know... but its so grosssssss....

 

His little brother and I are going to go into his room tomorrow morning while he sleeps and tickle it...

 

If he is fine with you doing stuff like that I guess its fine, but from my perspective I find it a little strange. At 14 years old I think it is his right to start setting some boundaries what he is comfortable with.

This kid...

 

I have asked him to shave it off, but he refuses, says "I don't need to until school tells me too"

 

I told him it's like showing everyone that his pubes are thinned out - (trying to be a cool mum... but it back fired... he just laughed, and laughed.. "yeah right mum")

 

My son looks slimy... help!

 

His dad (my exh) has offered to buy him a shaving set and to show him - in a father and son bonding way... but my son wont budge!

 

(he's 14 and already 6 foot and not small by any means, big lugg..)

 

I'm not trying to control him... well maybe a little.. has anyone else combated a stubborn hairy teen?

 

he is in every other way very proud of his appearance.. spends 30 minutes in the bathroom and uses up the hot water every morning (not going to touch that subject)... styles his hair, smells nice and always distracted by a mirror ;-) but ewwww that mo just never moves.. just gets longer....

Why does he "need" to shave? Most teenage boys are proud of that stubble they get and it takes some awhile. Unless there's a school code what's the deal with a mustache or a beard?

Sounds like a typical teenager to me. Be glad that's the worst of your worries.

He doesn't "need" to shave... just would like him to tidy those fly's legs off his top lip. If he was Chewbacca it would be different story... Unfortunately I don't think he will ever be overly hairy, his dad only shaves every 3 days and is quiet patchy and he's 45.

I don't dictate how he should wear his hair or dress (unless he is smelly.. which isn't often, my kids are independent with a lot of things, I'm certainly not a helicopter parent - I don't have time for that) - I have nothing against stubble (in fact I like a man with stubble) it's just those strands that show he's not yet a man, but on his way.. School does have a code, I'm surprised they haven't said anything..

Regarding the tickles - he loves it... we are just the 3, (mum and two boys) and we make light of a lot of things, we never disrepect boundaries. Due to back injures I can't get down and wrestle with the boys and do those manly bonding things, they realise this so we tickle - which I personally think is a good way for them both to learn girls are delicate and cant get into rough and tumbles.. (well girls like mum are delicate- trying to be diplomatic here). We are a very loving and close family (this doesn't mean my kids or I am perfect by any means) we just show affection and say how we feel about things, I am always here for them.. My kids can without a doubt say their mum loves them..

Anyway.. morning tickles worked, he said he's going to take up his dad's offer in the school holidays and shave the top lip .. (it's a compromise as that gives him another month of sparse hairs) ..We started the morning with giggles (well the younger one was giggling - Mr 14yrold was smiling and grunting something that resembled a deep laugh)... we 3 talked about things that boys go through... (the little one who is 13 learnt some new things..)

I learnt the girls call him "pretty eyes" so this may be why no one but mum notices the upper lip... Awwwww.

True, I have little worries with my kids at their current ages and I'm loving the closeness I have with them. This is a small thing... I was interested and wondering how others managed it.

I will never forget when I first grew a couple of sprouts under my nose, and felt like I was becoming a man. I can also never forget what made me shave. I was at a high school party, and one of the older sons (who was then college age) was pictured in a family portrait on the wall... with a thin wannabe mustache. The girls all laughed at it, and teased him for having looked so silly. I wanted to disappear into a bathroom and do it that second. As has been said, it's just hair and isn't that big of a deal. Look on the bright side; a few years from now, he'll probably be mortified by today's pictures and you can have a laugh together.

I have two sons and honestly, I would pick my battles. If he has good hygiene in all other areas as you say, then leave it be.

At his age he is learning to define himself. After all that's our job to teach them to think for themselves and make decisions.

As long as he isn't doing anyone any harm and he's a good kid I don't see a little peach fuzz as something to battle about.

Save your ammunition for something more important.

My guess is when you back off, he'll do it on his own fruition.

Look at it this way, in 5 years this moment won't matter.

He doesn't "need" to shave... just would like him to tidy those fly's legs off his top lip. If he was Chewbacca it would be different story... Unfortunately I don't think he will ever be overly hairy, his dad only shaves every 3 days and is quiet patchy and he's 45.

 

I don't dictate how he should wear his hair or dress (unless he is smelly.. which isn't often, my kids are independent with a lot of things, I'm certainly not a helicopter parent - I don't have time for that) - I have nothing against stubble (in fact I like a man with stubble) it's just those strands that show he's not yet a man, but on his way.. School does have a code, I'm surprised they haven't said anything..

 

Regarding the tickles - he loves it... we are just the 3, (mum and two boys) and we make light of a lot of things, we never disrepect boundaries. Due to back injures I can't get down and wrestle with the boys and do those manly bonding things, they realise this so we tickle - which I personally think is a good way for them both to learn girls are delicate and cant get into rough and tumbles.. (well girls like mum are delicate- trying to be diplomatic here). We are a very loving and close family (this doesn't mean my kids or I am perfect by any means) we just show affection and say how we feel about things, I am always here for them.. My kids can without a doubt say their mum loves them..

 

Anyway.. morning tickles worked, he said he's going to take up his dad's offer in the school holidays and shave the top lip .. (it's a compromise as that gives him another month of sparse hairs) ..We started the morning with giggles (well the younger one was giggling - Mr 14yrold was smiling and grunting something that resembled a deep laugh)... we 3 talked about things that boys go through... (the little one who is 13 learnt some new things..)

 

I learnt the girls call him "pretty eyes" so this may be why no one but mum notices the upper lip... Awwwww.

 

True, I have little worries with my kids at their current ages and I'm loving the closeness I have with them. This is a small thing... I was interested and wondering how others managed it.

I love this post. You sound like an amazing mum.

on my knees ...howling

Haha he went to Disney last week and thought the Wookies would take him to Kasyyyk. Lol

Thanks Blue, I'm not perfect.. nor are they, I struggle with a messy kitchen, bedrooms and washing piles that don't miraculously disappear, big brothers asserting muscle power over little brothers - sometimes I rant too, (esp when overwhelmed), it would kill me if I didn't try to have a good fun time with them while I can... I'm making the most of making memories with them, Bum fluff and all... the stinky little lovable Luggs.

Yay to the mighty shaver!

Haha he went to Disney last week and thought the Wookies would take him to Kasyyyk. Lol

Oh thats Brilliant!

This thread makes me miss my son.

Sometimes...pick your battles a scruffy chin over the summer is him 'expressing himself'. No harm, no foul. If he's a good kid (good grades, no drugs,etc.) let him have this freedom of expression. When reins are pulled in too tight they resist and break, right?

I have asked him to shave it off, but he refuses, says "I don't need to until school tells me too"I told him it's like showing everyone that his pubes are thinned out - (trying to be a cool mum... but it back fired... he just laughed, and laughed.. "yeah right mum")

Sometimes...pick your battles a scruffy chin over the summer is him 'expressing himself'. No harm, no foul. If he's a good kid (good grades, no drugs,etc.) let him have this freedom of expression. When reins are pulled in too tight they resist and break, right?

Absolutely Wiseman- I didn't forcefully tell him or point the finger "SON! YE MUST SHAVE OR BE OFF WITH YOUR HEAD" , it was more... "Ewww sweetie, you have long things on your upper lip, might be time to remove them cause they might get caught in your braces ;-)" -

This thread makes me miss my son.

 

Sorry Capi, I'm not looking forward to the day they leave... hugs

Thanks Blue, I'm not perfect.. nor are they, I struggle with a messy kitchen, bedrooms and washing piles that don't miraculously disappear, big brothers asserting muscle power over little brothers - sometimes I rant too, (esp when overwhelmed), it would kill me if I didn't try to have a good fun time with them while I can... I'm making the most of making memories with them, Bum fluff and all... the stinky little lovable Luggs.

 

Yay to the mighty shaver!

I hear ya! I've been on my own with my three for eight years. I have all girls so some of my struggles are probably different from yours .... hormones a-plenty and over-sensitivity (many tears STILL over their father's lack of interest in them). It's been difficult but I wouldn't have it any other way. We are much closer than we would have been had their dad stayed with us. He was extremely difficult to get along with (has many issues) and I believe life would have been much harder with him. We certainly wouldn't have the closeness we have now. I cherish that.