Stuck in a perfect relationship. Please help!

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So I've been with my girlfriend Vanessa for almost 2 years now. She's the one that took my virginity a couple months into dating but she's been with 4 other guys before me. We are high school sweethearts still together going into our second year of college at the same school so I'll definitely be able to see her as much as I'd like. Me and Vanessa have the greatest sex ever and she never disappoints me. She has an amazing body and a personality that I love so much. If I wasn't only 18 years old I would marry this girl now. Our relationship is perfect in our eyes in every way shape or form and we rarely argue unless it's about who is cuter.

However, at school and whenever I work in New York, I see tons and tons of absolutely gorgeous and stunning girls. Some girls are so beautiful that it takes my breath away and a lot of my attractive friends flirt with me even though they know I'm with Vanessa. Since I'm only 18 I can't imagine the only girl I'll ever have sex with in my entire life is Vanessa. I love her so much but I'd seriously like to experience having sex with another woman with a different body type. The thought of her having sex with another guy makes me want to vomit so I don't want to break up with her (especially because I want to marry this girl). So I'm kinda stuck here between cheating on her or being curious and sexually frustrated my entire life. Any advice on what I should do?

TLDR: I'm in a perfect relationship and I want to marry my current girlfriend even though I'm 18 and in college. I just don't want her to be the only girl I have sex with in my entire life since I'm so young and she's already had sex with 4 other guys before we started dating. I feel like I found the perfect girl too early in my life and I'm having trouble dealing with it. I don't want to cheat but I don't want to lose her or break up with her. Please help

-D49

Sow your wild oats before you get married.

She has an amazing body and a personality that I love so much. If I wasn't only 18 years old I would marry this girl now.I'm only 18 I can't imagine the only girl I'll ever have sex with in my entire life is Vanessa

You are becoming an adult. This is the kind of problem adult people deal with.

If you really want to lay a foundation for a good relationship with her. TALK TO HER. Be honest, open and compassionate.

Become a real adult man. A man that any woman would be proud of. That is no easy. It requires you to craft your own path. Most marriages end in divorce for a reason... Learn that reason and dont be another failed couple.

What wiseman said. What you think is perfect at 18, will probably differ when you get older.

I feel for you... I was in a similar position when I was younger, where I wanted to play the field too. The first girl I was ever in a relationship with was gorgeous and a freak in the bedroom and I assumed all females were like that. Obviously I was wrong

Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side and sometimes it isn't. Part of me regrets dumping her, but if I didn't leave her, my sexual curiosity about other women would have never been fulfilled. Odds are, your curiosity isn't going to go away unless you experience other women.

Like others have said, go explore your wild side, because you don't want this curiosity to pop up when you're married.

P.S. My current gf is friends with a women who married her first sexual partner, and she is constantly flirting with the idea of cheating on him. Don't be that person!!

Get the cheating idea out of your head, this is not how adults deal with the type of feelings you're experiencing.

Yes, at 18 you are much too young to think about marriage, and chances are your relationship with Vanessa is not one that will last forever. Few relationships started at a very young age pass the test of time, so just enjoy it for what it is, live in the moment. There is nothing wrong with wanting to experience sex with other women, but in order to do this you need to break up with Vanessa (or wait until the relationship runs its course on its own). As you mature, you'll hopefully grow to realize that sex with various people is not worth the hype, but in order to get to this point you have to experience it on your own.

Understand this: unless you're a jerk, you cannot have both Vanessa and sex with other women. Don't turn into a jerk, the world is already full of them. You're still young, plenty of time to experience everything you want to experience, as long as you understand you can't have the cake and eat it too. Yeah lots do try, but it eventually explodes in their faces and it's not pretty.

Be patient, and everything will work out. You are just starting your love life.

Look. You can experience every type of sex that Vanessa will agree to, you don't need different women to be sexually satisfied. You love this girl, you have a good relationship and you are best friends so why would you want to give that up for variety?

Its not necessary for you to experiment if you're happy sexually and emotionally with one woman.

Leave your thoughts in the dust and just enjoy your relationship. Things may change in the future (nothing is guaranteed) but for now, just chillax and quit thinking about other fly-by-night women that won't hold a candle to who you're with now.

When I was 18 I was with my first BF and never ever thought I would stray from him. But then I met my first husband at 20. He was so much cooler at that time, a bad boy. So I left my first very sweet BF for him. My first BF even asked me to marry him with a ring to win me back, but I only had eyes for my first husband at that time. My second BF was awful to me, but I LOVED him. LOL I married him after a couple years of dating and had 2 kids with him, but then left him because he was drinking and doing drugs and I was growing up.

I felt the way you did that I needed to experience other things in life. I couldn't picture myself being with my first BF forever even though he was so good to me. So, I think you are way to young to settle down. You do need to go experience other women and see how that feels. You are just not ready for a serious commitment at your age. You need to talk to your GF and let her know how you feel. Its going to hurt her, but if you don't do it now, you will marry this girl and end up cheating and getting divorced down the road.

Just be sure you know that she will meet other men and may or may not want you back a few years down the road. She could be married and with children by the time you are ready.

but if you don't do it now, you will marry this girl and end up cheating and getting divorced down the road.

I don't recommend you tell your girlfriend how you are feeling if you decide to break up with her. She doesn't need the added hurt from the breakup of knowing you want to bone other women and that's why you're ending it.

Dude, if you you're worrying about this now, how do you think you'll feel when you're 40, got a bunch of kids, and will lose your shirt in a divorce?

You're not ready for marriage. Tell her you need to take a break from your relationship, go fool around, and if she isn't there for you when you get back, it wasn't meant to be.

I got married at 22, and I feel like I was too young. 18?? Fuggetaboutit.

Oh, and I just want to add. There is no perfect person and there is no perfect relationship. If you think it's that way right now it's because you have a skewed inexperienced viewpoint.

There are other women out there that are just as perfect as this girl. Or maybe she is indeed divine and you could never get better. But you'll never know if she's the only person you're ever with.

If there's one thing I could tell myself if I could go back in time, it's to use your 20s to establish YOURSELF. Who you are. What you do. What you like. You haven't spent a lick of time establishing your post-dependant identity. And you can't do that if you tie yourself down at 18.

Op: What have you decided to do... If anything?

Op: What have you decided to do... If anything?

I've decided to stay with her since there's no need to ruin something perfect. I'm not going to cheat on her because I know it would come back to haunt me if I got away with it. Now that I'm back at school and I'm seeing all of the girls on campus it has been torturous so far. I haven't flirted with a girl in almost 2 years and it's killing me not to. I feel like I have to break up with her just so I can better myself and not suppress my own problems. But she's not only my girlfriend, she's my best friend and I'd hate to see her go for good. Thinking about other guys flirting with her makes me feel angry and disgusted so I don't know what to do any more

I feel if you have to fight not to flirt or covet other girls, being in a relationship is not the best idea. Honestly, I think you'll discover this on your own as time goes by and you get closer to some of these women.

THis is an advice column, so I'm going to just lay it on thick, even though it won't be the end of the world if you dont follow this advice....(and for the record, I say this as advice, NOT judgment in any way...)

If you're relationship is actually awesome, do not break up with her. Yeah, you may want to talk to her about it, but do it tactfully. The grass IS always greener. The satisfaction that comes with trying sex with other people is fleeting and can feel gross afterwards...that's kind of what I'm trying to spare you by telling you this. You may want to start questioning your beliefs about sex in general. Lots of happy couples never have sex with anyone else. There's the whole thing nowadays where there is such an abundance of choice and options. If you end up marrying someone you will always be tempted regardless, because that's human nature. I think willpower is like a muscle and the better you are at controlling yourself, the better you will be at controlling yourself.

That being said, I honestly don't think you can screw up that badly no matter what you do, because you are 18. In fact, if you're gonna try different things, now is the time to do it. And also, there really is something to be said for learning through your own experience.

Good luck. But I just want to reiterate, never having sex with someone else and being perpetually curious does NOT lead to divorce. Usually it's other stuff, for example, if you started to resent her inappropriately for never being able to. A lot of times we mislabel emotions and figuring out what the feeling is correctly can help keep the relationship on course.