Lost my closet dearest friend

Hi e not alone community,

Thank you for reading my post. This happened so very quickly. I do not make friends too easily, but this one friend has meant the world to me.

I met her as a yoga instructor in a fitness centre. We became close friends right away. We are both married and have children, she has also had similar sensitivities and issues in her life compared to me. I felt like she was such a positive influence in my life. I had my baby in March, shortly after she offered to teach me private yoga lessons in her home. We agreed on a price per hour, $25.00. It isn't a lot, but as a close friend I thought she was ok with it. When I would come for yoga at her place, we would visit, quite often go for a nice walk too. It meant absolutely everything to me.

The last time I was at her place for yoga, this just past Tuesday, my baby boy was more fussy than usual. He is almost 5 months now. At one point when she was holding him he threw up on her. I told her I was sorry, at that time she told me it was ok. She seemed ok. Recently my friend has also decided to open up her own practice out of her home. Teaching Reiki and yoga. Two days ago out of the blue she told me she felt she was being underpaid to teach something she is very skilled in, being yoga, for what I have been paying her. She said for one hour she would require $ 60 - 75 and hour. She offered to practice her new skill Reiki on me for the $ 25.00 I was paying. I told her I though her Reiki was nice, but it was not what I wanted. I was quite upset at this time, as she also told me I needed to come at a time when my baby boy was being cared for by someone. I felt quite hurt. I thought she enjoyed the time with both of us. My eldest daughter, now 16, (I had her when I was 17), messaged my friend of Facebook stating that she was not being respectful to me her mom by charging me more and not wanting Rider to come to her house. She also told her that she did not deserve to have me as a friend. My daughter told me this only after she sent my friend the message. I knew it would not result in anything good. But to be honest, it felt kind of nice to have her stick up for me.

Me and this friend have had fall outs in the past unfortunately too. She has treated me poorly when other friends she seemed to have valued more were around. Yet all the while she communicates that it was me being wrong, or making the issue worse. I am not saying I am with out wrong. I just feel things are really out of my control. I am not the strongest person. I have struggled with anxiety and depression since an early early age. My upbringing as a child was very hard. I moved almost every 2 years growing up. It soon after became harder and harder for me to make friends.. This friend meant the world to me. I am very heartbroken to think this is the end with her. She texted me upset about my daughters Facebook message. She also said not to ever message her again, as she would not read it and ask her husband to delete it.

This is a really nice forum. I wish I was stronger. Sometimes I am so poor with words. I hope this makes sense.

Thank you for your feedback.

*huuugs* It sounds like she is bad at drawing boundaries. It's her fault that she let resentment to you about the low price that She offered build up. Keep doing the sorts of activities that will bring you into contact with other people, you will make other friends (maybe it will be a slow process, it has been for me, but you will get there).

@1a1a thank you for what you said

I've found it helpful to consider a variation on that old adage "a reason, a season, a life time" when I've lost friend people in the past. Well they weren't for a life time, was there a reason? Did I learn something from knowing them?