Weekend...Feeling down..NC Day 6

Hi everyone,

I was just feeling really down right now and I thought i'd post here. It's the weekend, and the weekends tend to be the worst for me. During the week, I do okay but I really start missing him on saturday nights.

I am no longer friends with my ex on facebook, but my best friend is friends with him on facebook. Last night I was drunk and asked her if i could look at his facebook. He sure is living it up, he is even friends with 3 new girls on facebook. Just made me very sad, he seems to be moving on very well, while i'm here really sad. How do they get over it so quick, my bf and I were together for 2 years. How is he already talking to other girls??

Just need some words of encouragement tonight, feeling very blue right now...

Sorry you are feeling down. Weekends can be pretty rough for me too, but (as cliché as it sounds) it'll get better! You can trust me on that. I'm rooting for ya! ^_^

thank you Elecguitar, I sure do hope so....

Actually....it's normal from MY experience for guys to initially 'move on' quicker. I think women grieve harder at the beginning of a break up and men tend to put it off. So I think women get it out of their system quicker and then feel better within a month or two....that's usually when guys start to feel the real loss. So don't think men don't grieve. They do...just at a different pace.

Hope you feel better.....it really sucks.

Today is exactly 1 week for me as well. I'm hurting as well. Right there with you. Weekends and mornings are super heavy. Yesterday I went to bed at 9:30 because I couldn't take the anxiety. Hang in there.

Stay strong. If I can try to do it, anyone can.

That is not no contact. Sorry to burst your bubble, but you're actually one day zero of NC. Social media updates count as contact. You'll just continue feeling terrible if you do this. You have to be stronger than that and resist the urge to look.

I know it's easier said than done, but no joke, if you can do it, you'll get over him. That's just how the mind works.

One week for me too. Absolutely lost. Especially since we had plans this weekend too. I haven't cried much. Just sick to my stomach just thinking about him.

Hi everyone,

 

I was just feeling really down right now and I thought i'd post here. It's the weekend, and the weekends tend to be the worst for me. During the week, I do okay but I really start missing him on saturday nights.

 

I am no longer friends with my ex on facebook, but my best friend is friends with him on facebook. Last night I was drunk and asked her if i could look at his facebook. He sure is living it up, he is even friends with 3 new girls on facebook. Just made me very sad, he seems to be moving on very well, while i'm here really sad. How do they get over it so quick, my bf and I were together for 2 years. How is he already talking to other girls??

 

Just need some words of encouragement tonight, feeling very blue right now...

Iv been both the dumper and the dumpee, this time around sadly im the dumpee. But maybe i can shed some light on a few things, first off, Facebook is not all it seems to be, its a facade(false front) do you know anybody that posts sad pics on the FB page? Do you know people that post sad, crying, and depressed pics on FB? I dont. So i wouldnt get discouraged by looking on there, iv done it. And yup i still do it from time to time, sometimes it hurts, and sometimes it pushes me foward even more. Males ..dumpers.. commonly move into that party all the time mode after a breakup, i did, and alot of guy friends i know did also after there breakup, in some ways it can be empowering to them, not because they hurt you, but because they may feel a great weight was lifted off there shoulders, maybe they were getting tired of the same Routine. There free now, they can come and go as they please, dont have to ans to anybody. Liberating in some ways. Buuut, i can tell you from my experience and the people I know who were dumpers, the party phase id say more then half the time wears out. Getting drunk does get old, going to bars does get old and $$$ over time..seeing the same people does get old. What im trying to say is theres no way of knowing hes living it up based on a few pics...welp yano what, you take some pics with friends dancing and living it up and post those pics, that doenst mean your happy without him. Im willing to bet your thought about more then you relize by your ex. As far as looking on FB..owell we all do it or have done it. It happens, as far as hes concerned he has no idea you looked, so what does it matter. Did it slow down your healing, ya maybe a little. You havnt called or reached out though..so even if your worshipping every pic you have of him,,in his mind he has no idea what your doing just like you have no idea what hes doing.,in fact posting and saying less i think is better..let him wonder what your up to. Dont give him any info..drop off the radar completly. Do it for yourself. Ofcorse theres so much more to this..how old you guys are..how long you have been dating,,reason for breakup ect...as far as NC..ya i believe in it, but i dont believe its a blanket solution for every breakup. Theres so many variables. I can think of times i begged for an ex back, pleaded cryied, its are nature to try and fix things that are broke..it goes against what we know though not to fix something..in this case its the opposite. You think you should call? Dont. Dont do a dam thing, not a single thing. Take care of yourself...and yano what happened when i left my ex alone last time...yup he called. Doesnt happen all the time,and if theres cheating or lieing then that sorta changes all this. Anyways..you will feel sad, all normal, but you will feel better after you get threw this weak moment and you didnt call..chin up..you can do this.

Lightjocj ive just read all what you just put and its made me feel 100% better..im day 40 osh of nc i have my bad days etc i know its kind of working as i get comments like your looking better or sound better wether thats my front or a routine ive got into to not show i dunno.. The 27th will be my worst day should be my 11th year anniversary.. Was a good read thanks..

Thank you everyone for your comments, yes I have read that men feel pain later than women do. I am moving forwards, I never had the thought to call him or text him. I am doing this for myself. He's hurt me enough, he's put me in enough pain. I just want to move forward and get over this pain. In the past I have talked him off the ledge and we got back together, but this time I needed him to fight for me and he didn't. Sooo, just looking forward and I wish him the best of luck. Is it hard for me, hell yeah. But at this point now I have no choice but to move forward. I love this site, everyone provides so much support when you need it most. So again thank you all

the other thing is, I still have a lot of his stuff at my house. I am going to go drop off his stuff tomorrow at his concierge, but the whole thing is giving me anxiety. I had keys to his house, we have so many memories there. I don't want to set myself back by feeling upset tommorow, but I do want to give his stuff back. breaking up is so hard...sooo sooo soo hard...

Hang on in there jackiedavis. I deleted all the FB contact immediately, but oh boy do I miss it. I miss her so much. I miss sharing little memes and jokes and so much of our lives together (we were LDR) on there. I've been good today until about 20 mins ago when I've just been desperate to hear from her, to request that FB friendship back, to send her a message just to share some funny things that she would appreciate.

It's so hard watching someone you love walk away from something so wonderful, and being able to do nothing about it.

Jackie is there someone that can help you with dropping off the stuff as moral support? Could you post it?

Yes it is very hard Lees78. But sometimes god does things for a reason, maybe there is someone better out there. In my case, he and I weren't on the same page. I wanted to get married and he kept stalling. I think he def would have wasted more of my time if I had let him. So now i'm glad i'm free to find someone that has the same goals as me. I just need to get through this pain. i have good days where i'm like it was the best thing, but then I have bad days like today where I miss him so much my heart hurts. I'm hoping the pain goes away every day I go through NC. Today is day 7.

I have delayed dropping off his things, I will go next weekend. My best friend will go with me. I know for a fact he won't be in town next weekend, so i there is no chance of running into him.

 

It's so hard watching someone you love walk away from something so wonderful, and being able to do nothing about it.

I know this feeling! It's why I've struggled with NC, wanting/!needing him to see he's making a huge mistake! It's the most hopeless feeling.

My ex and I have a lot of mutual friends on facebook. I just checked facebook and was looking through some of my friends pictures and yup there is my ex. Having a very good time and looking very happy. I'm so hurt, I can barely get out of bed and he's partying with our friends. I feel soooo sad, I just don't understand how he forgot about me so soon..

I know this feeling! It's why I've struggled with NC, wanting/!needing him to see he's making a huge mistake! It's the most hopeless feeling.

It is the most awful purgatory. I had a nasty divorce several years ago, and it was much easier than this because at least I could hate her for having an affair with one of my mates and colleagues. This just seems such a waste for such surmountable reasons. If she could just realise that we can make it through 12 months of LDR and the end will be amazing, like all the time we have spent together has been amazing. But she is being torn apart by wanting to be with me, but also doing the job of a lifetime until then.

I can't stop hoping that her sensible friends here are shaking her and telling her to not be so stupid. But I also know this is unlikely to be happening. They will be supporting her and saying "there, there, distance is hard, if you just couldn't do it......"

My ex and I have a lot of mutual friends on facebook. I just checked facebook and was looking through some of my friends pictures and yup there is my ex. Having a very good time and looking very happy. I'm so hurt, I can barely get out of bed and he's partying with our friends. I feel soooo sad, I just don't understand how he forgot about me so soon..

Hugs Jackie. There is nothing else I can do other than offer you cyber hugs and support. It is all so ty. I am even starting to hope that karma is a real thing.

Thank you everyone. I have decided i'm not going on facebook anymore, it truly does set me back. I am on day 7 of NC and I cannot wait for the day I start feeling better and don't have to urge to call him anymore. Gotta keep moving forward, but I do think he never truly loved me if he's already moving on so quickly....

Hoping you're feeling better. Life is certainly strange and can unrelenting at times. I truly believe though if you have a positive outlook and do the best you can, you'll be rewarded in the long run. Positivity breeds even more positivity. There are so many beautiful things out there in the world and so much more to explore. I know you'll get out of this tough time and be stronger than ever! Hoping for a great week ahead.

You can block him. That way, no information about him will appear on your page or news feed.

I'm not facebook friends with him, so if I completely block him then even posts he's tagged in through our mutual friends won't appear?

Yes. I blocked my ex and I do not see anything that he's tagged in.

Thank you everyone for your comments, yes I have read that men feel pain later than women do. I am moving forwards, I never had the thought to call him or text him. I am doing this for myself. He's hurt me enough, he's put me in enough pain. I just want to move forward and get over this pain. In the past I have talked him off the ledge and we got back together, but this time I needed him to fight for me and he didn't. Sooo, just looking forward and I wish him the best of luck. Is it hard for me, hell yeah. But at this point now I have no choice but to move forward. I love this site, everyone provides so much support when you need it most. So again thank you all

Think about it this way. He added three girls already. Do you really want a guys like this in your life? my BF of two years throughout the relationship kept talking to other girls without me knowing. We broke up on our 2 years anniversary day haha what a joke. Its been 25 days and I am at peace. Yes I am curious what he's been up to. But by looking at his facebook, him adding girls doesn't bother me just makes me think wow this man is so desperate. For myself, I am doing things that I wasn't doing while in a relationship. Like hanging out with my friends, going to the gym, taking care of myself, shopping. Remember you don't need a man to give you happiness. Happiness comes from within I am taking a break from guys for a few months. Jumping from one relationship to another isn't a good idea.