Why is she so insensitive

My best friend of 10+ years has really upset me and I am not sure whether to confront her about it or distance myself until I feel in the mood to continue as normal.

Basically, she came to visit me and we got talking about the usual stuff, men/ work etc. I reminded myself out loud that I needed to pay off the remainder of my holiday that evening. She asked if I had brought myself any work clothes and started to laugh. I reminded her that I am a single parent with many other more important outgoings, like costs for my childs school etc. She was in hysterics saying that surely I can afford to buy myself clothes. Again I reminded her that I was just about to clear my final payment for a family holiday and that she really doesnt understand the expense of having and raising a child alone aswell as maintaining all the household bills. My child is approaching teenage years meaning Items for him are now adults sizes meaning that I have to spend much more amongst financing him daily when he goes out with his friends. I was unable to laugh with her and she continued laughing saying that I shouldn't moan to her next time I say I have nothing to wear. I left the room very upset and offended. I am also saving to buy a house and often do moan to her that I am unable to buy myself anything nice. I am on a salary that can be considered better than the average salary but have other priorities.

During the evening she took great delight in talking about her new relationship which is soo perfect and seemed to want to destroy my excitement about meeting up with an old male friend. She wanted to know his full name to google him which I found offensive as I do not know thr name of her new boyfriend niether would I feel the need to ask her or google him. I understand she is happy after being single practically her whole life (we are in our 30's by the way) she also has no children which is something she is longing for. I am very hurt by her insensitive actions and really feel like I need to tell her. I know it will cause some contention however I really do not feel like I want to converse with her at the moment. Any Advice as to how I should play this out?

Distance yourself and stop confiding your problems in her. Don't compete with people like this.

I was unable to laugh with her and she continued laughing saying that I shouldn't moan to her next time I say I have nothing to wear.

Instead of bottling things up, in this case, I think communication is best. If she is a true friend and cares, she will be apologetic and refrain from the bad behavior in the future. If she doesn't care, maybe it's best to let the friendship go by the wayside if you feel like you've outgrown the friendship and you no longer get satisfaction from it.

You have to talk, in a compassionate manner.

Talk in terms of what you feel, do not use the word "you"

For example: I feel dissapointed because I had the expectation of a easy going afternoon and what I got did not meet my expectation. I feel sad because I have an ideal of a supporting friendship and what I got did not meet my ideal... That makes me feel sad and dissapointed.

Sounds like she's tired of your moaning and isn't interested in being subtle about it. I don't think it's even worth a conversation. Find support in other friends. Keep her around for whatever else she fulfills for you.

Reading between the lines of your original post, I get the impression that you have a lot of worries, are struggling to balance all the different claims on your resources, don't have enough fun and enjoyment in your life - and are maybe a little over-sensitive to anything which highlights the reality of your situation to you.

For example, with the issue of her new boyfriend. If she's spent most of her life single - OF COURSE it's a big deal that she's seeing someone, and she really wants to share it with you. Nothing to do with trying to take away your excitement, she's just trying to share hers. I've had friends who wanted to know everything about a new relationship, where he lived and everything - again, it's part of sharing and being excited for me! - and it sounds like she was doing the same.

Someone who has no kids or hasn't grown up in a household which was struggling to make ends meet isn't going to understand the pressures of being a single parent. Just as you don't seem to understand her feeling of longing for a partner and family - a longing which is less and less likely to be realised with every passing day - and are taking things personally when they really aren't about you.

Financially, you are making wise investments for the future. But moaning about not having nice clothes really doesn't make sense when you've made your decision to put your money elsewhere!

It just sounds as though both of you are at totally different stages in your lives, even though you're the same age, and don't really connect any more. I wouldn't put much more energy into this friendship; you must have friends around who share your outlook - and this is where you need to concentrate your energies.