Child Support.. Pursue or Not Pursue?

I'm needing a little advice about how Child Support works. My Ex Fiance decided at 7 weeks he didn't want my child. I was told in no uncertain terms , "That's your Baby". I told him to at least help me co-parent our child. He told me, No he has more important things to worry about. I then told him that I would pursue Child Support, then. He told me over the phone "Catch me if you can". And that was the last I heard from him 7 months ago. I have since had the baby, and I want to pursue Child Support. The thing is, is that he deliberately moved 4 states away, to keep from submitting to Paternity. What should I do in this situation? Pursue, or leave it alone? I feel that my daughter has a right to receive some form of financial support from her Father. I did not create my Child alone. Please Help...

I should add also, that he quit his Job on purpose to keep from having support withheld. He's currently getting by, with Family members.

Omg, what a deadbeat dad

I would pursue him as much as you can. Hopefully you will get some money from him at some point.

I'd pursue if you can afford it... Most deadbeat dads pull this kind of nonsense moving, giving up jobs, working cash in hand... He can't live off his family forever.. Hes just as responsible for the child as you are. Why are you considering not pursuing?... I don't know how it works in your country but you should be able to get a court to order him to have a paternity test and at least that establishes his responsibility even if he doesn't work for a few years at some point he's going to have to and then he will have to pay the owing money or they take it out of his tax return don't they?

Perhaps getting some legal help first so you know what you're doing... Are there any free or community legal services in your area that you can get help from

I'd pursue it for sure. Talk to a lawyer about this to help you through. good luck.

Consult a family law attorney if you haven't already. They'd be much more capable of laying down the options and giving you an idea of what's worth pursuing for you.

Most states in the US will establish paternity by default if the alleged father refuses to respond. Check up on it.

You need a lawer. It's not that much when you figure what you have to deal with and how long. They will dock his pay. Good luck with this.

I'd pursue if you can afford it... Most deadbeat dads pull this kind of nonsense moving, giving up jobs, working cash in hand... He can't live off his family forever.. Hes just as responsible for the child as you are. Why are you considering not pursuing?... I don't know how it works in your country but you should be able to get a court to order him to have a paternity test and at least that establishes his responsibility even if he doesn't work for a few years at some point he's going to have to and then he will have to pay the owing money or they take it out of his tax return don't they?

There are a lot of cash-under-the-table, travel-heavy jobs out there. Men are talking to each other and spreading the word on this stuff. I know a guy who's my age, and he didn't pay taxes until he was well into his thirties--he didn't even get in trouble for it, as he never made enough to qualify.

You need a lawyer. That slug needs to pony up and pay child support once paternity is established. What a loser.

Yes, you need to fight tooth and nail for child support. You owe it to your child to give this clown of a sperm donor a wake up call, and remove him from his sandbox.

Please make the right decision and seek legal counsel, otherwise your hands are tied. Hopefully this child is given a fair shake in life...

Oh, you don't need an attorney. Are you in the US? You need state child support services. They are slow as molasses, but they can do more than an attorney can if he is hiding his own self or his assets. They have access to parent finder systems to locate him and such.

Pursue this. It can take a long time but no matter what state he moves to his wages can be garnished, his drivers license can be suspended and he can even be jailed for not paying child support once it has been ordered by the courts. It's sounds like that's the piece you are missing. Get a lawyer and see what it would take to get a child support order.

Here is a good summary of what can happen to a dead beat parent:

There are a lot of cash-under-the-table, travel-heavy jobs out there. Men are talking to each other and spreading the word on this stuff. I know a guy who's my age, and he didn't pay taxes until he was well into his thirties--he didn't even get in trouble for it, as he never made enough to qualify.

Im not in the US but Im sure it happens in my country as well.. my ex husband has not paid a single cent in child support, initially because he threatened to take my children overseas but after a while I realized that was just a threat but he is now married to a woman who makes a good wage and he was on the disability pension for some work injury mind you he did something similar when he was married previously and something similar when I was married to him so I kind of don't believe its a genuine disability.

But anyway the government discontinued his pension because his wife earns a certain amount so therefore he has no income and child support cannot pursue him... these kind of people men and women will always try to find a way to get out of their responsibilities its a sad reality... but still she should try to pursue him... what comes into my mind is in a few years time if he has a change of heart and wants to share custody of the child if she hadnt pursued him for support I just wonder what a creative lawyer might make of that... perhaps I have an overly active mind but nothing would surprise me.

I'm needing a little advice about how Child Support works. My Ex Fiance decided at 7 weeks he didn't want my child. I was told in no uncertain terms , "That's your Baby". I told him to at least help me co-parent our child. He told me, No he has more important things to worry about. I then told him that I would pursue Child Support, then. He told me over the phone "Catch me if you can". And that was the last I heard from him 7 months ago. I have since had the baby, and I want to pursue Child Support. The thing is, is that he deliberately moved 4 states away, to keep from submitting to Paternity. What should I do in this situation? Pursue, or leave it alone? I feel that my daughter has a right to receive some form of financial support from her Father. I did not create my Child alone. Please Help...

It sounds as if you were not married when the baby was born so he has no legal rights and he has no obligation to child support unless you go to court to establish paternity.

You can still file to establish paternity and child support regardless where he lives.

Most lawyers give free consultations. Find a family law lawyer in your area who does. You need a lawyer for this.

I was going to waive child support with my ex because I know I won't get it. I've gotten a total $275 since the divorce. He's $800+ behind on our kid. He's almost 11,000 behind on all four kids. I was paying child support when we were married and dating because his ex constantly would use lack of child support against visitation (which is illegal). But I didn't waive it because I thought well someday he has to pay it. And if she's an adult when he does, I can just give that money to our daughter.

It's up to you.

Pursue this. It can take a long time but no matter what state he moves to his wages can be garnished, his drivers license can be suspended and he can even be jailed for not paying child support once it has been ordered by the courts. It's sounds like that's the piece you are missing. Get a lawyer and see what it would take to get a child support order.

They don't always get jailed. My ex is $11,000 in arrears and all of his jail time has been for other things. He has never once been jailed for failing to pay child support. He already lost his license for 15 years due to DUIs. They were taking it out of his check when he worked for two months end of last year. It really depends on where you live it seems on them jailing for lack of paying.

Oh, you don't need an attorney. Are you in the US? You need state child support services. They are slow as molasses, but they can do more than an attorney can if he is hiding his own self or his assets. They have access to parent finder systems to locate him and such.

She has to file to establish paternity if it hasn't been done already. They weren't married when she had the child so he legally has zero rights to this child and they will not order child support if he is not legally the father.

After paternity is legally established, then child support orders come into play. But she also has to realize once his rights are legally put into place, he then has the right to visitation. Whether he uses it or not he can always bring it up someday if he changes his mind and wants to see the kid.

She has to file to establish paternity if it hasn't been done already. They weren't married when she had the child so he legally has zero rights to this child and they will not order child support if he is not legally the father.

 

After paternity is legally established, then child support orders come into play. But she also has to realize once his rights are legally put into place, he then has the right to visitation. Whether he uses it or not he can always bring it up someday if he changes his mind and wants to see the kid.

Child support services handles paternity establishment. There is little sense in her throwing money at an attorney when we have state agencies that do this(I believe she is in the US), and can do more because it seems he is attempting to hide out. If she were in the throes/threats of a custody fight with him, then I would say you need to hire an attorney.

I would find an attorney who's a real wolverine.

Pursue, or leave it alone? I feel that my daughter has a right to receive some form of financial support from her Father. I did not create my Child alone. Please Help...

Child support services handles paternity establishment. There is little sense in her throwing money at an attorney when we have state agencies that do this(I believe she is in the US), and can do more because it seems he is attempting to hide out. If she were in the throes/threats of a custody fight with him, then I would say you need to hire an attorney.

You still have to establish paternity first. She can't just go say "this guy is the dad." If he has not legally been established as the father, they won't do anything with child support. The only way he can be established legally is through a court order. So she has to eventually go to court for it.

You still have to establish paternity first. She can't just go say "this guy is the dad." If he has not legally been established as the father, they won't do anything with child support. The only way he can be established legally is through a court order. So she has to eventually go to court for it.

Have you ever used child support services? I am gathering not so I will share my knowledge/experience of it.

CSS can handle paternity and child support/medical orders either administratively, or by court order. Of course she very likely will have to go to court since there is no signed VoP. She doesn't need an attorney for that. The state's attorney will represent the case(not either party). She will need to appear. It's probable he won't come. It is possible that he can be ordered as the legal father by default if he fails to respond(however many times, that's on the judge). She can hire an attorney at any time if she wants, but I think when she's a single mother of 2 it doesn't make sense to push money at an attorney unless she absolutely needs to.

I've been down this road, minus paternity establishment.

They never got me a dime and it got to the point where I found out that there is a network out there that helps these creeps avoid getting caught. I just found out he now owns a nice house in Detroit. I reported it. They said my son was an adult now and that the statute of limitations had passed. He got off without ever paying a dime. Most of them do that run unless you want to spend Big Bucks. I decided I would rather spend that money on my son. It was a good decision. I didn't have to deal with or think about him ever again.

Have you ever used child support services? I am gathering not so I will share my knowledge/experience of it.

 

CSS can handle paternity and child support/medical orders either administratively, or by court order. Of course she very likely will have to go to court since there is no signed VoP. She doesn't need an attorney for that. The state's attorney will represent the case(not either party). She will need to appear. It's probable he won't come. It is possible that he can be ordered as the legal father by default if he fails to respond(however many times, that's on the judge). She can hire an attorney at any time if she wants, but I think when she's a single mother of 2 it doesn't make sense to push money at an attorney unless she absolutely needs to.

 

I've been down this road, minus paternity establishment.

Cheetarah is right - you do not need an attorney for this. County social services will take care of it. They take care of paternity as well. Which, by the way, they can default a non-responsive male to and then he will be automatically assessed child support. The guy can't just avoid the process and get away without a child support order.

Now will all this guarantee you money - no of course not. But it does set up the legal wheels to seize any money he may come across. A sudden inheritance he didn't expect? Ooops you have a child support order in arrears - we'll just be taking that. Major tax refund or a lottery win perhaps? Yep we'll be taking that too. Want a drivers license or a passport - sorry you can't have those either. So your ex will be living his life with this hanging over his head. Yes some people simply don't care. And you shouldn't plan on the money. But if it does come in and its unexpected - well then your child suddenly has funds for a college education, or perhaps their first apartment or car.

Have you ever used child support services? I am gathering not so I will share my knowledge/experience of it.

 

CSS can handle paternity and child support/medical orders either administratively, or by court order. Of course she very likely will have to go to court since there is no signed VoP. She doesn't need an attorney for that. The state's attorney will represent the case(not either party). She will need to appear. It's probable he won't come. It is possible that he can be ordered as the legal father by default if he fails to respond(however many times, that's on the judge). She can hire an attorney at any time if she wants, but I think when she's a single mother of 2 it doesn't make sense to push money at an attorney unless she absolutely needs to.

 

I've been down this road, minus paternity establishment.

I'm not a lawyer and I hope the OP will at least consider a free consult with one. She can also go to pretty much any women's advocacy group and get pointed in the right direction. I've just contracted with many law schools over many years and know that if this man is the father and has a social security number, it's far from a lost cause. Good luck.

Have you ever used child support services? I am gathering not so I will share my knowledge/experience of it.

 

CSS can handle paternity and child support/medical orders either administratively, or by court order. Of course she very likely will have to go to court since there is no signed VoP. She doesn't need an attorney for that. The state's attorney will represent the case(not either party). She will need to appear. It's probable he won't come. It is possible that he can be ordered as the legal father by default if he fails to respond(however many times, that's on the judge). She can hire an attorney at any time if she wants, but I think when she's a single mother of 2 it doesn't make sense to push money at an attorney unless she absolutely needs to.

 

I've been down this road, minus paternity establishment.

I was married when my daughter was born so I never had to establish paternity but I am supposed to get child support. I have also been on a lot of legal forums and seen lawyers discuss how these things work.

It's much safer to have an attorney especially if you don't understand legal procedures that's why I said it. Anyone can also file for divorce without a lawyer but it's safer to have one.