So I feel pressured (egg freezing)

So like 5 months ago I broke up with my ex fiance, 3 months prior our split, we were trying to conceive a baby, tried the vitamins, time of the day and such, but unfortunately we didnt get lucky to have a baby.

I'm 30, turned 30 last June. To be honest I don't feel like dating right now, I mean i go out and have casual dates with guys but I can't help but think if this guy has potential to lead for a long term or not, so after a date or two i just completely stopped seeing them. I also tend to attract younger guys.. Like 3-5 yrs younger than me, idky. Anyway I'm still hurt and paranoid about what happened to me, and my friends are even telling me that I always dissect guys early on and find something wrong with them, ugh, ef that. I just dont want to get hurt again.

My mom conceived me at the age of 24, most of my aunts had their first child before turning 30.. Plus my girlfriends have babies now.. And i feel SOOO pressured or maybe worried that I may not have a baby soon. I desperately want my own family, but relationships can take a lot of work.. Especially getting to know your boyfriend, etc etc.

So I'm asking, am I being crazy of thinking of freezing my eggs right now? Is it too late for me? Lol.. I know I sound a bit silly but I'm worried here..

Any insights?

Well, even though I feel like the socially acceptable answer that comes to mind in reply to your post is: "Don't be silly, you're still young, you have plenty of time", I want to give a realistic reply. I'm 31, 32 next January. Just like you, I want a family so badly. I've had a few long relationships, but they all didn't work out. I've been basically single and dating around for two years and I am seriously struggling to find any guys who are even interested in having kids or settling down (see one of my recent posts). I'm actually seriously starting to think about something along the lines of freezing my eggs, using a sperm donor, or just finding someone online (or in real life) that wants kids too and just making a kid together without having a real relationship. I'm not sure about you, but for me personally finding any family oriented guys has been extremely difficult. I suppose freezing your eggs can at least give you peace of mind that you don't need to settle for any random guy just because they want kids too. This way you can keep looking and waiting for the right person. And even if you meet him in your 40's, having a child may still be possible. My only issue is I can't really afford freezing my eggs right now, but if you can then I say why not?

I don't think it's a bad idea. You're still young, and hopefully you'll meet someone sooner rather than later and have kids naturally. But I don't think there's anything wrong with preparing a contingency plan.

At 35, freeze your eggs - but 30, wow, way still too young! When I turned 32, after countless bad relationships, I said to myself, that if I never got married or had kids, that I would be okay. And fully accepted it, and live life to the fullest. Then of course, started talking to my now hubby that Fall.

Anything under a year when you're 30+ in totally normal for conceiving.

And you must get to the MALL! Go buy grown-up clothes. It makes a world of difference in attracting age appropriate and same-minded men. Hit up steakhouses with bar area sections, get some wine, enjoy. Affluent well-to-do men hot spot.

Just freeze them. What's the downsize in doing that, really!

Why not? You don't have to tell anybody you don't want to if you are worried about unjustified assumption.

It can be a safety rope, just in case.

I was just asking if its too early to do this process or if I still have time. 😄

You are still pretty young. When your mother had you shouldn't be part of your decision-making. A few generations ago generally speaking people did have their children younger. My mom was 20 when I was born. If I had followed that path good grief I could be a grandma.

30 is still a babe.

I often get mistaken that I look young for my age! And sometimes its not really a blessing because I attract guys who are just into bars and casual dating and just having fun, it really is frustrating to find men who are serious on thinking of having longterm then marriage then a family. My ex was 3 years younger than me. My clock is ticking.

I probably will start hanging out on more age-suited places. But most men I meet my age is either in a ltr or married already.

You still have a lot of time, freeze em at 34-35 and it will be good for 10 years

I say freeze them now. It'll preserve them at their younger happier state. What do you have to lose? Worst case: you waste money. Best case: you regret not doing it in a few years.

Do it now. At 35 and up your egg's "freshness" declines. They say that ideally women should be freezing them at 25 for optimal egg freshness, but that's not something that most women have to think about at that age (unless for medical reasons where a young woman knows that her fertility will be taken away, like cancer or something).

Also, just cause you freeze them, doesn't mean they will still be viable when you want them. This is delicate stuff, eggs may not survive or will be damaged during the freeze/thaw. So keep that in mind. This procedure is a gamble. An expensive one. Do your research

Most importantly, talk to your gp about this stuff, fertility and egg freezing. Get as much relevant and up-to-date information as you can. I find asking a lot of questions to the folks in the know helps me to alleviate anxiety about health stuff. The more you know the more informed choices you can make and you will understand the realistic chances of conception either naturally or through alternatives means (egg freezing/ IVF) etc.

It costs between $9,000 and $13,000 to freeze your eggs. So anyone who says, "just freeze your eggs," you really have to be in it to win it, and unless you are rocking a giant hump, and missing half a brain, I wouldn't give up hope just yet!

I look young (Asian), but never wasted time on dudes who weren't age appropriate. So, start mixing in hang outs with your girls in more level-minded places. And trust me, go for a wardrobe make-over.

Also, anyone who asks you, "so when are you going to have a baby?"

And while I know you want to say, "well, I need a husband, first." Stay calm, smile, and say, "you'll be the first to know!" The conversation usually stops at the point.

Once in a while, I use to say, "I'm sterile." Amused me at least.

Yeah it's expensive and not reliable. It's kind of like a big experiment. Talk to your doc or an ob/gyn about fertility in general. Tons women are able to conceive healthy babies naturally in their thirties and early forties.

Yeah it's expensive and not reliable. It's kind of like a big experiment. Talk to your doc or an ob/gyn about fertility in general. Tons women are able to conceive healthy babies naturally in their thirties and early forties.

Yup, I conceived naturally at 39, and he's due in four days. (And I turned 40 in July.)

4 days! How are you feeling? (Sorry if your tired of being asked that)

4 days! How are you feeling? (Sorry if your tired of being asked that)

I'm not - thanks for asking!

I'm feeling very much like I'm ready for him to be born...LOL. Very anxious/excited/nervous - you name it. And very tired and huge...

Another ENA baby!

Another ENA baby!

Woo hoo! Maybe he'll get an honorary membership...LOL

@heather dawn

Congrats!! So awesome

It costs between $9,000 and $13,000 to freeze your eggs. So anyone who says, "just freeze your eggs," you really have to be in it to win it, and unless you are rocking a giant hump, and missing half a brain, I wouldn't give up hope just yet!

 

I look young (Asian), but never wasted time on dudes who weren't age appropriate. So, start mixing in hang outs with your girls in more level-minded places. And trust me, go for a wardrobe make-over.

I am aware of that, actually I'm saving some money for that in the future, if I can't find a husband lol.

I'm Asian myself! And eventhough I'm taller than most asians in my area I still look like 25-27. I'm actually thinking of just doing it with someone I know, or just had a few dates with.. because I just cant deal with relationships right now, I just want a baby. 😕

You are still pretty young. When your mother had you shouldn't be part of your decision-making. A few generations ago generally speaking people did have their children younger. My mom was 20 when I was born. If I had followed that path good grief I could be a grandma.

 

30 is still a babe.

Thank you so much for this. It lifts up my spirit. 🙂

Yup, I conceived naturally at 39, and he's due in four days. (And I turned 40 in July.)

Hi Heather,

Is he your first child? I have aunts who got pregnant in their late 30s but for their 3rd or 4th child. Also my mom got pregnant still when she was 38.

I opt for telling you to freeze them. It's a far better solution that rushing into something only to get pregnant then finding out things won't work out or worse, that you're with someone who is very wrong or toxic even.

We have technology, I say make it work for you.

P.S. I got pregnant in my 40s at a time when I'd been told I'd never have kids. Never discount what may happen in the future, but backup is always a great idea.