He said I should move on!

Hey there guys, I am recently dealing with a very devastating breakup with my boyfriend of 4 years. I can say that I am mostly to blame because our fights get so blown out out of proportion that I push him further n further away. Okay so I say it is my fault because we live in the same house and after we have a heated argument I result to detroying things or taking away my possessions that belong to me away from him. He says he is tired of walking on egg shells around me and just wants to be by himself. We have a very toxic relationship and he gets very verbally abusive which is why I give the reaction he receives. When times are good they are very good but when they are bad they are very bad. I can't see life outside of him especially since we are still in the same house. We still have sex but he doesn't want any more than that. He is dating other ppl and he says if I really want it to work I will do something to show him that I really love him. Otherwise he is done and says he just want to be happy and away from me. What do I do?..should I put on my boxing gloves and fight for our relationship or let him go and find his own happiness without me?...I'm torn!

Move out, it's too violent and toxic. What does roommates with benefits accomplish?

we live in the same house and after we have a heated argument I result to detroying things or taking away my possessions that belong to me away from him. we are still in the same house. We still have sex but he doesn't want any more than that.

He is verbally abusive to you.....what exactly would you be fighting for?????

Also, before you got involved with him, have you ever fought with anyone to this degree where you become violent and start destroying things?

You pack those boxing gloves away, head for the nearest therapist office, and find out why you've stayed in a toxic, abusive relationship so long.

Oh, and look up the term "Cycle of Abuse" because that's why it's "good" then goes back to "bad." It's a trap that most don't recognize until they're out and gone.

I'm sorry, but seriously unless you want to let this guy keep abusing you and to escalate, which he will, you'll get out of there, go full NC, and never look back. It's done. Admit he's not such a great person if he becomes abusive to you in any way and vice versa.

P.S. I really hate the term "fight" in response to a relationship. Both parties have to equally want to make something work, there is no violence to it or only one person having to make a supreme effort. I'm convinced some abusive a**hat somewhere made up that term and got it into our language and I would ban him or her for all eternity to outerspace if I could ever get my hands on them.

You don't "Fight" for a relationship. You both either get together and together you fix what's broke, meaning it's a two-way street, or you walk away if it's all one-sided and has become toxic. The term "fight" which implies violence has sweet blip all to do with a relationship, which is supposed to be a sustainable good thing that makes your life better.

In this case, unless he's willing to get therapy for his anger issues I don't see this going anywhere. You can fight all you want, but that's already been a dead-end street, remember? It's time to get some self-respect back and the only thing you should be fighting for is getting yourself free of what you describe is a very toxic situation.

We have a very toxic relationship and he gets very verbally abusive which is why I give the reaction he receives.

There is a link and if you care to actually do something to get out of your codependent addiction to him, you'll read through the site and then you'll call one of the hotlines that are provided. The people who man those lines will direct you to the professional people you need to see to get yourself better. Him? Well, he's not your responsibility anymore and it's not possible for you to change him so change the only person you can (YOU) and get the help YOU need because if you could do it alone, you would have done it by now.

Do something other then just post here and complain while you continue in the mess you describe.