Jump to content

GF a pushover with her two kids


XpandTheMind

Recommended Posts

Hey, I'm going to try and be brief...

 

My gf has two girls (7 and 9). The youngest one whines/cries about everything and is very rude when she doesn't get her way. The older one isn't much of a whiner, but refuses to listen and is often a brat and also rude. This annoyed me in the beginning, but after thinking about it and really focusing on the issue...my issue isn't with them, it's with my gf.

 

She's a complete push over with her kids. They disrespect her, talk back to her, always negotiate their punishment (which never happens)...and she allows it. Now, it's not my place (as I have told her) to discipline anybody's kids that are not mine. But the fact that she's a push over and we pretty much live together has caused huge issues on my end.

 

The issues

 

-Anxiety when the kids become reckless and she never follows through with punishment. Kids always get their way by faking an injury or by my gf breaking down and apologizing (voiding any consequences of their actions).

 

-Sex drive has damn near completely depleted. Sick of seeing her being disrespected and just taking it, making excuses, or not following through with punishments.

 

-Attraction is there, and I'm doing my best to understand, but there is always some excuse with her as to why she can't follow through on things whether it's being a parent and not a friend, or quitting smoking, etc.

 

-a MAJOR issue im having is for the majority of the time i'm with her at her place we're always in her bedroom...ALWAYS. The kids have their own room, but she allows them to stay in the living room or where ever else they want. The kids pretty much RUN the apartment. So me and her are doing the same...things...every...day. Lie in bed...watch tv...go to sleep...wake up...go to work...come home...repeat.

 

I'm trying to find a way to handle this without being brash or disrespectful. I know it ain't easy being a single mom, but even her family has confronted her multiple times about how she's handling the kids and the kids behavior as a result.

 

The solution I came up with, is to take time away from her and the kids. Go back to my place more often instead of being locked up in her room every day. The constant chaotic day to day happenings kinda give me more anxiety than I'd like to have.

 

I don't know if anyone else has had this type of thing happen to them, if so, I'd like to know how you handled it...or...if you haven't, what would you do in this type of situation?

Link to comment

As you know, there's nothing you personally can do about her kids. This situation will get worse long before it gets better, if it DOES get better. When these girls hit puberty, mom is in for all sorts of grief as hormones take over. There's a good chance you will be long gone before this happens.

Link to comment

I had a friend in a much similar situation as this not long back. It was a single Dad and his two girls and the woman was having a problem with how he let them run the show.

She couldn't take it anymore. They were engaged and after awhile, she fell out of love with him. Mainly because she didn't respect him anymore. She realized it wasn't the kids..it was him and his personality. He allowed it to be a total mess. He was not responsible enough to put his foot down and to teach his girls proper manners or teach them to be respectful and good people. The only person who can teach our children these things, is us. If someone is going to be a pitiful parent and not teach their children anything..they are basically creating monsters that society then has to deal with. No one else's fault but the parent...end of.

 

This is not going to change, in fact, in time...it will get worse and worse as they grow older and become more bolder with their mouths and their actions.

I don't feel sorry for your girlfriend. None of us were given instructions on how to raise our children, but we darn well know better.

As one of the previous posters suggested, she might try parenting classes, but the be truthful...it's more than likely too late as the children have already learnt patterns and what they can get away with. If she tries to change things up now...they will only rebel worse trying to revert things back to the way they were before.

My suggestion is, let this go and find someone else. You are only going to be in misery. She chose to bring her kids up this way...they will come first, and anything you say you will lose. The kids will always get their own ways. It's ridiculous, but your girlfriend has created this and no doubt will find YOU the one with the problem, not her or the kids.

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...