Wife changed her name back to maiden.

Again, I am doing everything possible to fix our marriage. I just found out she changed her name back to her maiden name on Facebook. What the???

Perhaps she doesnt want to fix the marriage. A name change is pretty serious stuff.

Unfortunately that's so she can appear divorced/ available. Tinder uses Fb data, right?

I just found out she changed her name back to her maiden name on Facebook. What the???

Yes, I've caught her on a few dating sites. I don't know how to take this. Good way, or really bad.

You had emotional affairs with other women and got caught and now are separated. She is hurt and wants you to hurt as much as she does.

You ruined the love and trust in your marriage and that takes time to repair if it that is even possible.

Time to back off and give her space and let her do what ever she wants as she tries find her footing again. You tore her life apart and she is reacting in many different ways as she deals with all this.

Continue see your therapist to figure out why you cheated, be the best dad you can be and most of all learn to be a GOOD MAN that can be trusted.

Lost

That sounds like a pretty big signal she isn't open to fixing the marriage. Is she a reactionary person or does a lot of thought go into her actions?

Like Wiseman2 said, she's letting the world know she is available. Have you guys filed paperwork or just separated?

We have only spoken of divorce once sense the happening. Like, I said it truly felt like at first we were going to eventually fix this.

She has always reacted before thinking. I don't know what this means. If she really is going to date, so be it. I guess I'll deal with that when the time comes. I know what needs to be done, but on this horrible time it feels like she is intentionally hurting me. And, is definitely influenced by her friends. I know her parents want us to work this out. Everytime I feel there is progress, it seems she kicks me back down.

Yes...that's the consequences of betraying someone in the first place.

My wife did that before she left but she was the one cheating. I'd say your wife is a soon to be ex. She sounds done and when they're done theyre usually DONE

I know.

That was just one piece of hope I was holding on to.

I can only hope in time, she will eventually see how I am starting to learn from this, and down the line their may be another chance .

My ex cheated & I went back to my maiden name.

It was the most freeing thing not having that tie to him. I was back to being my own person and felt like I finally had control of a situation that he created.

She has severed the marital tie to you. She has moved on & wont be coming back.

It looks like you need to accept that & stop waiting for her to return.

Yes...that's the consequences of betraying someone in the first place.

Exactly. Not much pity for you dude. Actions have consequences.

I can only hope in time, she will eventually see how I am starting to learn from this, and down the line their may be another chance .

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We have only spoken of divorce once sense the happening. Like, I said it truly felt like at first we were going to eventually fix this.

 

She has always reacted before thinking. I don't know what this means. If she really is going to date, so be it. I guess I'll deal with that when the time comes. I know what needs to be done, but on this horrible time it feels like she is intentionally hurting me. And, is definitely influenced by her friends. I know her parents want us to work this out. Everytime I feel there is progress, it seems she kicks me back down.

Alex:

You need to get your head out of the sand. I did this for years myself. There is no in between. Someone either respects their marriage or they don't . She doesn't. I know you are holding on to hope but looking the other way is not going to help. Suggest marriage counseling and see how she reacts. I was married 24 years and NEVER went on dating site. I'm flesh and blood and still felt attraction to others but stayed away from them because I VALUED my marriage.

I don't think she's trying to hurt you, sounds more like she's trying to move on. Has she moved out? Once the word divorce is spoke, even once it's best to get your ducks in a row and start preparing.

Sitting idly wishing and hoping will devastate you emotionally as well as financially. It doesn't matter what her parents said, they will eventually side with her.

We have only spoken of divorce once

She is done.. She has pretty much made a decision. She no longer wants to be married to you.

Did your wife legally go back to her maiden name...or did she merely change it on Facebook? There is a difference there.

The marriage became broken the moment you decided to step outside of it, and start making an emotional investment in a woman other than your wife. And continued doing so for a year. A YEAR. That means you made the choice to betray her hundreds if not thousands of times. Every time was a choice. The fact that it was emotional and long distance is irrelevant. It's still a betrayal. The decision to then lie about it was another choice you made.

It's your wife's option to forgive you, or not. Even if you work your ass off and change and all that, she still doesn't have to forgive you or give you another chance. You seem sincere, so that sucks for you.... but you rolled the dice by choosing to get involved with someone else.

I don't know the background to this but I would say that's a pretty big clue that she is out!

I think it's time to move on