Now Ex-Wife rewriting the past or just finally letting out the truth?

I would like to hear thoughts from anyone who has experienced their SO or themselves rewriting the past at the end of a relationship. I feel my ex-wife (8 year relationship, 4 year marriage) completely disregarded the significance of me and our entire relationship on her way out, just wondering how much could be true, how much was subconsciously contrived, how much was said just to push me away/ hurt me. I've read at a time of crisis sometimes you can't believe anything one may say and only 1/2 of what they do. Not sure the truth in that.

Example from my divorce...she said she wasn't sure if she ever truly loved me or just the idea of being in love, or the idea of me. That I may have never been in love with her. That I just didn't know how to make her happy. She said she has felt more passion/lust for other men in the past yet I have love letters completely contradicting that saying she has never loved more passionately or deeply than with me. Sex life was great until the last year or so. We had walls covered in pictures with nothing but happy memories. Who would ever marry someone if they weren't in love, or had previous stronger emotions for another? Stay in a relationship for 8 years if you weren't happy. Just sounds like a lot of bullsh*t minimization of the relationship for validating ones current emotions or actions, or maybe that's what I want to believe. Thoughts? Discussion?

My thought is no one knows except her. And you'll never get the truth of it. So just accept you're divorced and let it go.

This is quite often the case. Most of the rational people use for ending it is a laundry list of mind-bending grievances that will only pollute your brain.

Just sounds like a lot of bullsh*t minimization of the relationship for validating ones current emotions or actions.

My cheating ex-wife was deeply deceptive and had what I dub the "Susie Creamcheese" persona. She desparately wanted to act like the good Mormon girl her devout parents wanted her to be, but secretly hated the whole thing.

So she marries me acting like that with me (non-Mormon), but all the while is doing whatever the hell she wants to do when away from the house. She successfully all this from me for years.

I'm not a stupid man, but she is rockstar good at deception. I was cover for her true wants in life.

This happens a lot. Usually when they get caught doing something they weren't supposed to be doing like you know, having sex with someone else...

The re-write of history is their way of justifying their current actions in their own mind and at the same time laying the ground work to convince everyone else that they were justified in cheating or whatever because it was a loveless marriage, she never loved you, you are a narcissist, she was never happy and on and on.

Don't listen or believe anything she is saying to you. She is not only lying to you, she is lying to herself.

Don't let her drag you into the dysfunction of her lies.

Lost

I appreciate the response and agree there were at least some elements of a rewrite. I'll never really know but it was so out of character and such a mind f@ck it has been driving me crazy rehashing it. Thanks

If you ask two different witnesses to describe a train wreck you will get two different accounts.