Jump to content

Need Advice - it's urgent for me


Recommended Posts

Hello Everyone, I meesed up my life and I take full responsibilty. I ned advice and what to do to remedy the situation immediately and prevent it from happening again......

( I am a single Mom with no help from family and no friends & no one i can count on. my family members are all poor and ignorant to personal growth!) I am not religious.

 

Here goes....

--- I messed up badly, I was supposed to looking for a job in the last 1 1/2 month. I looked a little. I have a job interview but only $40 to my name and barely can eat for the next week. Today is Friday 7/22/2016.

 

I have been on at least 6 job interviews for Receptionist or Admin Assistant and they have all picked someone else. Maybe it's my age, I am well past 40. I have great work experience but have moved jobs a lot! ** I have a teenage child ** awesome and warned me about this 3 weeks ago. Very smart teenager And very patient with me! I must make things right for my sweet child.

 

I was spending the last 1 month, spending most of my days - all day, on a chat from a language app (I will keep it annonymous).

 

I was so excited to speak to people from across the world on phone and skype and it became kind of addictive to get so much attention from guys. (I am an American woman) who does not get asked out on dates at all in real life. So it was great "meeting all of these handsome guys wanting to talk to me.

 

I know what you're going to say, don't put men first. but I feel the issue is that I did not Prioritize my time. Job search should have been first. Now I can't pay my rent. Big mistake.

 

I did look a little online & in person for work but not nearly as much as I should have. I see that and I've done this before 1 1/2 ago and got myself in the same situation. ?Why do I keep doing this?

I vow to never do this again but I NEED SUPPORT FROM YOU ALL, thanks so much! and I'd like to support you too.

 

I have a landlord that hates me all of sudden, I rent a room in a house and share with my teenager.

(We are very quiet and clean and respectful tenants) Maybe she getting tired of us " taking up her space" but she is not home very much.

 

Landlord said we can't stay too much longer, she left if open but Based on prev convo, maybe 2 months or 3 and I don't have rent, it is due in 8 days from today. And I don't have money for my public transportation.

(I don't want to apply for Foodstamps again or apply welfare, because it's a bad system... Even though they made the mistake, I have to pay them $339 (it's a clause in their disfuntional system-even if they make mistake & they always have) I may have to though

 

Please connect with me by responding to this and tell me how to rectify this ! Thanks

Link to comment

Making yourself and your teenager starving and homeless because of this attitude is irresponsible. Wake up and do what you have to do to put food on the table and keep a roof over your kid's head.

I have a teenage child ** I don't want to apply for Foodstamps again or apply welfare, because it's a bad system.
Link to comment

If you're still here:

 

Sounds like if you apply for assistance, you will be forced first to pay $339, which you don't have. Putting that aside, you must apply for assistance, because that is what you need. Someone will help you figure out how to deal with the $339.

 

Also, it sounds to me like you could use the assistance of a counselor who could help keep you on track. Is there a public health service or a clinic that can help? My psych doc left to go work in a clinic that serves people who can't afford to pay. She specializes in adult ADHD and in middle-aged women's health issues and how they impact how we think and behave. There must be more than one doctor like her.

 

Do not hate yourself. You are doing the best you can. As true as that may be, you HAVE to do better. Push yourself to do better, and get people to help coach you.

Link to comment

Hi IThinkICan, thank you very much for your support, i will & HAVE to put my situation/my child first and I will look into all that you said. This was a great reply post. And I will do whatever it takes to makes things right for me & my teenager. It will work out, we have a very close relationship and now i see what is in front of me. Thanks again

Link to comment
Hi IThinkICan, thank you very much for your support, i will & HAVE to put my situation/my child first and I will look into all that you said. This was a great reply post. And I will do whatever it takes to makes things right for me & my teenager. It will work out, we have a very close relationship and now i see what is in front of me. Thanks again

 

One foot in front of the other. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. One foot in front of the other.

 

Have you ever thought about how far you've traveled on a walk, when at the beginning, it seemed impossible? Keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Link to comment

Unfortunately, this may be the case where you need to ask your teenager to set up website/app blockers for you, meaning that your internet browsing is only limited to job sites and job boards. Because you have to kick your addiction cold turkey.

 

Do you qualify for unemployment benefits? Go to your local workforce office - they have jobs, they work with companies to place people like yourself asap. You are going to have to go out and reach out for help. Go to Goodwill - they also have an employment service and work with local employers to get jobs, especially for single mothers.

 

Next job you get, stay with it no matter what. Like it, hate it - not relevant. You need to fix your resume and show stability and capacity to stay in a job. It's not your age and you are not old enough to claim that. When a company hires you, they genuinely hope that you'll stay with them for years. The idea that a few months or even a year down the road they'll need to hire again....scares them and they'll go with someone who seems more stable. Fortunately, you can correct that by simply sticking with the next job you get for a good long time.

 

Apply for foodstamps and welfare. Who cares that the system is bad, right now you need it and need it today so bite the bullet and do what you have to do. Remember, that you can fix your situation and once you do, you will never have to deal with them again. Let that be your motivation.

Link to comment

You and your son unless he's under the age of being able to work need to scrape money together now. Like this becomes your first priority. That means if you have anything to sell, you get it sold, you both go out right now while you still have a roof over your heads and you both focus on work ASAP. If you can clean houses, cut lawns, do something to get money in your hand today you do that.

 

Also look around for women's shelters in your area, not sure if there'll be any, but if there are programs for single moms who might soon be homeless you do that. I've kind of been where you are a time or two, but not with the addiction factor, just unexpected medical bills that wiped me out financially.

 

Bottom line, today you get offline and you start figuring out how to get money in the door now. That's usually done by quick cash type activities of the housecleaning, yard work, sell things sort.

 

Second thing you do is download an app like say "Anti Social" or other type of website blocking software. You activate it on your computer, you block any and all websites that are a distraction, and you redouble your efforts. Let the impetus of this danger push your forward to get you out of your soup. And yes, do get food stamps and any other help you can. Sorry, but we all pay taxes for that, it's there to help people who get into a bind, so just do that already.

 

Good luck, I hope you can pull out of this and if you let the impetus of this issue push you forward you know you have that ability. But it means getting off the computer and going out and make getting money and a job your job and the only thing you do from now until you have that next paycheck in your hand.

 

I do offer you support. After that you maybe should look around and see if there are any sliding scale or even no cost support groups or therapy you can do to help you break your addiction to online meeting of men. It sounds like maybe you've turned to them as a hope one of them will help you out financially and in life, but the problem there is that leaves you more and more vulnerable to the very thing you're trying to solve.

 

You need to break that addiction, but for now at least get it on the backburner and get finding work and money in your hand the top priority.

Link to comment
You have never done anything wrong? In your life. I thought ppl.here would be supportive as well as advice. I will delete this app

 

There are better websites - I find on sites like Quora there is a bit of trolling but it is a lot more controlled. The dating advice section on enotalone is actually quite good but some responses on the career advice section are a bit lame with people coming out with generalisms based in their own career as if all jobs work the same way. It doesn't happen all the time but some answers remind me a little of when my dad tries to give me overbearing and useless career advice based on the one job he ever had, even though it has zip to do with my career.

 

In regards to your issue, obviously get off the chat apps etc but don't beat yourself up. 6 weeks is not a lot of time to jobhunt, even if it is for receptionist jobs that I imagine hire quickly. Probably you could have done better but don't beat yourself up.

 

To add to what others have said I would say in the meantime find out if there are casual jobs in your area - if it is a big city like London then employers won't care about career history as much. I worked in a call centre when I was changing career and stuck for work, doing surveys for a market research firm and they couldn't care less that I was going to leave in a few months and it was a very formal process and a nice place to work in. It depends on the location as I know in smaller cities it is harder to get into a job like that if you're obviously using it as a stop-gap, but worth a thought. Failing that, yard-sales and anything like tutoring or baby-sitting, whatever you can get, might work aswell.

Link to comment

You did this because you are lonely. There are other things to do when you are lonely - like going to the unemployment office and signing up for a job hunting class. You will be around other people and that little bit of adult conversation - not teenager conversation - will help. Also, a support or meetup group will help.

 

What do I do when I suddenly need cash for rent, etc? You can go apply at a couple restaurants to start waiting tables, You will make tip money immediately - well maybe after a few days of shadowing if you have never done it. Be mindful that in some cases you may have to claim tips as wages. The other thing you should do is to see what things you can sell or send to a consignment shop. Consignment shop might not sell it right away (clothes you don't wear, etc), but its money in the pipeline. I would also answer ads where someone is looking for a babysitter. A mother of a teen might be chosen over a teenager if there is a special needs child, very small baby, or preteens in the house to be watched, preteens don't usually need a sitter, but if parents are away overnight, etc, or work everyday in the summer, sometimes direction is needed.

 

Also, what about your teen? Could your teen babysit to make some money for their fun money, etc, so you don't have to provide it? Can they stay with a relative for a short time - not a custody change but spend a week at grandma and grandpa's for just a visit - someone that would be happy to feed them?

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...