Bf keeps breaking up and sleeps with other girls

Hi all, first: thank you in advance for any advice.

I met my boyfriend 1 year ago. During that time, he broke up with me twice, once in November, another time this February and finally, last week. Always because I don’t make enough efforts, and am inconsiderate of his feelings.

Last year, after he broke up, he slept with another girl (that he dated for a few months before me) about 5 days after. We got back together after 1 week and a half and he told me what he did two weeks later. He told me he did not do anything wrong because we were broken up, so he could do whatever he wanted. I was very hurt but blinded by love, he was sort of right because we were broken up so we continued.

Fast forward to this February, he broke up with me again because he thought I was being inconsiderate of him and his feelings once again. Then we met one week later again on Valentine’s Day and he told me he slept with a girl he used to see before me. I was devastated, but once again, his usual excuse was that we were broken up so he did noting wrong. On my part, I did not do anything with anyone, I am just not like that. We got back together, and everything was perfect since then. He changed or I thought he finally realized that I was not going anywhere that I truly cared for him, and our relationship. Whenever we had an argument, we would take some time apart, then we would meet up to discuss and resolve any issues.

Until last Thursday; we had some issues for the past few weeks. I did not have a job and was actively looking, him as well, and it was very difficult. Last week, after a few days being in an argument, he texted me that I am giving him anxiety and stress, and to go get my stuff from his apartment (we are not living together), and it was done. I did exactly that and did not even exchange a word with him.

One day later, he texts me telling me why I am always like this (doing nothing to resolve things) and am not caring and still being inconsiderate. He told me that he does not recognize me, asking me where is the girl that would fight for this relationship. I texted him that he broke up with her (again), and wished him good luck with the future.

We texted again during the week-end. From his perspective, he said he broke up with me because I was being neglectful where he was not, that he was there for me all the time but I was not. I just said that he could have asked for a break instead of taking such an extreme measure and break up with me. I was hurt because I thought he has stopped doing that for good, but for him he did nothing wrong, he broke up because I was not listening otherwise.

We met yesterday for me to give him back his keys, and he told me that I keep making this about ME, but it’s about him. I did things wrong and am not doing anything to arrange it. To which I replied that he did not have to break up with me! Then he said that he has a date in a few days and I was so hurt once again. He kept telling me that what he decided to do while we are NOT together is none of my business and he can go do whatever he wants because we are broken up. I begged him to meet and talk. He texted me yesterday night that he will “give me another chance and allow me to talk to him another time”. That I better stop taking my time and make mistakes towards us if I don’t want him to make “mistakes” as well. To stop give him that sad story about what he does after X amount of days after our break up, after X amount of years together because he does not care and it is his last warning concerning that. If I don’t like it : to remain single, but if I want to discuss, we will find a moment soon. I did not reply, and he sent me another message saying that he is taking for granted that I accept what he presents.

I did not reply since yesterday. He texted me already telling me that I am doing my child again and not replying on purpose. But I feel like I don’t know what to reply. Any thoughts?? I feel he knows my weakness (that I get hurt every time he sleeps with someone else when we break up) and uses it against me. I just don’t know what to do. Should I just never reply and block him on my phone, on Facebook, everywhere and cry my eyes out until I get over him and accept the fact that he’ll go sleep around with thousands of girls to hurt me, OR send a text (such as good luck). I just don’t know what exactly to send!

I feel so hurt right now. But he keeps telling me I am the one who hurt him repeatedly for the past weeks and that I do not understand how he feels, and instead I make it all about me. TBH, I might need some strength because this is so hard. Thank you!

Sorry to hear this but he is blaming you for his need to break-up so he can sleep around and not consider it 'cheating'. he's playing mind games.

He sounds like an abusive snake. Dump him, then go no contact and block him. You can do much better than this.

he broke up with me twice, because I don’t make enough efforts, and am inconsiderate of his feelings.

his usual excuse was that we were broken up so he did noting wrong.

Then you should dump him. Not that complicated

You should dump him. He doesn't want to be with just you he wants to sleep around with lots of different girls.

I'm sorry you're in this situation, but it's high time to kick this clown to the curb. It's time to "up" your value...you can do this.

In the past he said he does this to get back at me because he was so mad. I have not replied to his messages since yesterday. He has already tried to call me 3 times and, text a friend of mine asking her if she has any news from me, he also texted me saying he's giving up on me, that if he keeps having hope, I will keep hurting him. A part of me doesn't want to answer, because if I do, he will reply and I will reply and it will never end and I know I will start begging him to arrange everything. But another part of me just can't leave him hanging without any news from me whatsoever because I do love him, and not give any news is worrisome and as if i'm a coward.

You're not just a coward,you're a doormat. Time to grab some self respect and stand up for yourself

Excellent. ok here's the news from you...text him: 'Look it's not working out. I need to end this. Please don't contact me again".

Then you block him from your phone social media, etc. and ask people not to talk to him about you, that it's over.

part of me just can't leave him hanging without any news from me whatsoever

He is an emotionally abusive axx and you are a fool if you go back for more of that kind of treatment. Sorry to be blunt by you should actually block and delete him because you've been far too weak to keep him away. He's manipulative, he's immature, he's a cheater just breaking up with you so he can (in his own mind be guilt free) screw some other girl that he's pulled and he keeps hanging around until he deems you've done something wrong again.

If you go back to him again then I am going to tell you straight you need professional help to get you over your addiction to him. Professional help with a good therapist or life coach will help you to have enough self-respect that you would tell someone like him to get lost and lose your number.

He acts like a four year old boy not getting his own way when he expects you to just take him back without question and when you show some self-respect and ignore his abuse, he just tries harder to manipulate you by tearing you down verbally and acting even more immaturely then before.

Stay away from him. Love yourself enough to do that and never let him back in your life again.

Edited for typo.

He kept telling me that what he decided to do while we are NOT together is none of my business and he can go do whatever he wants because we are broken up.

Ok, so why does he make sure to let you know about these other women he's had sex with or planned dates with? Is there any reason for him to be telling you that stuff, aside from hurting and manipulating you? Not only is he breaking up with you (for lame reasons) so he can go get some sex from someone else, he's going out of his way to be hurtful about it. Ditch this jerk!

Yes he does not have to tell me but he does because he knows it's sensitive to me. Since today, he called me at least 15 times, tried to call my mom as well at least 5 times (She knows everything and does not want to ever talk to him again and blocked him on her Facebook account as well) and texted me that he's honestly and sincerely sorry, that he is so worried, begging me to tell him I'm at least ok. This is so hard. I feel like he's not truly apologizing, he is just freaking out because I am not giving any news whatsoever (like any person would) but I would so want to answer but I don't see it changing. Right now he's in my position. I remember when I used to call him non stop and he would not answer on purpose or even worse block me everywhere completely. Its just so hard because I am not like that. I don't like making someone suffer even though I always get hurt..

Yes he does not have to tell me but he does because he knows it's sensitive to me. Since today, he called me at least 15 times, tried to call my mom as well at least 5 times (She knows everything and does not want to ever talk to him again and blocked him on her Facebook account as well) and texted me that he's honestly and sincerely sorry, that he is so worried, begging me to tell him I'm at least ok. This is so hard. I feel like he's not truly apologizing, he is just freaking out because I am not giving any news whatsoever (like any person would) but I would so want to answer but I don't see it changing. Right now he's in my position. I remember when I used to call him non stop and he would not answer on purpose or even worse block me everywhere completely. Its just so hard because I am not like that. I don't like making someone suffer even though I always get hurt..

He's not suffering... he's just trying to win by getting you to talk to him. He knows you are fine. He would certainly hear through the grapevine and network of friends if something terrible happened to you so don't let him manipulate you any longer. Block him so you can't see his attempts and get on with your life without him.

Thank your mother for having your back and deleting and blocking and ignoring him as well.

He's got mental issues and believe me, once he knows you've figured out his tactics aren't going to work for him anymore, he'll stop his harassment of you.

4 simple words. Get rid of him!

Now's not the time to be a martyr. Now's the time for boundaries and dignity. Good your mother blocked him. she has common sense. You should do the same. Blowing up your phone is not undying love and concern it's control to get his plaything back.

Its just so hard because I am not like that. I don't like making someone suffer even though I always get hurt..

It's very simple. Stop taking him back! Don't mean to sound harsh but that will stop it all and you control it

So sorry you've been treated this way, it's not OK.

I agree with Quasi, in that he is hurting you on purpose by telling these things.

There is absolutely no reason to tell you about dates and sexual encounters, bragging and throwing his weight around.

If you love someone truly and respect them, you don't hurt them in this way. It's just not on.

Tell him this relationship isn't working for you, good luck to him, and not to contact you again.

Then block him on everything.

It's the only way, and you can do better.