Need some advice please!

So I started talking to this guy threw a dating app. We talk everyday since the before the 4 of July. Just asking get to know type questions And also relationship stuff. It is texting and calling. Now it's going on pretty much the 3rd week and I'm starting to get nervous Beacause he hasn't asked me to meet him. I have brought it up and we have talked about it but no plans get made. I have asked if he is nervous to meet me and he said yes a little. Yesterday I had asked if he wanted to meet for a drink on Friday. He said he was suppose to go away for weekend and was checking to see if the plans were still happening. I have not heard back about it yet. I don't want to give up on it but I don't want to date my phone either. What do I do?

Hi,

I wouldn't put all your eggs in one basket with this guy. It may be he is just looking for somebody to talk to and that's it. Some people on those sites are just looking for pen pals or cat fishing. I find it odd he won't meet you in three weeks of talking.

I would keep talking to other men on the site and keep your options open.

Lisa

I guess but I do want to meet him tho. I don't get it.

Does anyone have more thoughts on this? I would really like everyone's advice or opinion.

3 weeks is a long time for him to wait to ask to meet you. He might not be as interested as you are, or like the other poster said, is only looking for someone to chat with.

He also may be playing the field and you are one of the lesser options and he is dating or talking to more than just you. But those things happen in dating sites, which is why you do need to keep YOUR options open as well and don't get so serious over one man. Unless he asks you to meet and you've had a few dates already, you don't know what you're dealing with.

I met a woman on a dating site once. I talked to her for a week and when I asked when she was available. She was always very vague and told me she would get back to me but she wouldnt.

I got fed up of her just chatting and after a week I told her that I wasnt lookig for a "pen friend" and told her Iwasnt going to invest in lots of texting without ever meeting. I asked her to check her diary and let me know when she available and deleted her number.

She never replied back and that was 2 weeks ago. You just have to filter out the time wasters out there. Trust me there are lots of them.

If he's that nervous, he shouldn't be on a dating site. You took the initiative and asked him to meet..good for you. It's up to him now. But, in my opinion, he's hiding something and he'll come up with some excuse.

So what should I do. Just stop contacting him or ask him what is deal is or what?

If he refuses to meet you and doesn't offer to reschedule, then, yes, I would stop contacting him.

Sounds like he may be catfishing you if he's that reluctant after talking for 3 weeks, something is off with that. I would tell him if he wants to meet up let you know otherwise yes I wouldn't invest anymore time texting with him.

Let me explain something to you, as guys we have a piece of body equipment that is energized 24/7 looking for satisfaction. It takes over our thoughts very often. And that satisfaction is not always easy to find when most women are reluctant until they see effort from the guy to offer more than vague interest.

In other words, if you have been pen pals for 3 weeks with a guy and he is not making a move to meet you plus he is being vague or making excuses without following up with solid plans, he is not interested in you. Why? Who cares. Might be chasing others, but he has you way down the line of priority in his life. Again, he is not interested. He is not the only guy on the planet nor is he the guy who you think he is as he may portray himself in his pen pal style. If he was, you would have met by now.

When doing any kind of online dating, if a quick meeting doesn't happen soon, it's a waste of time. You've already put too much effort and concern into this situation. So it would be great for you to seek others.

Delaying meeting this long with all that messaging is not a good sign. Why? Because he may be shuffling dates and you are at the bottom. He could be a fake/catfish/ married/whatever.

Good you asked him, but his lame excuse about 'checking back' would be enough for most people to ditch him after more than two weeks of stalling. I would move on to someone who wants to meet in a timely fashion.

3rd week and I'm starting to get nervous Beacause he hasn't asked me to meet him.Yesterday I had asked if he wanted to meet for a drink on Friday. He said he was suppose to go away for weekend and was checking to see if the plans were still happening.

Sounds like he may be catfishing you if he's that reluctant after talking for 3 weeks, something is off with that. I would tell him if he wants to meet up let you know otherwise yes I wouldn't invest anymore time texting with him.

I don't think he's catfishing. I have seen his FB page because we have 2 mutual friends. His profile pic is the same as the ones he's sent me.

Ok, then unfortunately, he's just jerking you around.

I don't think he's catfishing. I have seen his FB page

could I just ask him flat out? I mean all that you are all saying... Makes me really want to know what the hell is going on.

Ask what? You've never met. Why not just move on? He's not going to tell you what's going on. However he is doing a great job of showing you what is going on by stalling and hemming and hawing about meeting.

could I just ask him flat out? I mean all that you are all saying... Makes me really want to know what the hell is going on.

I had a girl from a dating site do that to me, she kept putting it off - finally about a month later I meet her to find out she's bigger and older looking than all of her pictures, which I assumed then were 5-7 years old. People that are hiding things want to text 24/7 for weeks in hopes that you will look past their fake pics/stats once meeting.

Our date which was to be hours long and involve many activities ended up being one coffee and 30 minutes - I never contacted her ever again. Worst part? I saw her on a dating site a couple years later with all the same ancient pictures - some people never learn!!

Do not waste time texting, it means absolutely nothing if you haven't yet met face to face.

Ask what? You've never met. Why not just move on? He's not going to tell you what's going on. However he is doing a great job of showing you what is going on by stalling and hemming and hawing about meeting.

Yeah. Ok. You have a point! Why would he waste his time texting and asking questions and calling me. If he had no intention of meeting me. I'm just so fustrated.

He's not interested in meeting. Maybe he just wants a pen pal. I would move on if I were you.

Good point from the other poster...it's a very good chance that his pics are old and he can't meet you because then you would see that he is actually much older than the pics he has shown you and possibly even a lot fatter by now. Or it could just be that he is multi-dating and he is not as interested in you as the other women but wants to keep you on the line..just in case.

Either way, you don't know him..haven't met, so why bother? Find someone else, no more explanations needed. He has wasted your time, that's all you need to know.

Why would he waste his time texting and asking questions and calling me. If he had no intention of meeting me.

Why do people chat in general? Chat sites are full of people who spend hours in there, just chatting with no intention of meeting their 'pals' in real life. Texting and calling is the same.

He either kills time and never planned on meeting you or he has something to hide (old or fake pics, a marriage, a g/f, anything).