How do I rid myself of him

Hello, about 4 years ago I met someone and fell for them quite hard. He never showed any genuine interest just hot then cold interactions and he used me for sex about once a month. It sounds utterly pathetic to let somone treat you like this, let alone have feelings for them and yes it was, but I coudln't help it. This went on for about two years of him being rude and cold to being sweet attentive and manipulative for brief periods of time. This was emotionally heartbreaking for me and eventually after about 2 years he found somone he actually did want to spend time with and swiftly ended things with me whilst reafirming how this wasn't his fault and that he never really said he was interested in me in the first place, so I shouldn't have gotten attached. I guess this is true. It was horribly painful and took a long long time to feel even slightly "right" again I also went on antidepressents to help what was crippling self loathing, depression and low self asteem.

A year and a half or so goes by and I feel good about myself again I finsihed and did well in University, I was enjoing my friends, family and my life but the thoughts ever lingured of this one person. Then he got back in contact with me, saying he wanted to talk. Everyone of my friends warned me against this. I didn't listen. He told me he was sorry, he wanted to make it up to me etc. A part of me knew this wasn't true but I didn't listen I decided to convince myself that he was sincere. A couple months go by and yes he is slighty more repectful than before but it is more of the same. I decide to do what i never did before and confront him about it. As someone with anxiety and depression it was incredibly hard for me to express myself but I did. I told him how horrible he made me feel and that he was just using me until somone better comes along, and how I'm sick of being ignored until he wants sex. He once again manipulates me he tells me that he thinks I'm great and that he doesn't want to upset me, but that I don't really talk to him and why should he be the one. I actually convinced myself that this made sense and we both made more of an effort. I felt that for the first time we were getting on like normal people, but after the next sexual encounter he has again stopped talking to me and I believe he has found somone else.

What do I do? The pain, inadequacy and embarrasment feels so fresh again. My life and happiness feel tainted by these thoughts once more. I feel like I have taken a massive step back. Should I even bother talking to him or confornting him about this? I can't talk to friends or family about this I feel it is not fair on them they warned me enough already. How do I finally rid myself of these feelings and move on I can't go through another year or so of this and I don't know what to do.

Sorry this was long and probably full of errors. I appreciate any advice at all.

Just dump him if this is fwb/hook-ups and you want a relationship. You could talk to him until you are numb but he doesn't want to 'understand'. The time you waste trying to explain feelings to him could be better spent in the type of relationship you are actually looking for. Break up, go no contact and block him to set yourself free to find another.

Not worth the time, effort or pain to talk to him again because he didn't get it the first time. Revisit the ways that helped you get over him the first time and repeat.