These Dreams Of Her and I

Guys,

I need your positive help again. This time its over an ex from my past.

I have now had two dreams about my same ex girlfriend. I'm just going to call her A for short. So A and I met a long time ago and she and i were in college but not the same one. She lived with her mother and step father and I lived with my uncle and aunt in law. From the beginning of the relationship she expressed all the time that she wanted to be with me, have a family and grow old together. I was okay with this because I fell for her really hard and feelings (from what I thought on both ends) became very strong on a emotional level and physical one. I mean i finally felt like i found my future wife of who i was suppose to be with. Anyways, the relationship was being challenged because A is white and I'm black and her parents didn't really care for black people as that was one of the reasons they moved out of the area that we all lived but they only moved a hour away. So in the relationship A and I thought it would be a good idea to slowly bring them the news about "US" to them and keep most of it away from parents until everything was cool. We finally told the parents because one night we went out to hang out with friends and her parents followed her all the way to the place and question us what and why. so we told them the "what" as we are together and the "why" because she was with me and I'm back and she is white and from A hear from her parents from behind close doors made her feel like it wasn't ok even though she felt so strongly about me. Well about 5 months later A and I had a normal fight about a subject and we both need time to cool off about. Well her parents jumped in the middle of it and had her looked up things to see if she was heading in a abusive relationship with me. Her parents got her to understand where they were coming from and she ended it with me.

Of course I was very heart broken as i lost to her parents on it anyways. Now these days she seems happy with another guy and married to a different guy who is white. I'm friends with her on facebook and i told her that I was happy for her over their relationship but when i told her she became defensive as if i didn't really mean what i said honestly but I was being nice and honest and she understood that. I wanted to tell her how i feel about her but since shes with someone i didn't feel right doing it.

, now for the two dreams.

Dream 1.) I had a dream a few nights ago that I got a hold of A and asked her to meet with me. When i got to the place to meet with her, her step dad was there and told me that i better be kind and treat her with respect and i said of course as i always did before and he looked at me,sighed and said okay as if he wasn't thrilled or happy and walked away. Then i walked in the room and A was waiting for me in a nice white dress excited to see me and gave me a hug and i woke up.

Dream 2.) last night i had a dream that i again met up with A and we started talking about things. Well it was my turn to talk but every time i wanted to tell her how i feel someone or something kept interrupting me. We went on a walk and i had to tell her, so i did, I said, look I know your with someone now and i have to be honest. (It was almost like I didn't have control of my on mouth as i still told her) I said.. You have always been the girl who i've been waiting and wanting to be with. I'm sorry for any pain i cause you or your family. I love you and I know you cant say it back or anything but that is the through... and then A stated it right back to me that she loves me too and I started to cry and i woke up... going huh?!

So what the heck is going on... Its been about 7 or 8 years since we were together but i always felt that the relationship was cut short but it is what it is and there's nothing i can do it about it. Someone told me well what if she were to come back in your life romantically?? I said i can't believe that at all either, she's married.

Go no contact, unfriend and block on all social media. She is occupying valuable head-space that you could repurpose to finding a love of your own.

Now these days she seems happy with another guy and married to a different guy who is white. I'm friends with her on facebook.

Dreams are meaningless. Shes married. Don't be that guy.

it sounds like your dreams offered the closure you wanted externally. take it as that. you wanted to know she understood you think well of her, wish her well, and are sorry for any inconvenience she experienced due to her parents' bias. you basically gave yourself the forgiveness and closure you wanted from outside. call it the book ending. you wish one another well (it doesn't sound like she holds a grudge against you or blames you for anything) and that is the friendly note it ends on and you can both move on in life.

i would not embark on the painful downward path of interpreting the wish-fulfillment in the dream as a premonition of some kind. you know the facts. she isn't angry or resentful, but she has let you go and moved on. she is married and showing no interest in getting back together in waking life.

what is keeping you from opening a new chapter for yourself?

it sounds like your dreams offered the closure you wanted externally. take it as that. you wanted to know she understood you think well of her, wish her well, and are sorry for any inconvenience she experienced due to her parents' bias. you basically gave yourself the forgiveness and closure you wanted from outside. call it the book ending. you wish one another well (it doesn't sound like she holds a grudge against you or blames you for anything) and that is the friendly note it ends on and you can both move on in life.

 

i would not embark on the painful downward path of interpreting the wish-fulfillment in the dream as a premonition of some kind. you know the facts. she isn't angry or resentful, but she has let you go and moved on. she is married and showing no interest in getting back together in waking life.

 

what is keeping you from opening a new chapter for yourself?

well I am dating and moving on and I would never be the guy that would be a home wrecker because i know what that is like to be cheated on also. It's just for some reason these dreams keep popping up and i have always thought that relationship didn't grow to it's full potential. But It is what it is now as I have moved on, it just these dreams come up and makes you think a little bit about what all happened.

well I am dating and moving on and I would never be the guy that would be a home wrecker because i know what that is like to be cheated on also. It's just for some reason these dreams keep popping up and i have always thought that relationship didn't grow to it's full potential. But It is what it is now as I have moved on, it just these dreams come up and makes you think a little bit about what all happened.

I have been divorced for 22 years. Every once in a great while my mind will dredge up a dream about my ex. Why? Who knows. But in the big scheme of things it's meaningless. Your brain is full of useless crap it vomits up once in a while. It's not a sign.

it sounds like your dreams offered the closure you wanted externally. take it as that. you wanted to know she understood you think well of her, wish her well, and are sorry for any inconvenience she experienced due to her parents' bias. you basically gave yourself the forgiveness and closure you wanted from outside. call it the book ending. you wish one another well (it doesn't sound like she holds a grudge against you or blames you for anything) and that is the friendly note it ends on and you can both move on in life.

RainyCoast, now that I think about it more, I think you are right. thank you.

it would make sense, wouldn't it? it didn't live up to it's full potential because it was cut short by a discriminatory intervention. so there is a drive to complete things i think, and if you haven't completed the story mentally for yourself as in "it would've made a good thing, but now that it's over i'll go for a new good thing that doesn't have some racist damocles' sword always hanging above it waiting to drop on my head" maybe you just didn't feel like you give yourself permission to keep moving forward.

both have forgiven. a benevolent goodbye makes for a clean new slate

Dreams are meaningless. Shes married. Don't be that guy.

I second this post. They say that dreams like this are sometimes "wishful thinking". Is it?